Don't know how.
Offline There is a TL;DR at the bottom.
The last time I posted wasn't a very good time for me. If any of you even remember that, I was doing a TON better. I talked to my mom about my grades, and actually did graduate, go me! By the beginning of my 2nd semester I had a lot of friends in a class that I transfered into....one of them was Jasmine(using different name obviously) and we exchanged numbers so we could talk via text during SSR(Sustained Silent Reading) we went on a few dates and became boyfriend and girlfriend.
Everything was going great. Sure, we hit a few bumps, but what high school relationship doesn't go through "rough times". I changed a lot about myself to help the relationship. We had been together for 5 months...which isn't very long but for high school relationships that's pretty good. Then she decides to break up with me. and why did she do this? "too much of a friend" the retarded answer I always seem to get when I'm interested in someone. What's better was that she broke up with me in a text...so I know this is a good start to breaking up.
So of course I'm crying, it didn't seem like it mattered much to her, which kind of pissed me off. I wanted to write her a message telling her that I didn't understand how I became too much of a friend and noted every thing I had done for the relationship...but I decided to do it the next day when she was coming over to grab her stuff. This took more cohanes than I thought I had...but I did it.
One thing I noticed during the relationship was she was always hanging with her best friend. We'll call him Billy. And I was fine with her having a guy best friend, I knew that they were intimate before...which irked me a little bit but I was ok with it after she said there was nothing there.
I noticed a problem in the relationship when she started wanting to hang out with her friends more than with her boyfriend. When I asked her about it, she just said that her friends wanted to see her a lot before they left for college blah blah blah. But soon it became a FIGHT for me to see her for a few hours...I would have to bitch and moan until she caved.
When she broke up with me, and the day after I told her in person what I had done for the relationship. I noticed something while playing Rock Band, and decided to write her a message via e-mail since she wouldn't let me talk to her at all. and I said what was on my mind. I said that I don't think it's right for someone to put her friends above their boyfriend/girlfriend. and that I couldn't "just be friends" because I didn't think of her that way.
Anyway I started talking to one of both of our friends, and she said she was going to kill me because of what I did to Jasmine.
So my question is....Was I an idiot for voicing my opinion on the situation? Sure e-mail is just as bad as texts, but was what I said correct?
TL;DR: got girlfriend, school ended, relationship turned to shit, she said I'm too much of a friend, dumped me, I talked to her about it. now everyone of her friends would like to kill me.
So my question is....Was I an idiot for voicing my opinion on the situation? Sure e-mail is just as bad as texts, but was what I said correct by saying that relationships should always be above friends?
any comments, flames, lol fails are welcome.
"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a religion, and he'll starve to death praying for fish." - Anonymous
"If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you." -Anonymous
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No - she was a total bitch the way she did that. You did nothing wrong.
There's way too many fish in the sea to worry about her or what you did to upset her. What's happened has happened. Had you not said anything, would you two be back together? I doubt it.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be 'just' friends with someone who you were in a intimate relationship with.
Being that young, she wouldn't know what she wants if it was spelled out for her. And you being young as well, don't get hung up on someone. Go out and have fun and keep an open mind. You'd be surprised who you meet. It's ok to feel bad about breaking up, time will heal that, just don't let it consume you.
Oh, and one last thing, don't call her, don't email her, don't text her, don't communicate with her in any way, unless it's to get your stuff back.
Enjoy your summer!
First of all the idea of sexually mature men and women being "just friends" is a myth. One party of that relationship usually wants to bang the other. Since this is the case most of the time you're better off playing the odds. If you're interested in a chick and she says she thinks of you as a friend, it's game over. Don't waste anymore time pursuing her.
Never forfeit friendship for a new relationship. They know your quirks and shortcomings and will be more accepting and forgiving of them. They will be there to help you pick up the pieces in times like this. Any woman who would ask you to dedicate most of your time to her at the expense of your friends is not worth the time and effort it takes to make her happy. That applies to you as well. If you expect her to drop prior commitments to friends and family, you're asking too much. If it seems like getting her to spend time with you is like pulling teeth that should tell you how she feels about you. Unless she's offering up plausibe reasons and making an honest effort to see you, it's time to move on.
As for whether or not telling her how you feel was the right thing to do, it depends. It sounds like you chose a constructive venue. It probably won't change her mind about you but, sometimes you just have to get it off your chest. Ignore her friends. They're inconsequential and it's none of their business.
"Faith, Faith is an island in the setting sun,
but proof, proof is the bottom line for everyone."
Proof, Paul Simon
Nothing this hard should taste so beefy.
Thanks for securing my decision you guys. It definitely happened today when I found out that two days after we broke up she hung out with one of my friends, and said needed a cuddle buddy, and then they made out and started groping each other. So yeah, I think my decision is a very good one in my opinion. I feel sorry that she's going so low to pretty much whoring herself
"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a religion, and he'll starve to death praying for fish." - Anonymous
"If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you." -Anonymous
I'm reading alot of good advice here. I wish my youngest daughter could see this. She is being treated similarly by her boyfriend.
Her actions should give you no reason to second guess yourself and what she did after she broke up with you should give you some piece of mind.
If I were you, I be relieved she's out of my hair. She's someone else's problem now.
She just showed you that bitches be bitches and hoes be hoes.
By the way, all hoes are bitches but not all bitches are hoes.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
What about bros before hoes?
My brain has just exploded..
And yes, actually I am not as upset as I thought I would be....she would argue about every single point I made...it was, quite frankly....ricockulous to deal with every day
that phrase was taken from Jack Black's Tenacious D commentary btw
"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a religion, and he'll starve to death praying for fish." - Anonymous
"If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you." -Anonymous
Which one? "Ricockulous"? I first heard that on an "Infectious Grooves" album from the early nineties.
"Faith, Faith is an island in the setting sun,
but proof, proof is the bottom line for everyone."
Proof, Paul Simon
Nothing this hard should taste so beefy.
oh....dammit, oh well I'll still use it
Ah, high school drama.
All I can say is: don't sweat it. Your first few relationships are destined to be throw-aways. It takes a lot of experience to figure out how to get along with another person, let alone how to get along with another person in an intimate relationship.
My only advice: never beg to get their attention. If they aren't hanging out with you, they don't want to hang out with you. They're pussying out, and won't tell you they no longer want to hang out with you, which is a sign they aren't worth your time anyway. Take it as a non-vocal communication, and move on. It might be hard, but it's not worth demeaning yourself. They lose respect for you, start to resent you, and it never turns out pretty.
"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers
The worst part it I felt horrible having to bitch and moan, I lost respect for myself. and the fact that I tell her pretty much the 100% truth she still has her friends "willing to hurt me".
I'm glad I graduated....High School is a bitch, both academically and socially.
"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a religion, and he'll starve to death praying for fish." - Anonymous
"If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you." -Anonymous
Remember that feeling and all the behaviors exhibited by both her and yourself leading up to it. We've all made those same mistakes, the only thing to be ashamed of is if you don't learn from this experience. I went through it when I was 19. I was crushed, that feeling eventually turned to hate for my ex, but looking back now I'm glad it worked out the way it did. Regardless of how I felt about myself or her at the time it was a valuable experience.
"Faith, Faith is an island in the setting sun,
but proof, proof is the bottom line for everyone."
Proof, Paul Simon
Nothing this hard should taste so beefy.
It is awesome.
Yeah. I always feel pity for those who promise you, "High school is the best years of your life!"
Don't listen to them. There's a hell of a lot of good stuff coming up for you. High school sucks.
"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers
Jr high and High School were most definitely the WORST years of my life.
Well if High School is supposed to be the best years of my life then wow....life sucks worse than I thought it did.
"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a religion, and he'll starve to death praying for fish." - Anonymous
"If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you." -Anonymous
That's why I said you have a lot of good stuff in the future. The worst is behind you. I say, life begins after high school.
I'll give some advice I gave my nieces and my daughter: travel. See the world. Don't settle down too early in life. Live irresponsibly while you can; at some point, you'll end up married with kids and a dog, and then it's too late. That's the one thing I regret: not traveling.
The other one thing I regret is not getting laid more often.
"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers
Well I wouldn't want to make myself a little manwhore, even though it sounds like it would be awesome...truth is my father was like that when he was young, hence me being here.
Posting on boards about my life and having complete strangers making me feel better about it. Hanging out with my friend Ashley.
I've been trying to keep myself busy...playing video games mostly, listening to old Dr.Demento songs
That's what else kind of sucks, when I was with Jasmine I had a ton of friends but now that we've broken up I've lost almost all of them cept for Ashley, who is actually Sam's best friend, but Ashley is on my side of it.
I'm not really afraid of the "I'm going to kill you" message from her friend....mostly because I've recieved worse death threats from being an Atheist.
"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a religion, and he'll starve to death praying for fish." - Anonymous
"If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you." -Anonymous
Hey, the Doctor should be able to make anyone feel better (even without more cowbell). Got any Tom Lehrer on that collection?
How many of your friends were friends with Jasmine pre-breakup? How many were made during the relationship? Some of the disappearances may have to do with them not having yet come to the conclusion that you actually have an identity outside the first half of "and Jasmine". This is tied almost directly to life experience, so it's not unexpected.
In my experience, shared friends seem to default to being on the female's side in a breakup, unless the female is obviously at fault for the breakup (like caught boning the lacrosse team while you were in hospital nursing a broken limb incurred while saving a dog from being run over). I don't know how much of this is from some societal bias that breakups are usually a man's fault, or the fact that men generally don't talk about a breakup after it happens, so the female is the only one who "gets their story out"...
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maybe if this sig is witty, someone will love me.
I mean...yeah, Ashley is Jasmine's best friend *cough* *cough*, oh well, I did pretty good at first.
That really sucks that that happened to you...I don't think I could handle someone cheating on me.
/hug.
"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a religion, and he'll starve to death praying for fish." - Anonymous
"If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you." -Anonymous
Hah! I was trying to be humourous, not giving an example from my personal history, but thank you for the proffered support.
Not that I haven't been cheated on, but a lacrosse team was not involved. It was a tattooed fry cook.
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maybe if this sig is witty, someone will love me.
oh good....I was going to say that would suck, major ass!
Did the fry cook play lacrosse? If not you shouldn't lead people on.
"Faith, Faith is an island in the setting sun,
but proof, proof is the bottom line for everyone."
Proof, Paul Simon
Nothing this hard should taste so beefy.
I think that would take the cake.
Hey Jim are you ready to start the game?1
Yeah hold on let me finish cooking!
"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a religion, and he'll starve to death praying for fish." - Anonymous
"If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you." -Anonymous
I never asked him, but I would guess "no" from his appearance. He might have played guitar, but poorly. Does that get be off the hook for being a "I-cheated-on-you-with-a-burger-scented-scenester" tease?
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maybe if this sig is witty, someone will love me.
Firstly, when both sides are engaged in ''groping'' it never ends with just that >.>
That in mind, I suggest revenge, for a massive breach of trust (and other fluff that i use as excuses for vengeance) ^_^
What Would Kharn Do?
"When you hit your thumb with a hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a special kind of atheist to jump up and down shout, 'Oh, random fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!'"-Terry Pratchett
Near enough. You can kiss that 43 cents change in your tip jar goodbye.
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maybe if this sig is witty, someone will love me.