More proof of God's existence (or, argumentum ad baseball)
Offline The Tampa Bay Devil Rays began as an American League expansion team in 1998. They finished last in the AL East every year except 2004 (finishing 2nd to last), never playing above .500, and often playing well below.
However, at the beginning of the 2008 season, the team's name was officially changed to the Tampa Bay Rays. Lo and behold, they currently lead the AL East by 3 games, one of the most perennially competitive divisions in the majors (home to both the Yankees and the Red Sox).
Skeptics may say that the acquisition of young up-and-comers such as Evan Longoria combined with sound management and fundamental coaching resulted in this historic turnaround, but the name change says it all--they got rid of the "Devil", and they're far and away playing the best baseball in franchise history.
To add insult to injury, consider the AL West: the LA Angels have the best record in baseball by 3 games, and they currently lead their division by a hefty 12.5 games. Hello, "Angels"?
The implications couldn't be more obvious: God is real, and he's just as sick of the Yankees as everyone else.
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"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.
...wait... baseball still exists?
*quickly scribbles ''baseball'' into the long list of things i wish to destroy when im overlord of earth*
What Would Kharn Do?
It's still a long way to October.
Nobody I know was brainwashed into being an atheist.
Why Believe?
Sounds made up...
Agnostic Atheist
No, I am not angry at your imaginary friends or enemies.
Well, it's not an exact science just yet.
awh... yer just sayin that cause my minions are pointin guns at yer head ^_^
What Would Kharn Do?
Boy oh boy howdy, sure hope you didn't just offer up the kiss of death for the Rays and Angels. Those Tampa fans have been mighty patient waiting for a baseball playoff game.
You could be right though. Maybe god has taken the Angels and Tampa under his watch while he ignores the less serious problems going on in the world. You know, the problems that exist and don't seem to be going away.
OR.....
Maybe he just suddenly converted to baseless-ism errr...I mean, baseballism and he loves the game so much.
Apparently, he needs to be introduced to the game of hockey cause some team out of New Jersey took the Stanley Cup in 1995, 2000 and 2003.
QED!
That was awesome.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence
I, for one, welcome our new baseball-destroying overlord.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence
This has nothing to do with baseball, but:
While you're at it, could you destroy the use of "impacts" in place of "affects," everyone who thinks Starbucks makes good coffee, and Shari Lewis? I know she died a decade ago, but if you could just simply retroactively destroy her, and maybe Bennie Hill while you're at it, I'd be truly grateful. Not that gratitude is worth much.
"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers
As the benevolent tyrant that i am... i like to not only grant my peons wish, but even allow them choices from time to time...
I could destroy Websters dictionary... would that suffice?
I could destroy everyone who thinks Starbucks makes good coffee... or... I could destroy everyone who thinks Starbucks makes good coffee AND Starbucks itself. Your choice ^_^
Never heard of her, consider the corpse... uh... re-deadified?
I shall only ever grant you 1 Bennie kill...
Bennie Hill, or Bennie Hin, choose wisely -_-
What Would Kharn Do?
So what do you make of the years that the Angel's toiled in obscurity? They were so bad Disney made a movie playing on the teams name. Or was it simply that they were the "California Angels" and god wouldn't acknowledge there struggle until they disassociated with (at least in name) the state of fruits and queers?
"Faith, Faith is an island in the setting sun,
but proof, proof is the bottom line for everyone."
Proof, Paul Simon
Nothing this hard should taste so beefy.
Brief hijack. Where can you go to find a consistently "good" cup of coffee? I doubt it's the best, but as of yet I haven't found anything so much better as to make Starbucks quality worthy of derision. It certainly kicks the shit out of the swill that everyone who thinks a drip coffee at Starbucks costs $4 drinks.
"Faith, Faith is an island in the setting sun,
but proof, proof is the bottom line for everyone."
Proof, Paul Simon
Nothing this hard should taste so beefy.
You can have my bat and baseball when you pry it out of my cold dead hands.
That's easy. Bennie Hill. Bennie Hin is funny.
"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers
Oh no need to worry, i wont bother seperating your toys from your arms... when i seperate THEM from your body ^_^
What Would Kharn Do?
So who finished last in 2004? The Jays. (I had to look it up; I don't even know who the Jays are.)
What does J stand for? Jesus.
Draw your own conclusions.
"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers
Jay= Blue Jay (Bird)
Canadian
and thus my conclussion is, they suck at baseball
What Would Kharn Do?
Great, then all I would be able to play is soccer. Dang it!
The Rev-eh-RAND JEFF- REEK will now spee-ah-k whilst waving the ultimate in holy books, the official MLB stats.ca. Can I hear an eh-man for the holy book?
(choir) Eh-man, eh?
I want to heee-ah an AMEN from alllllllll the bretheren and the sisteren of the baseball world.
(choir) Eh-men, eh? (shrug)
Close enough my fellow blue Jay fanatics. Can I draw you wisdom to the open-in day, I be speach-in of Aper-ellll, of 19 and 93, 19 and 94 and 19 and 95; and I ask this question of the true believers. To you brothers and sisters and those who can go eather way. Who were the defending World Champions Of Baseball..........of all of baseball.
(choir) Let's go Blue Jays, Toronto Blue jays, eh?
Under our Lord savior he-self Cito Gaston he self the first black manager to win not one but two world series rings, and the savior Cito Gaston has returned to manage our most beloved Blue Jays as of July 1,2008 can I hears an eh-man for the return of our savior?
(choir) eh-men, eh? (shrug)
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
So I asked for perfect health and that was granted.
Then I asked for unspendable wealth and that was granted.
Then, thinking along the same lines as you were, I asked that all folks who liked Starbucks coffee be removed from the Earth.
And my health and wealth wishes were stricken.
In my anger, I asked what was so impossible about my last wish. The genie answered that no one likes Starbucks Coffee, it's just that they all think they're the only one who hates it, and are afraid of being singled out as weird.
True story, you know, just like the stations of the cross story.
"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray
Back before the Red Sox won their first series in, what was that... 80 something years... I was thinking that I would pretty much believe in the supernatural (curses, etc...) if the Red Sox and Cubs were scheduled to play in the world series, but their planes collided in mid-air, adding irony and tragedy to their respective curses.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
That's funny
Vote for McCain... www.therealmccain.com ...and he'll bring Jesus back
I'd like to second all of the above. Seriously, we need to reserve "impact" as a verb for giant asteroids only. That way, the odd use of the word as a verb will cause us the alarm we need to experience when a giant asteroid is coming right for us. Otherwise, it makes you sound like you have a business degree.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence
"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray
See how many options there are? My favourite business expressions are "On a go-forward basis" (which just means "in the future" or "from now on" for those of you who only speak English) and "speak to", which means "talk about" or "address". There's also the use of "myself" when one means "I" or "me", like "John, Mary and myself went to the store." or the even more offensive "Myself, John and Mary went to the store."
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence