The Brown Paradox
Offline So, everyone knows the Bible mentioned fantastical creatures. Talking animals, unicorns, sea monsters, dragons...
...Wait. fucking dragons?
A diverse class of reptilia that is sapient, covered in armor plating, able to both fly and breathe fire, and rivals even sauropods in size and weight (some figures suggest lengths of more than 140 ft long and 80 tons in weight, depending on the sourcebook or beastiary you flip through)?
I understand the creationist argument for dinosaurs on the Ark. I even think it's a little bit cute. "Moses only took the adorable lil' infants aboard, so there was lots of room for everybody and nobody fought."
Aww.
But wait a minute... sure, I guess most dumb beasts would just sit there and watch their little ones walk-off into the care of an old windbag human (?), and there wouldn't be much they could do after the proverbial hammer fell. But dragons?
Bilbo Baggins wasn't able to take one single piece of treasure from Smaug's lair without the great monster getting pissed and going on a town-wrecking rampage. How do you suppose they would react, then, to the sight of two of their newly hatched offsprings zipping-off to some unknown destination - and then finding that some lowly human had herded them onto a giant, rickety wooden boat?
To quote Sir Wolfram, my prized Rifts Cyberknight, whose final act of consequence was binding and kidnapping a Horned Dragon Hatchling from it's lair and running into the woods:
"...This is not how you can prevent forest fires."
This is a paradox of crushing magnitude. How do you propose that Moses managed to get every animal aboard his Ark without being turned into glowing embers by at least a few dozen terribly irate, fire-breathing, mega-damage capacity objects of his worst of worst nightmares? How was the Ark not completely obliterated?
"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
- Login to post comments
Are you serious or am I laughing for no good reason?
BigUniverse wrote,
"Well the things that happen less often are more likely to be the result of the supper natural. A thing like loosing my keys in the morning is not likely supper natural, but finding a thousand dollars or meeting a celebrity might be."
This is teh interwebz.Everything is serious always.
I understand your confusion though.Even I have never seen anyone seriously try justify dragons on the ark. What I want to know is where were the satyrs?
Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible
Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.
Satyrs are man beasts of a false god, like so many other, minotaurs, centaur (anytaur)... so they dont get to come on board.
What Would Kharn Do?
But they are in the bible, and god created everything, and the bible is completly true. Confusion
Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible
Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.
Well if God can make everything so convenient why did he bother with the whole flood thing in the first place? Why not simply zap all the bad people out of existence and leave all the animals out of it and save Noah the trouble? I guess God's just a big show-off and the flood was a flashier way to do things.
"The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs" - Bill Maher
What I want to know is,god is all knowing,so why'd he go through with it? He knew Noah would be sinning again within hours of landing,but he destroyed everything anyway. Temper tantrum much?
Then he gives us rainbows as a way of saying,'sorry I killed everything,bad day(40 days?) at the office.'?
Wow some refracted light!Thanks god!That really makes up for everything!
Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible
Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.
I was so angry by the time I read your second sentence that I started to respond before I went on to read the rest. Killer. Just killer.
Where are the damned satyrs? They must've been on. Perhaps, as with dragons, only the very young were allowed. Maybe humans then hunted them to extinction? (Look at me! I'm reasoning like a Christian!)
BigUniverse wrote,
"Well the things that happen less often are more likely to be the result of the supper natural. A thing like loosing my keys in the morning is not likely supper natural, but finding a thousand dollars or meeting a celebrity might be."
Ha..about what exactly?Did you think I was mocking you?
Sir Valiant would be proud.
Well that's dragons's and satyrs sorted.Not a bad thread's work.Though we still need to figure what happened to the dragons and why there are no remains or evidence.
Psalm 14:1 "the fool hath said in his heart there is a God"-From a 1763 misprinted edition of the bible
Argument from Sadism: Theist presents argument in a wall of text with no punctuation and wrong spelling. Atheist cannot read and is forced to concede.
And unlike fire-breathing dragons, Guelph exists. Here, we have the finest food (the town is home to a 135-year-old agricultural college), some great limestone buildings (supplied by nearby quarries) and a mafia retirement community. Safe, sound and boring. Just the way I like it.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence