Stupidest things you did as a kid.
Posted on: August 2, 2008 - 5:48am
Offline
Stupidest things you did as a kid.
his happened in kindergarten:
My mom would sometimes accidentally say the F word in front of, so of course I picked it up and would start saying it in school...my mom told me not to say that word anymore
So the next day my mom came to pick me up from school...I ran up to her in front of every and said...MOMMY MOMMY GUESS WHAT?! I DIDN'T SAY FUCK TODAY!!!!
Another time in third grade I stapled my thumb to see how badly it hurt.....it's actually not that bad.
"Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a religion, and he'll starve to death praying for fish." - Anonymous
"If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you." -Anonymous
- Login to post comments
One time, I set up a 3' trampoline near a 14' one. I tried to jump from the little one to the big one. When I ran towards it and started my jump, I slipped on a piece of ice, flew over the small trampoline, and hit the metal leg of the other one crotch-first.
Stultior stulto fuisti, qui tabellis crederes!
In a nursery school, there was a celebration of something and kids were supposed to find their grandparent in a row of them and hug him/her. I hugged a gramp who was not mine.
Beings who deserve worship don't demand it. Beings who demand worship don't deserve it.
So how much did you win on funniest home videos?
Organised religion is the ultimate form of blasphemy.
Censored and blacked out for internet access in ANZ!
AU: http://nocleanfeed.com/ | NZ: http://nzblackout.org/
Outdone by what you've done as an adult, as evidenced on this site.
Organised religion is the ultimate form of blasphemy.
Censored and blacked out for internet access in ANZ!
AU: http://nocleanfeed.com/ | NZ: http://nzblackout.org/
Stupidest thing I did as a child ? ......be born into a family that was devoutly religious.
( also, in 7'th grade wood shop class, sliced off tip of left index finger with band saw. At age 15, drinking and driving with two friends. Car left road at over 60 mph, rolled repeatedly and was totaled. Thankfully no one killed though )
I don't know how many stupid things I've done, but there is this one time when I and two of my friends came 2 minutes late to our music class, and the door was already locked so we had to wait. But neither I nor any of my friends were especially good at that, so we decided to climb up on the roof via a fence that stood just by the barracks. When we finally got ready to go down, I realized that the fence was wet, and though both my friends had already climbed down without any problems, I didn't dare to do it for fear of slippering. So, young and dumb as I was, I decided to jump for it. I took a few steps back to get a running start - after all, that's how all the cool heroes on TV would've done it - and went for it, ignoring the warnings from my friends.
I got off with a little pain in my left heel for a couple of days, so nothing serious.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy."
Stupidest thing as a kid... 16 years old, fake ID, out to the bars, drinking all night and driving home...
As a small child I remember putting my finger in a light socket...then I remember many minutes later calming down after crying quite a bit...
At the age of 7 or 8 I remember walking to a strangers car in hopes of the helium balloons he said he had there for me...
Slowly building a blog at ~
http://obsidianwords.wordpress.com/
I tended to blurt things out as a kid. When I was about 3 I once called my mom a "dumb prick." Another time I did something and she called me a "son of a bitch." Let's just say I pointed out what the logical implications of that would be to her. Another time in the store when I was maybe 5 she was telling me to come - I couldn't because there were all these people in the way. She kept telling me to come I finally yelled "I can't, all these son of a bitches are in the way." In 2nd grade there was a suggestion box in the school. I wrote "blow up the fucken school" on a piece of paper and put it in. The next week the box was gone.
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
Other than disagree with my mother, who is always right, especially when she's wrong, I suppose the most stupid thing I did as a kid was jump from the top of our playhouse on a dare. I ended up with a sprained ankle as a result. I also am told I had tried to climb up to a window sill in the old bathroom of the family home using the tub as a prop. I still have a small scar from that on my forehead. That one happened when I was a toddler.
Vote for McCain... www.therealmccain.com ...and he'll bring Jesus back
When I was 14 or 15 I was an altar boy in a Lutheran Church not Catholic at this point, I tried them later, so I was fairly safe from the minister. One of my friends and I kept a Playboy in the backroom just off the rectory and not 20 feet from the altar. We hid it behind a cabinet, he'd leave it there for me as he did the first service and I did the second. We did this for a year or so until one day it was gone. The next Sunday the minister did a sermon on the evils of pornography holding up the missing magazine. He never mentioned it to us directly as we both acted like complete angels around the church. Though since we both rode motorcycles and smoked cigarettes outside the back door I'm sure he suspected us.
____________________________________________________________
"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.
you consider that stupid?
Vote for McCain... www.therealmccain.com ...and he'll bring Jesus back
When I was about sixteen my friend and I went into a gun shop to look around. Being the comic genious that I am, I thought it would be hilarious to put my hand in my coat pocket in the shape of a gun and jokingly hold them up. Because who's dumb enough to rob a gun store? I walked up to the counter and doing my best Butthead impression said "Uhhhh....this is a stick up." Without missing a beat the clerk replied "Uhhhh....get the hell out of my store."
"Faith, Faith is an island in the setting sun,
but proof, proof is the bottom line for everyone."
Proof, Paul Simon
Nothing this hard should taste so beefy.
Or setting off firecrackers right in front of a police station using a delayed fuse when I was 12. This brought out a dozen cops with guns drawn. We were across the street so we could watch their reaction. They didn't catch us.
____________________________________________________________
"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.
I shot out all the windows to my cousins mustang when I was 6 or 7. My cousin dared me to do it. Worst ass beating of my life.
When once asked in the library if I believed in Jesus Christ, I pointed out that zombie novels are in the fiction section.
well last night after making my way through over a liter of 70 proof Kahlua at a mate's 21st, I decided to help him with his yard glass of rum and coke as he was having trouble getting stuck into it. A decent skulling back of the stuff and I was pretty well fucked, I'm still feeling sick from it. Rum has never agreed with me.
as a kid though, probably would have to be the constant fighting with my brother. we used to get pretty serious and I remember hitting my brother with a heavy chain in one fight and another where he tried to flip me over his shoulder but ended up fracturing my hand. other times include setting fire to things in my back yard when my school was having a teachers only day. I had a couple of mates over and once we ran out of things to light, we decided to go back inside, but I took the route of climbing through my bedroom window in a black jacket with a hood over my head and had a canine police unit show up thinking I was robbing the place. I thought they were there 'cause of my setting things on fire and I got in a whole load of trouble when my mom got home. one other thing was when I was 12 and got caught with a large bottle of mississippi moonshine with some mates outside of school. we all got in trouble 'cause we were still in our school uniforms and that was another whole shitstorm that lasted about a week.
When god gives you lemons you FIND A NEW GOD 1 Thessalonians 5:21
<My art> <not my art><MS>
Around age 13 I helped light a huge Palm Tree on fire, not realizing animals lived there. I AM still so sorry. Damn me .... I'll never get over this guilt .... God never forgets .... Birds on Fire ....
Atheism Books.
At the age of 4 I thought it'd fun to play on some wet railings on top of a cobbled-stone hill. One thing leads to another and I shatter my right arm and cut open my head...
7 years old I hold my fingers in a door frame and dare my brother to slam it shut. He does and I lose the nail on my middle finger...
That's all I can think of now. I'm sure there's tonnes more that's probably dumber and more embarrassing.
M
Forget Jesus, the stars died so that you could be here
- Lawrence Krauss
OH no!
Don't feel too bad, you could look at it this way: If the birds wanted to survive, they would have flown away!
The other animals though....
I still love you though IAGAY!
Slowly building a blog at ~
http://obsidianwords.wordpress.com/
i have many moments of incredible stupidity...
but this one came out of left field...
A ro-sham-bo drinking game... with paint-ball guns -_-
What Would Kharn Do?
Thanks Renee, love you too, but them poor birds didn't know better, as it was night time , and they won't fly .... and ignorant me is no excuse , and besides, that cool tree didn't deserve it either .... damn me ....
Atheism Books.
I admire your kindness toward animals. I am an animal lover, too.
I accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour and was baptised from peer pressure.
"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci
Don't feel bad, Watcher. I think lots of us did that same stupid thing. In my world, we were even encouraged to 're-up' that jesus-in-your-heart thing from time to time!
But really, one thing I did was pretty dumb...and I learned a valuable lesson from the whole deal:
Age ~6. Thanksgiving. Cousins, aunts, uncles...all came to our house for the feasting. At some point during the day, we all headed to the YMCA. In the racquetball court, I wanted the racket my cousin had...so I grabbed it and tried to pull it out of her hands. Back and forth we were pulling. Then. She let go. I whacked the SHIT out of my forehead and had to get stitches. Good times.
Some of my best ones come from when I was really young (and one that isn't my own).
I didn't believe my parents when they said that I would die if I stuck my finger in the socket, so I tried... but my finger was too big. So I half plugged in a lamp and touched the metal. I was 4 or so, so I decided that since it hurt a bit I really should cry a little, but my hear wasn't in it.
One of my earliest memories is playing hide-and-seek at my mother's family's house during a party, and how I came up with the best place ever to hide: under a woman's long dress between her feet. I still say that nobody would have ever found me there!
My older brother was watching our mother paying for groceries with cash once and must have been impressed, because he practically shouted "Wow, what you do, rob a bank?!"
And, probably my favorite, that same brother and I were peeing in the toilet (same time of course, what brothers close in age didn't do that?) when I thought it would be funny if I peed in his mouth. I'll never forget the incredulous expression on his face, nor the ass-whooping I got from my father two minutes later.
Now, as for some of the juicier ones later on in life, I'm pretty sure not all of you are old enough to hear these
"But still I am the Cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to me!" ~Rudyard Kipling
Mazid the Raider says: I'd rather face the naked truth than to go "augh, dude, put some clothes on or something" and hand him some God robes, cause you and I know that the naked truth is pale, hairy, and has an outie
Entomophila says: Ew. AN outie
I've been told that about the age of 2/3 I actually ate dog shit thinking it was chocolate. Apparently something similar also happened with glass. I wish to point out that I absolutely do not remember this.
Atheist Books
When I was 3 we were at a wedding reception when my older brother dared me to touch what I thought looked like a big paper mache face in a hedge. I figured out, after poking it and watching the hornets boil out and straight at my face, that it wasn't something I wanted to touch after all.
"But still I am the Cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to me!" ~Rudyard Kipling
Mazid the Raider says: I'd rather face the naked truth than to go "augh, dude, put some clothes on or something" and hand him some God robes, cause you and I know that the naked truth is pale, hairy, and has an outie
Entomophila says: Ew. AN outie
Fucking hell. That sounds awful!! A wasps nest would be bad enough but fucking hornets man! Jeezuss!
Atheist Books
In 5th or 6th grade, a couple of my friends and myself used to jump off of this bridge by our school...onto land, not the water. Still have the scar on my hand where that piece of glass decided to attack me when I landed on it.
Well when i was bout 4 or 5 i decide to run around our yard with 2 sticks up next to my head pretending to be a reindeer.(it was winter time btw) and for some reason my cousins friend was riding a bike, well she rode by me bu one of the sticks was sticking out just far enough that she bumped it. Next thing I know the stick is in my head and I'm Crying like there was no tomorrow, (i don't remember anything after that, everything after this is from my mothers mouth). Apparently by the time I got to the house i had broken the stick off so there was no was to get it out at that moment. Well, i didn't get surgery for about 6 months and when i did get it they had to drill a hole above my ear and go down into my ear canal from above. To this day when any sound gets to a high enough decibel i can hear a buzz sound in that ear and it is really annoying...
That was by far the stupidest thing i have ever done.
I'm still young so I have enough stories still fresh in my mind to fill several pages. But here's just a few:
When I was real little, I ran down a dark hall in the middle of the night towards my parent's room after a bad dream. Smashed my face into a banister, split my lip open. I guess I was lucky though, because hitting the banister meant I was inches from just falling down the stairs.
I once set a flaming smiley face alight on the garage floor. Also have set my arm on fire. And the dashboard of my friend's truck(that was a fun one).
Jumped off of buildings into snow drifts during blizzards.
Stabbed a pencil into my own leg on accident.
Spit on a *very* drunk friend's head from a roof, then told her it was Jesus in a mystical-sounding voice. She believed it, too.
Off-road bumper surfing. 'Nuff said.
(edit):with the exeption of the spitting jesus, this is just the stuff me and my friends have done sober. Drug/alcohol-induced activities begin to leave stupid and enter the Twighlight Zone..........
"We are the star things harvesting the star energy"
-Carl Sagan
When I was 7 my parents invited all the neighbours round for a barbecuem. Me and some of the other kids were in the back room. In those days we had a sofa in there that was just in front of the window. I was playing with toy dinosaurs with the other kids and I was stood behind the sofa. Somehow I slipped and banged the back of my head on the windowsil, the force of which made me bite right through my bottom lip. To this day I have two scars, one just beneath my lip on the outside and one on the inside.
When I was 16, I went on holiday to Spain with my family and some other families. One day I went go-karting with one of the other families (because mine had gone out while I was still nursing a hangover). Anyway, health and safety isn't as big an issue in Spain. I was doing fine getting round the track without having to use the dodgy breaks at corners, until I lost control and hurtled off the track towards a wire fence, in my panic I tried to use the breaks (which didn't work) and forgot to take my other foot off the accelerator. The last few seconds are a blur, but I found myself again on the otherside of the fence a few seconds later. I had two massive gashes one down each arm and my neck was very sore. The marks from both gashes could be seen for nearly two years, but unfortunately there was very little scarring. What had obviously happened was the the fence was loose at the bottom and the impact had pushed it up letting the kart through but catching my arms and pushing my head (I had a helmet on fortunately) backwards.
Atheist Books
Smartest thing you did as a kid ?
I figured out how to masterbate ... I do remember the first time, it freaked me out a little, then I begin to like it , then I did a real girl ! So amazing it all was , still is ....
Atheism Books.
In Kindergarten I told all the other kids that Santa wasn't real and that Christmas wasn't christian but pagan. I had to spend 9 years with those same few kids in a rural school. Very dumb idea.
(Of course I was also telling them that they needed to go to my church or be considered on the side of satan. That probably didn't help any.)
"I am that I am." - Proof that the writers of the bible were beyond stoned.
Technically you were right (except the part about going to your church. )
Wait...Santa isn't real?