"I just had to write to you and thank you personally for writing  your book, "Fascinating Womanhood."  I have referred hundreds of people to it. I want  you to know that it has changed my marriage and my life.  I was married at the age of 17 and my husband was 20. We were both raised in the same church and had a lot in common.  Our belief in God and your book has been what has kept us together all of these 15 years of marriage.  We have had many struggles along the way. One day while we were still very young I finally had to talk to someone about our serious marriage problems.  I chose the pastor's wife because I knew she wouldn't tell anyone.

"After I cried with her for an hour and spilled my guts, I waited for her to fill me with her wisdom and advice. I thought for cerain she would tell me how awful my husbnd was and  how I should leave him. Instead she smiled sweetly and walked over to a shelf and handed me a book.  It was Fascinating Womanhood. I can't tell you how much I loved it.  I read it over and over. It was not only helpful but a pleasure to read. You hit dead on.  It was almost as if you lived in my house.  I found almost everything in it came very naturally to me, thankfully. My husband has since bought Man of Steel and Velvet.  We love it too.

"I want to thank you both for your time and efforts in writing them. I don't know where we would be today without them.  I even gave my daughter "The Fascinating Girl" because I wanted  her to have a good head start. I wish I had had it before I was married.  She is only 13 but I feel its not too soon to start learning. I will close or now.  I would love to know you. There is still so much I could learn or refresh on. Thank you a million times over."

 

Make Him Number One

A man wants a woman who will place him in the number one position on her list of priorities, not somewhere down the line. He wants her other activities to revolve around him, not vice versa. This is an inner need that has dire consequences when things like children, career, homemaking, or friends are placed before him.

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A man wants a clean home, and a comfortable environment. A man wants to be the king of his castle. The castle is there to serve the king, the king is not there to serve the castle. I like this quote from the book: "Create a home, not a showplace." The home should not take priority over him. (This does not give you license to neglect your duties. More on this in a later lesson.)

 

 

Should a Man Make You Number One?

Sometimes this isn't possible or even right. A man's life has a different nature than a woman's. His is a leadership role. He also may play an important role in civic, religious, or social affairs. A woman's role is supportive, and she is to be her husband's helper, confidant, counselor if need be, friend and one of his greatest allies.

Failure to place him in the number one position is often the reason a man turns to another woman. Women with less than good scruples are more than willing to make your man feel important, appreciated and admired.

(On insufficient reasons to work outside the home)

 

To Do Something Important: You may feel that your time at home is wasted, that your talents as a woman are not being used to their fullest extent, or that you are not making a worthwhile contribution to the world. You look at the women in the men's world and feel you pale in comparison.

This may be a prevalent notion among women of the world, but it is not a correct idea. Men's work is extremely important, but best done by men. When women leave their area of expertise, half of the whole picture is missing - part of the family set-up suffers. Women's work is every bit as important as men's, it's just in a different arena.

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Because You Want a Career: You may have a special talent in one of the arts or have a skill in a highly technical field and feel you should pursue a career. Think this over carefully and consider all the reasons stated above. Your family will suffer and your husband will not be able to be in the number 1 position with you. Your marriage will suffer. Is this the price you want to pay?

 

Should You Train Your Daughters For a Career?

If you are like most of today's mothers, you have this list made in your mind with all the reasons you need to have your daughter train for a career - she may have an emergency, she may get divorced, her husband may die, her husband may get disabled...on so on. There are serious consequences to this action. Here is the flip-side of the coin:

It Will Make Her Independent: As we have learned, one of the traits of a fascinating woman is dependency. Training for a career and a job outside the home teaches her just the opposite. She becomes independent and without the need for manly care. She has taken over one of the duties of a man and is in danger of acquiring masculine efficiency.

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Allows an Easy Exit: A woman with the ability to support and care for herself may be willing to call it quits with greater ease than one who is more dependent on her husband. Most marriages are hard work and have rough times. A woman with an easy-out may not weather the storms.