the promise keepers: evangelical, misogynistic, repressed homosexual douchebags
Offline if you're not familiar with the promise keepers, they're not anything special. just another weirdo evangelical group talking about "reclaiming manhood" or some bullshit like that. still, i found this article today and i had to share it. it's seldom that i laugh out loud while reading but i was laughing almost the whole time with this.
http://www.sfweekly.com/2005-11-16/news/the-manly-men-of-god/1
"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson
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Sounds like my idea of hell. I don't like that kind of manly man even on their own. But a whole fucking stadium of them - just THEM - worshipping a fictional sky-daddy. It chills me to the bone, actually chills me to the bone. Don't get me wrong, I like going to sporting events, particularly football (soccer) and chanting, drinking and hurling abuse at the referee, but this takes it to a whole new level!!
Atheist Books
yeah, these guys just reek of being sexually confused mama's boys whose fathers never paid much attention to them. i'm sure they get a guilty thrill out of going to each other's homes, watching braveheart, farting as loudly as possible, then crying on each other's shoulders.
"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson
The part that amazes me is that the crowd didn't seem to detect the poser who wrote the article. I mean, come on: endless random high-fives, irrelevant usages of the phrase "End Times;" quoting a Journey song in a prayer session...and nobody else was wise to what this guy was doing? Didn't they even bother to read his "signature?" Just how dense are these people, anyway?
Conor
They are a bunch of asshats. They do the same with their daughters.
hold it right there, buddy! the irrelevant phrase was "evil days, evil days." that cracked the shit out of me! i've been saying that all day. "evil days, evil days." my wife thinks i'm nuts.
seriously, though, i'm not shocked at all. i used to be around some evangelical groups when i was in college and the guys in those things were all ridiculous drones. if anything, he would have been praised for his enthusiasm. at worst, he would have been looked on as a little eccentric. the high-fiving, wooing, patriotism, sports partisanship--trust me, it all happens. along with a lot of ass-smacking. i am not joking. i've never seen so much ass smacked as in a group of evangelical guys.
as for the journey lyrics, it seems he was around mostly middle-aged christian guys, who may have listened to journey in the distant past but have long since banished secular music from their minds and only listen to the newsboys, the gaithers, or something in-between, depending on where they are on the age spectrum.
"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson
"We're the manly men of god" makes me laugh my ass off for some reason. Picture them walking into a bar full of bikers and announcing that!
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
evil days, evil days.
In one sense, I'm happy for you that you've never had to hang out with people who would believe that shit without reservation. I've met guys just like this, and they never cease to amaze me.
You don't want to know. I mean that.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence
They're men, they're men in tights.
They roam around the city looking for fights.
They're men, they're men in tights.
They work like they're poor and shop at the mall, that's right!
They may look like sissies, but watch what you say or else they'll put out your lights!
They're men, they're men in tights,
Always on guard defending the religious right.
(Bet no one catches that reference.)
"Anyone can repress a woman, but you need 'dictated' scriptures to feel you're really right in repressing her. In the same way, homophobes thrive everywhere. But you must feel you've got scripture on your side to come up with the tedious 'Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve' style arguments instead of just recognising that some people are different." - Douglas Murray
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
1.Okay, okay, you got me on the "evil days" quote. What can I say? Sometimes I do things off the cuff (...like everyone here hasn't seen evidence of this from me, from time to time...) and I sometimes get the details wrong. Obviously, you knew what I meant. You'd think I would do a better job of giving attention to detail, what with all that time in the military. Ah, well...
2. Even before reading this, I *was* aware that evangelicals are often not exactly intellectual giants, but even so, I guess I expected a *little* better than what I saw in that article. I guess that's what I get for having expectations.
3. Wait a minute...*ass-smacking* happens in *evangelical* *church* groups? I've got to admit: this is a new one on me. The other stuff doesn't surprise me; as a Catholic, I was a part of a Catholic Charismatic group for a while, and they did hugging, frequently. High-fives were not necessarily used, but nobody would have objected to a little of that, I think. I'm just surprised that nobody noticed that something secular (like a high-five) was used by this guy a lot, whereas the phrases so common to evangelicalism were not used at all. (The other stuff I've got no problem believing you on; but I don't think it happens in quite the same way in Catholic Charismatic circles.)
4. The signature thing still gets me. How could any church group miss someone using the phrase "Satan's Big Cock" as a signature? I thought that these were people who paid meticulous attention to Disney films in order to ferret out inappropriate messages that I would probably have totally missed. (A lot obviously depends on what you're looking for, I guess.)
Hmmm...looks like I'm getting used to being an atheist. I'm starting to have what seems to me to be very much like culture shock, in dealing with...a form of Christianity. Wow.
Conor
P.S.: How do you pronounce "Iwbiek," and where do you get it?
""We're the manly men of god" makes me laugh my ass off for some reason. Picture them walking into a bar full of bikers and announcing that!"
My $0.02: I'd pay to see that!
Conor
"In one sense, I'm happy for you that you've never had to hang out with people who would believe that shit without reservation."
My $0.02: Well...maybe not "never"...but your point is taken. I *did* grow up in different religious circles.
HisWillness also wrote: "I've met guys just like this, and they never cease to amaze me."
Me: Of that, Will, I have no doubt.
Conor
...I did catch your reference to "Robin Hood: Men In Tights." Obviously Jeffrick posted before I did, but I loved that movie when it came out.
As for the closet running deep...well...I haven't found a better explanation, yet.
WE'RE BUTCH!
Conor
...*I* was supposed to supply the answer! How dare you jump in before I got a chance to reply?
Seriously, though, it was a good movie. I'm glad to see that there are other Mel Brooks fans, here.
Conor
These "Promise Keepers" is how the Village People got started.
Macho Macho Man
I want to be a Macho Man
Macho Macho Man
I want to be Macho!!
Frosty's coming back someday. Will you be ready?
I did the Promise Keepers events a couple of times (when I was doing the serious christian thing). Still made me nervous in the not wanting to be groped by guys way.
I'm surprised they haven't collapsed under financial pressures yet. they haven't been able to break even in any of their stadium events for years (even at $89/ticket).
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin