The Definitive Proof of the Existence of God

aristopus111
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The Definitive Proof of the Existence of God

Hello, Please, allow me to introduce myself. Richard Goscicki (Aristopus) and I’ve been an atheist writer longer than I care to remember. In fact, a long time ago in high school in Brooklyn, I once debated Rudy Giuliani about the existence of God. No bull.

In my book Mirror Reversal I offer incontrovertible evidence that God exists. I defy any RRS reader to refute this ultimate proof that the Grand Designer reigns on high.

To wit: (the malapropisms are intentional)

    Wayne pulled his chair around to face Josh. “Gimme that ole time religion, right Josh” sang Wayne, with a forced smile. “He can keep all that evolution garbage. I mean…” he paused to think of a good rubric to help explain things to his less educated employee. “Let’s say you’re walking in the middle of the Arizona Desert. You’re just walking along daydreamin’, and all of a sudden you come across this elegant, diamond-studded wristwatch – one of those Malvados or Carters. So you pick it up and look at it. Inspect it, sort of… It’s pretty evident that it didn’t get there by itself, right? I mean… the sand and rocks couldn’t just conglomerate and form this beautiful object dart all by itself. Somebody had to put it there. Somebody had to make the fuckin’ thing, right? It’s the same way with human beans. There has to be a Great Designer.”

     He smiled again, this time pleased with the eloquence of his argumentation. He thought of another example, a better one to explain to Josh, because it dealt with the birds and the bees. “Or take sex. Here’s another good example: Let’s say you meet this chick. And you really dig ‘er. And you fall in love with the bitch. So you decide to get married and have a family, like the Good Book says you should. So you stick your dick in, and it feels real good in there, right? And you wiggle it all about in there. And the more you wiggle it, the better it feels. And then… nine months later a baby plops out! I mean… what more proof d’ya need there’s a God. That’s literally a fuckin’ miracle!”

    Josh nodded in complete agreement. Rev. Passwater couldn’t have explained it better.

Copyright, Mirror Reversal (Peppertree Press, 2007)

What a cruel ironic cosmic joke! Books written by goat herders and fishermen, determining the destiny of mankind and the entire planet.” Mirror Reversal, Rich Goscicki


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I've found that it's getting

I've found that it's getting harder these days to offend a lot of Christians simply by mentioning sex.  It's a damn shame.  I long for the days when I could just whisper, "Jesus had a penis.  It got hard,"  to passing Christians and watch them flee in abject terror.  It warms my heart to see anything that makes fun of them and scares them with sex all at once.

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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I'm confused, are you taking

I'm confused, are you taking the piss out of the God concept or seriously trying to present a watchmaker argument to the RRS forums?


Hambydammit
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psst...aristopus111

psst...

aristopus111 wrote:
I’ve been an atheist writer longer than I care to remember. In fact, a long time ago in high school in Brooklyn, I once debated Rudy Giuliani about the existence of God. No bull.

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism


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aristopus111 wrote:"And the

aristopus111 wrote:

"And the more you wiggle it, the better it feels. And then… nine months later a baby plops out! I mean… what more proof d’ya need there’s a God. That’s literally a fuckin’ miracle!”

Wow. Babies are miracles. God bless 'em.

There's a whole lot of water-headed idiots spreadin' their miraculous seed, it seems. I reckon the world could do without so many miracles.

Hey, all you science-minded folks! How cum science hasn't explained 200,000 miracles a day? Huh? Science can't even explain reproduction!

Wazzat? Oh. It can?

Never mind.

"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers


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Good Stuff. I'll be at

Good Stuff. I'll be at Amazon looking for your book.


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I always thought it was

I always thought it was funny when people say, "The miracle of child birth." Oh yeah, currently there's, what, over 5 billion examples of that child birth miracle.

Maybe my idea of what would qualify as a miracle is different or how often something happens to be considered a miracle is way off.

 


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We're all "human beans"

I'm with ya, Nigel.  And it should be noted that we're talking about human babies only, not the animals because they don't have a soul.  Always remember, "the more voices lifted in prayer, the more pleasing it is to God."

 Quote from Mirror Reversal.  No bull.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What a cruel ironic cosmic joke! Books written by goat herders and fishermen, determining the destiny of mankind and the entire planet.” Mirror Reversal, Rich Goscicki


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Thanks

Thanks, Cali, for your support.

I'd be glad to answer any questions you might have concerning the contents of MR.  If you're into Dawkins' The Selfish Gene , that'll help.  Mirror Reversal is an allegory of the theory, just as Lord of the Flies was based on Freud's psychoanalytic theory.  Each character represents a gene that flips (the reversal).  Doves become hawks, and chaste modest ladies become 'hoes.

Left Behind is a series of six books that sold over 36 million copies.  Non-believers should support writers in the same way.  The trouble is, just because we don't believe in Zeus, that doesn't mean we have anything else in common—unlike religionists that worship together and pray together.

What a cruel ironic cosmic joke! Books written by goat herders and fishermen, determining the destiny of mankind and the entire planet.” Mirror Reversal, Rich Goscicki


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snooze?

aristopus111 wrote:

Hello, Please, allow me to introduce myself. Richard Goscicki (Aristopus) and I’ve been an atheist writer longer than I care to remember. In fact, a long time ago in high school in Brooklyn, I once debated Rudy Giuliani about the existence of God. No bull.

In my book Mirror Reversal I offer incontrovertible evidence that God exists. I defy any RRS reader to refute this ultimate proof that the Grand Designer reigns on high.

To wit: (the malapropisms are intentional)

    Wayne pulled his chair around to face Josh. “Gimme that ole time religion, right Josh” sang Wayne, with a forced smile. “He can keep all that evolution garbage. I mean…” he paused to think of a good rubric to help explain things to his less educated employee. “Let’s say you’re walking in the middle of the Arizona Desert. You’re just walking along daydreamin’, and all of a sudden you come across this elegant, diamond-studded wristwatch – one of those Malvados or Carters. So you pick it up and look at it. Inspect it, sort of… It’s pretty evident that it didn’t get there by itself, right? I mean… the sand and rocks couldn’t just conglomerate and form this beautiful object dart all by itself. Somebody had to put it there. Somebody had to make the fuckin’ thing, right? It’s the same way with human beans. There has to be a Great Designer.”

     He smiled again, this time pleased with the eloquence of his argumentation. He thought of another example, a better one to explain to Josh, because it dealt with the birds and the bees. “Or take sex. Here’s another good example: Let’s say you meet this chick. And you really dig ‘er. And you fall in love with the bitch. So you decide to get married and have a family, like the Good Book says you should. So you stick your dick in, and it feels real good in there, right? And you wiggle it all about in there. And the more you wiggle it, the better it feels. And then… nine months later a baby plops out! I mean… what more proof d’ya need there’s a God. That’s literally a fuckin’ miracle!”

    Josh nodded in complete agreement. Rev. Passwater couldn’t have explained it better.

Copyright, Mirror Reversal (Peppertree Press, 2007)

 

Oh good grief.  Apparently you were not an atheist writer of note.

I do hope the above was satire.  As argument for a god it's rather weak.

I.e. please tell me I missed the joke.

 

BTW... Looking for God to surprise me.

Something that I can say... Hey, that's God over there...

No natural cause, no mention of the universe necessary.

 

WAPOS, such humans as you are.

Deliberately passing on lies.  A human would be ashamed and a

socialized human might even refrain.

tq


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netjaeger wrote:I.e. please

netjaeger wrote:
I.e. please tell me I missed the joke.
You did, sorry.


 


jmm
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aristopus111 wrote:human

aristopus111 wrote:

human beans


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aristopus111 wrote:Thanks,

aristopus111 wrote:

Thanks, Cali, for your support.

I'd be glad to answer any questions you might have concerning the contents of MR.  If you're into Dawkins' The Selfish Gene , that'll help.  Mirror Reversal is an allegory of the theory, just as Lord of the Flies was based on Freud's psychoanalytic theory.  Each character represents a gene that flips (the reversal).  Doves become hawks, and chaste modest ladies become 'hoes.

Left Behind is a series of six books that sold over 36 million copies.  Non-believers should support writers in the same way.  The trouble is, just because we don't believe in Zeus, that doesn't mean we have anything else in common—unlike religionists that worship together and pray together.

There's a whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooole lot more than six books in the Left Behind series].  It's a cash cow for Tim and Jerry.

"The whole conception of God is a conception derived from ancient Oriental despotisms. It is a conception quite unworthy of free men."
--Bertrand Russell


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JillSwift wrote:netjaeger

JillSwift wrote:

netjaeger wrote:
I.e. please tell me I missed the joke.
You did, sorry.


 

 

 

Don't feel too bad though... I missed it at first as well.  I wasn't sure if by "Atheist writer" he meant somebody who wrote about atheists or an atheist who writes.

Sorry about that, OP!


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MOI?

 

netjaeger wrote:

I do hope the above was satire.  As argument for a god it's rather weak.

I.e. please tell me I missed the joke.

 You compliment my writing skills that I could portray Wayne so skillfully that you believed such nonsensical argumentation.  Bible thumpers don't tend to be the brightest people in the world but at least they don't sniff glue.  I protrayed Wayne to be a red neck, narror-minded bully and the above was he way he thinks. 

 

That's what happens when one takes material out of context, but at least we can have some fun with it.  That's what it's all about.  A theme of MR is when we realize that the God delusion is just that, a ploy of the powerful to subdue and control the weak, then we can realize how wonderful this life is and have fun.

 

What a cruel ironic cosmic joke! Books written by goat herders and fishermen, determining the destiny of mankind and the entire planet.” Mirror Reversal, Rich Goscicki


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aristopus111 wrote:netjaeger

aristopus111 wrote:

netjaeger wrote:

I do hope the above was satire.  As argument for a god it's rather weak.

I.e. please tell me I missed the joke.

 You compliment my writing skills that I could portray Wayne so skillfully that you believed such nonsensical argumentation.  Bible thumpers don't tend to be the brightest people in the world but at least they don't sniff glue.  I protrayed Wayne to be a red neck, narror-minded bully and the above was he way he thinks. 

That's what happens when one takes material out of context, but at least we can have some fun with it.  That's what it's all about.  A theme of MR is when we realize that the God delusion is just that, a ploy of the powerful to subdue and control the weak, then we can realize how wonderful this life is and have fun.

Amen to that, Brotha.

"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers


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A thought

http://dreamwalkergroup.com/dreamscene/2008_august.htm

 

Thanks everyone for the interesting and fun replies. 

f you enjoy "my read," the above is a story of a night in jail for DUI about 12 years ago.  It's about the plight of the individual in a totalitarian state (when you're in jail totalitarian is le mot juste, believe me.)   

If you're into the surrealist genius, Franz Kafka, I asked "what would it be like if K got busted for DUI in modern-day America?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What a cruel ironic cosmic joke! Books written by goat herders and fishermen, determining the destiny of mankind and the entire planet.” Mirror Reversal, Rich Goscicki


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Proof that God Exists

That's right "human beans."  Humanity has to stop looking at itself with imagined self importance.  A costly and perhaps fatal delusion.

We're human beans, all right.  Bundle of protein and little more.

 

Aristopus

 

Check out my new website,