Here's another head-scratcher: "Higher Power." I've heard non-committal "spiritual" people refer to this, even quizzing me on whether I believe in one, with a straight face. Though not a typical conversation of the sort, a (former) friend made some kind of argument about energy. "When you fart, that's energy," he continued. I simply said I didn't believe in a "Higher Power."

You're not escaping the logical problems of "god" by muddying the language. What is this "power" "higher" than? Is it hotter, bigger, smarter, heavier: what? There are innumerable things bigger, hotter, more energetic than us. Maybe we'll find something smarter someday. But what's it have to do with anything? Advocates of this "higher power" -- that's likely just a bastardization of whatever "god" they're too lazy to worship in earnest -- are of course supposing that they have some kind of access to this "energy," that it's relevant to them in some way.

"Energy" is no better a word either. They seem to believe it's floating in space, waiting to be plucked by their new age ass. Energy follows physical laws, it's not whatever you want it to be. It's only accessible to us, and relevant to us, under certain conditions: as the electrical impulses created by our bodies as fueled by food, for instance. It seems what they're really looking to do is escape their own limits, remove things that require thought and concentration, and find a big "whatever" place where they can get instant gratification.