Jesus' gang rape scene
Posted on: March 5, 2008 - 12:36am
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Jesus' gang rape scene
I've wanted to attend a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passion_play">passion play</a> with a hostile audience that criticized the Romans for going too easy on Jesus. "Hit him again! Harder!"
I've also wanted to watch one where the Romans did horrific things to Jesus not recorded in the gospels. For example, I've joked that I liked the scene in Mel Gibson's movie where the Romans stripped Jesus naked, ridiculed his manhood and then gang raped him. If christians get off on watching Jesus' suffering, wouldn't that work for them?
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Why? Why do you particularly want to see anyone gang raped and murdered? That would just make the xians more passionate about what an incredible "sacrifice" god made: "Jesus was anally raped for your sins, what have you done for him?!"
Naturally this would inspire a few jokes about "Reacharound for Jesus", which would be pretty funny.
I don't have a problem with jokes about stupid beliefs - there isn't even any proof that this jesus schmuck ever even existed - but it seems to be more a commentary on your own twisted sexual proclivities than being close to amusing to the rest of us. So keep it to yourself, you sick fuck, or go smear your deviancies on some xian forums where they'd REALLY appreciate it.
On the other hand, heckling a "passion play" could be kinda fun
"But still I am the Cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to me!" ~Rudyard Kipling
Mazid the Raider says: I'd rather face the naked truth than to go "augh, dude, put some clothes on or something" and hand him some God robes, cause you and I know that the naked truth is pale, hairy, and has an outie
Entomophila says: Ew. AN outie
I would like to go to one of those reenactments, but with a masochist Jesus (that was redundant, I meant openly masochistic) you know, one in which instead of the romans (or the audience) screaming "hit him harder", jesus himself screams "harder, harder you pussy, yeah yeah, that's the spot, I haven't bleed from there in 5 minutes or so. C'mon, put some muscles in it, my son!"
And as the passion continues and the torture escalates, so does jesus' pleasure, and his demands for harder and more specific torture:
"YEAH, put those spines in my forehead, DEEP you wussy, poke my left eye out with one!, Anyone has a red-hot pooker? NO?! what kind of torturers are you, you softy bitches! Then, whip me some more!, What, are you fucking kidding me? Not with that one, use THAT one, the big one with spikes and pointy shit. YEAH, OOHHHG GOD, YESSSS! THAT'S THE WAY DADDY LIKES IT"
I would really like to see the look in the audience's face watching this particular "passion"
Edit: Oh, oh, and I would like to listen to little johnnys and debbies asking their parents:
Debbie or Johnny: mom, is jesus is going to hit one of the guards and escape?
Mom - Goodness gracious, no, why do you ask sweetie?
Debbie or Johnny: Because I think Jesus hid a club under his cloak and is hiding it between his legs, see?
Lenore, The Cute Little Dead Girl. Twice as good as Jesus.
wow. you guys really have no understanding of christianity....