how do other Atheists do it?
Offline Hello all... I am new to RR. I am still for the most part a closet atheist.
I never thought it would be difficult to be an atheist until I realized I was one. I thought the only difference was that I wouldn't have to go to church. I didn't realize society's intense hostility to non-believers. And to be honest, I still do not understand it. Why does telling someone that you don't believe in god cause them to abandon all their supposed religious values and act like a total dick! Apostasy anyone??
I have a funny Atheist T-shirt. It says "ATHEISM: A Non-Prophet Organization". Perhaps you have seen it. Clearly witty. I am still afraid to wear it out in public. I would have a less hard time wearing a Teen Life shirt out in public even though it's not my beliefs. Simply because it's socially acceptable. Perhaps I am just a big pussy. I think that is my goal at some point... to wear my t-shirt out and about.
The other issue I am dealing with is that my girlfriend is Christian. Maybe a 6 or 7 on scale of 1 to 10. Neither us ever bring up the subject. She knows I am not religious. I never go to church and I have Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins books, among others, laying around my house. We are avoiding the subject. Neither of us are going to change our beliefs. I could never even attempt to challenge her beliefs. Does anyone think there is any hope for an Atheist and a Christian to make a relationship work? The idea of me having a religious wedding or sending my kids to Sunday school makes me physically ill.
Tony
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If you are prepared for a lot of aggrivation with a devoutly religious wife & her family especially on how to raise children without religion, then go for it.
But you should think long and hard on that topic before saying 'I do' .
try this T-shirt; ATHEIST: No invisible means of support.
" " ATHEISIM: Guilt-free associations.
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
Welcome to the forums, Tony. As regards society's hostility and all that noise, keep in mind that you've got to pick your battles and that you can pick your friends. I'm guessing that you've had bad encounters with the godly for proclaiming your atheism. Unless it's work-related, you've got to forget those folks and move on. The vast majority of religious subscribers among the well-educated are like your Christian girlfriend--they're basically humanists with a religious veneer and typically judge people by their deeds and not their metaphysics; by the way, if you've not had an argument about this yet, there's no way she's a 6 or a 7 on a 10 point scale. As for the religious wedding bit, I was seriously contemplating the possibility of marrying a Catholic girl a while back and I found that the idea of lying to a succession of priests actually gave me a raging hard-on.
"The whole conception of God is a conception derived from ancient Oriental despotisms. It is a conception quite unworthy of free men."
--Bertrand Russell
Welcome to the forums, Tony!
Good to have you here.
On the shirt thing just wear it and if someone confronts you keep your cool and be the bigger man and just walk away if they start to raise their voice or anything.
I myself prefer to force people to actually read so i wear a shirt that says
"The Church says the Earth is Flat,
But i know that it is round,
For I have seen the shadow on the moon.
And i have more faith in a shadow than the church"
That has brought about some interesting conversations!
Ohhh and BTW Welcome and enjoy your stay!
i personally don't date theists but i know people (even a few on here) that are married to theists and seem to be handling things just fine... so hopefully one of them will chime in on this thread for you.
welcome to the forums!
Good point about her not really being a 6 or 7 if there hasn't been an argument about it. Shes Greek. Like really Greek. And I think being Greek Orthodox for her is like being Jewish for so many Jews today. It's more about tradition and heritage than it is about beliefs.
*chimes in*
I'm married to a theist, and things are going fine as far as I can see
Welcome to the forum!
I've been married to a theist for 8 years, and things are going just fine. Now, I'll admit that on a scale of 1-10 for strength of God-belief, I'd say my wife is maybe a 3 at most. So belief is not high on our list of things to squabble about.
The important thing is to talk to each other at length about the consequences of your beliefs (or lack of) on the prospects of your relationship. My wife made it clear before we got married that she would give our kids a theistic viewpoint, and I made it clear that I would do the opposite. We agreed that we'd let the kids decide for themselves. She takes them to church fairly regularly, but they're both under 4 years old so all they really do is play in the playroom.
So, all is not lost when you shack up with a theist. I would guess that if your girlfriend found your atheism completely unacceptable, she would have left you by now.
If you're interested in continuing to be with this woman for a while, my advice is to simply talk through your beliefs with each other. Oh, and sex - lots of sex. That'll help keep her mind off it.
Nobody I know was brainwashed into being an atheist.
Why Believe?
SaveMeJebus,
thanks for posting.
My atheism isn't about god, but about religion theology. God just means the unknown or the WTF? It's a science question .... Religion is dogma crap, as the god of abraham is an uneducated superstitious concept.
My message t-shirt could read,
"I am an Atheist for GOD
NOT Abrahams god delusion"
OR
"I am Atheist, the Christ is in me"
ETC ...
I turn religion terms against religion
"I am atheist, I am saved, Jesus was right"
I am a bible cherry picker, cause it is full of mostly shit !
Atheism Books.
Welcome to the outhouse.
I think it's a good goal. I also agree with DamnDirtyApe. Pick your battles. In other words, I wouldn't recommend wearing it to the next Southern Baptist Convention.
I'm not a big fan of theists and atheists making babies, but as some of the posters have pointed out, it's certainly possible. The sex thing still works regardless of Sunday School plans. All I can say (for fear of retribution if I say more) is please, please, please, for the love of the flying spaghetti monster, have a serious, honest, open discussion about how the children are going to be raised before getting married, and don't lie about your feelings. After you've had the discussion, wait six months and have it again, just to be sure. I have a great deal of respect for the people here who are married to theists and are making it work, but if we're going on statistics, they're the exception, not the rule. (Oh, and this kind of thing is part of my specialty, so I'm not just talking out my ass.)
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
Yeah, my wife is probably somewhere around the 3 I guess. As far as I can gather, she mostly likes the singing and the comfort factor, both of which I can understand, at least from a hypothetical perspective. I personally don't like much of the music I hear coming out of churches, and I personally think the idea that the omnipotent creator of the universe might just require my family and I to have a protracted and painful death. I don't doubt, however, that some of the music is good, and it sure looks to me like people are comforted by it.
Before getting married, with me being an Atheist, we had to go for an interview with a priest. As far as I was concerned there were some things where I just had to lie to what I considered to be a career-idiot. I was fine with it, and apparently she was too.
The good thing about it was that we knew a few topics that would be brought up, and so it did provide that motivation to have 'the talk'. I don't see how we can avoid indoctrinating kids in one way or another, even if it is indoctrinating them into critical thinking or liking pizza, but one thing I've been clear on is that they don't go to church until they're at least 10 years old and able to have experienced life without being surrounded by that particular presupposition. I also think that if they're going to learn about religion, they should learn about many religions simultaneously. Contemporary and historical versions.
Aside from that, sure, she may tell our kids that she believes in God and I may tell them that I don't. I think we should both avoid any statements of absolute certainty on the topic though, we still have to present as a 'team' so to speak.
I'm guessing that in some areas you kind of have to be a closet atheist. It seems to be easier for people near liberal cities. Just my personal experience - I'm very open about it, and people react about as much as if I said, "I'm a Buddhist", or "I'm Hindu" (ie no reaction). Sorry your environment isn't all that tolerant.
Anyway, welcome to the boards, and good luck with the relationship thing. I'm just not the person to talk to about relationships, though. I'm told you need emotions for those, and I'm not certified on emotions.
addendum: that is a seriously cute dog you have on your avatar.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence