Things that make me go 'hmmmm'
Posted on: July 28, 2008 - 6:01pm
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Things that make me go 'hmmmm'
I was listening to NPR this afternoon and made note of the fact that the four suicide bombings today were perpetrated by females.
This makes me wonder.
If the reward for such deeds is a heaven full of 72 virgins, what does that mean for the ladies? Will they have to get down with girls? Will they get virgin boys? Or will they just have to say thanks, but no thanks?
Just a thought.
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I think the reward is that they don't have to be Muslims anymore.
The reward is whatever bullshit their masters/husbands make up for them.
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Maybe their reward is that whoever their husband/master is in heaven, he's too busy fucking virgins to beat her up very often
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...or force her to wear a blanket covering her entire body in 110 degree heat.
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Maybe Sam Harris was right about the Koran being mistranslated and what any of them actually get is 72 golden raisins
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usually a black woven goathair one at that. ouch... to put it mildly.
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We've attracted the muslim dating site ads again!
(goathair? really? sounds itchy)
yeah, either that or wool. most women wear something else underneath.
Vote for McCain... www.therealmccain.com ...and he'll bring Jesus back
I thought about that the first time I heard of a female suicide bomber.
What women would want 72 virgin guys poking at her all the time, throughout the infinity of time in the paradise?
Then it also made me wonder if these so called pious women are after 72 guys to boff them all the time, they are not really that pious are they?
The last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument: "It came from god."
I always say on my part I'd rather have 72 sluts than 72 virgins.
No no... you got it all wrong, she gets to take care of the 72 orphans she created when she blew up a bazaar ^_^
What Would Kharn Do?
I read last night that Queen Elizabeth in 1582 gave John Hawkins money to set sail on "The Good Ship Jesus." (the first slave ship to reach the Americas) hmmmmmmm
The last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument: "It came from god."
You're in luck Matt, the 72 virgiins are intelligent but souless according to tradition. They're called houris (muhammad called them wives) and they obey your smallest command. Their sole purpose is to bring ultimate pleasure to you. Each time they're used, abused, rode hard and put away wet, their bodies are reconstituted as virgins.
Also, in paradise wood is never in short supply and stamina never goes away and is the equivalent of 100 men, no resting in between unless you want to. BTW, there's also 80k servants to tend your other needs.
As far as women go, when they blow themselves up they get to join family members (father or husband) who preceeded them in death. No boy toys for the women martyrs.
Oh, and allah was gay and muhammad liked little girls. His second wife was bought at age seven and the marriage was consummated when she was nine, the age at which islamic law considerd a girl to be an adult and eligible for rape, er...marriage.
"Erecting the 'wall of separation between church and state,' therefore, is absolutely essential in a free society." Thomas Jefferson
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The problem with suicide bombers is the Koran specifically states if a believer kills another believer than they burn in hell, so they better be really sure of who they are blowing up.
"[4:93] Anyone who kills a believer on purpose, his retribution is Hell, wherein he abides forever, GOD is angry with him, and condemns him, and has prepared for him a terrible retribution."
And then there's this:
"[4:94] O you who believe, if you strike in the cause of GOD, you shall be absolutely sure. Do not say to one who offers you peace, "You are not a believer," seeking the spoils of this world. For GOD possesses infinite spoils. Remember that you used to be like them, and GOD blessed you. Therefore, you shall be absolutely sure (before you strike). GOD is fully Cognizant of everything you do."
This to me would suggest indiscriminate killing is against the Koran, because you have no idea who is walking by.
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"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.
From what I've read on Islam, women who go on to paradise join the harem of their earthly husband--though I don't know if they have the constantly regenerating hymen of the virgin consorts. I don't know if Islam makes a concession for women who die unmarried (no woman is supposed to--there is no such thing as an Islamic nun), but the odds are that they shall be free to contemplate the merciful and compassionate Allah in a state of peace and freedom from want. If He was truely compassionate, he'd reincarnate them as mules or camels--that is to say, creatures that Islamic men treat with more respect than their women.
"The whole conception of God is a conception derived from ancient Oriental despotisms. It is a conception quite unworthy of free men."
--Bertrand Russell
There is also the fact that 'innocent' only includes people considered muslim. There are shades of muslim, dependent on the person judging, although I'm sure that allah gets the final word.
This is why every time I see a muslim condemn the killing of 'innocents' a 'crime' I laugh. They don't mean you, silly dhimmi, just their people.
How can not believing in something that is backed up with no empirical evidence be less scientific than believing in something that not only has no empirical evidence but actually goes against the laws of the universe and in many cases actually contradicts itself? - Ricky Gervais
You know I meant only true believers, which mean Muslims that are true to Allah. This does not include anyone that is a false believer or like us non-believers. We are fair game according to the Koran but with some exceptions.
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"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.