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I need a youthful looking pregnant woman! Quick, dammit!

Posted on: June 5, 2008 - 12:13pm

DamnDirtyApe

Posts: 666

Joined: 2008-02-15

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I need a youthful looking pregnant woman! Quick, dammit!

If we let this opportunity pass us by, we'll be kicking ourselves just like Charlie Bludhorn did when he let Funny Girl get away!

True Love Waits in Sweatpants

[link fixed by Entomophila]

"The whole conception of God is a conception derived from ancient Oriental despotisms. It is a conception quite unworthy of free men."
--Bertrand Russell

Posted on: June 5, 2008 - 1:31pm #1

Hambydammit

Posts: 8657

Joined: 2006-10-22

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Quote:If fashion is a form

Quote:

If fashion is a form of communication, and I’ve said that it is, the K-Mart virginity dungarees are a giant neon sign that constantly flashes the words, “My mom bought me these! My mom bought me these!” And/or possibly, “My parents wouldn’t let me take Sex Ed! My parents wouldn’t let me take Sex Ed!”
I can just imagine the tearful exchange between parent and daughter when, on her wedding day, she hands over the neatly folded sweatpants of her girlhood to her father's waiting hands, "Here, Dad. I guess I won't be needing these any more." Or, if that doesn't work out, the "True Love Waits" sweatpants seem roomy enough to accommodate a pregnant teen's growing belly. Either way, you get your $16.99 worth.

I'm so torn by this article! On the one hand, I like having a good measure of which of the new freshmen girls are going to be easiest to get in the sack (Baptist girls are easy... don't let anyone tell you any different). On the other hand, Kmart is walking distance from my house, and is the only place in town that I can get Martha Stewart Living crockpots... gosh... I go through about three of those a month...

Finally, Kmart was my last bastion of superstore megalomart binge shopping! I had to give up on Wallyworld because of their book section, which didn't look much different from the "Way of the Master Propaganda Center and Children's Playground."

This is indeed a black day.

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism

Posted on: June 5, 2008 - 1:33pm #2

Hambydammit

Posts: 8657

Joined: 2006-10-22

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My favorite comment to that

My favorite comment to that article:

Quote:

Kmart is also planning on releasing the boy's version of the sweatpants. On the front, it says "True Love W....aww, sorry about that. let me get you a towel. My bad."

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism

Posted on: June 5, 2008 - 3:23pm #3

Aqua_Seal

Posts: 42

Joined: 2008-04-08

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Three a month!?

Hambydammit wrote:

On the other hand, Kmart is walking distance from my house, and is the only place in town that I can get Martha Stewart Living crockpots... gosh... I go through about three of those a month...

Um, what exactly are you cooking in those crockpots? Puzzled

Posted on: June 5, 2008 - 3:30pm #4

HeyZeusCreaseToe

Posts: 675

Joined: 2008-02-27

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Aqua_Seal wrote:Hambydammit

Aqua_Seal wrote:

Hambydammit wrote:
On the other hand, Kmart is walking distance from my house, and is the only place in town that I can get Martha Stewart Living crockpots... gosh... I go through about three of those a month...
Um, what exactly are you cooking in those crockpots?

Atheist stew: Two parts dead babies, 1 part human soul, and a little curry.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Yoda

Posted on: June 5, 2008 - 3:34pm #5

Jeffrick

Posts: 2446

Joined: 2008-03-25

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Birth control

My mother (with the medical degree) told me and my sisters (& 3 more brothers) the best birth control device ever invented was the commen aspirin, yes the aspirin.

The female holds the aspirin between her knees, no hands involved. As long as she keeps it between her knees she can't get pregnant.

"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."

VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"

If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?

Posted on: June 5, 2008 - 4:26pm #6

shikko

Posts: 448

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Jeffrick wrote: My

Jeffrick wrote:

My mother (with the medical degree) told me and my sisters (& 3 more brothers) the best birth control device ever invented was the commen aspirin, yes the aspirin.
The female holds the aspirin between her knees, no hands involved. As long as she keeps it between her knees she can't get pregnant.

That shows a lack of both a can-do attitude and more importantly, imagination.

--
maybe if this sig is witty, someone will love me.

Posted on: June 5, 2008 - 5:26pm #7

Hambydammit

Posts: 8657

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Quote:That shows a lack of

Quote:

That shows a lack of both a can-do attitude and more importantly, imagination.

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism

Posted on: June 5, 2008 - 7:27pm #8

Watcher

Posts: 2326

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shikko wrote:That shows a

shikko wrote:

That shows a lack of both a can-do attitude and more importantly, imagination.

Doggystyle anyone?

"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci