Lol.
God's running out of time. He waits much longer and we'll have colonies on Mars and Luna. What then? Nothing in the entire collective works of christianity mentions more than Earth. Would Martians be safe?

Oh, come on, man! Everyone knows the Earth was *made* just for humans. There aren't any other planets "in the zone" to support life. What's the point of colonizing other worlds?

[/sarcasm]

Nuke god!

Well, not all Christians believe in a secret rapture, seven year tribulation, anti Christ, et cetera.  Those theory's were actually recently popularized by a guy named John Nelson Darby, in the 1800's, along with the Plymouth Brethren.  There is really no Scripture proof for an anti-Christ, secret rapture, or seven year tribulation. 

The story goes that in 1830, a 15 year old girl name Margaret McDonald supposedly had a vision, and this is when all the hoopla began.  Her "prophecies" were later incorporated into a salvational system.  This salvational system is called Dispensationalism and it's completely foreign to the church before Nelson.  For a more serious outlook on eschatology, you can study up on Amillennialism, or Postmillennialism.

Amillennialism (what I believe), means there wont be a literal 1000 year millennium of Jesus reigning on this earth.  When it comes to Jesus Second Coming, He is going to come back and immediately commence judgment.  There isn't going to be any disappearances, or warnings for anyone.  Jesus will just show up, and began the judgment and it'll be too late to take any action.  However, this might not happen for hundreds or maybe thousands of years. 

When it comes to things like the mark of the beast, Amillennialist believe every unbeliever already has the mark of the beast, and every believer already has God's mark. 

Postmillennialist believe the world is going to be Christianized, then Jesus will return basically after the whole earth is evangelized and the majority of the human population have become believers.

Dispensationalism became popular in America during the Great Awakening.  Most Christians don't research much, but rather, blindly believe what the Pastor says.  So the next time you encounter a Dispensationalist, maybe you can educate them on these things.  Most likely, they don't know that they are Dispensationalist, and haven't even heard of the term.

Well, at least your not totally retarded.

I'm sure you realize by now that the rest of us don't think the same way you do, so while it may seem obvious to you how such remarks are to be understood, we would appreciate some clarification.

Just so we can be sure we are not misunderstanding your point.

The prefered nomenclature is "full retard" and I would appreciate it if you would use that phrase. Otherwise, you offend my people.

OP:

They have to keep repeating it. They're not doing it for our sake boyo. They do it for the religious moderates. Those guys pretend to not have an opinion but are still moved by the same old threats laid down by the holy books.

So they're not calling you retarded... they're just set on "repeat" so the dumbasses out there don't forget who to be afraid of. Can't let them start "thinking". That's the devils mistress.

I automatically assumed Mr.Evil was god. I'm confused now.

Anyway, I was thinking the other day, christians will never admit the rapture ain't happening will they? It's been 2000 years, and they're as optimistic as ever.Talk about getting stood up.

Have you been reading my diary?

 I'm a theistic evolutionist, and so are many other Christians. Please consider this when you label us as scientifically-backwards.

OH!

I've been waiting for someone like you to come along.  Seriously!

I have questions for you.  Assuming you understand evolution relatively well, you understand that there really isn't a solid dividing line between species.  That is, all life is related, but with drift, mutation, and adaptation, some life gets so far away from other life that it can no longer reproduce with them, and we then draw lines of demarcation so that the textbooks will make sense.  Life is a continuum, not a set of discreet groups.

Also, you must understand (I hope) that there's no such thing as "the first human."  The evolution of man was a very, very gradual process, and only in reverse can we see that there is a big enough difference between two populations in the timeline to call them different species.  In other words, there was no point at which Homo whatever-the-most-recent-ancestor-turns-out-to-be-this-week popped out a completely human child.

I say all that to point out that the story of Adam and Eve is evolutionarily impossible.  This brings us to some pointed questions:

1) What of original sin?  Do you believe in it?  If so, who was the lucky bugger who, out of all the half a million years worth of ancestors, got chosen to do... whatever he (or she) was chosen to do, and cursed the rest of humanity for all eternity?

2) If original sin is a metaphor, what's it a metaphor for, and how does that line up with human evolution?

3) Who was the first human to get a soul?  Why didn't god mention any of this in the bible?  That Adam and Eve story is very misleading to us science geek types.

4) Assuming you know of the evolutionary origins of altruism (if you don't, I can recommend a slew of books for you) what justification do you have for God's decrees that "true morality™" is generally that which is completely opposed to the evolutionary origins of altruism?  Furthermore, how do you explain that Christian morality, as passed down historically and elucidated in the bible, actually defies the science of Game Theory?

5) How do you justify the Bible's stance on homosexuality when the science of evolution clearly shows it to be a normal part of natural selection throughout a large part of the animal kingdom?

6) What justification do you give for belief in an immortal, interactive soul when evolution and natural selection can account for all of the supposed "proofs" that people used before the discovery of DNA.

I'll appreciate it if you will number your answers so that I can keep track.  Thanks in advance!

FSMdammit are there any actual christians left or are they all atheists?

Some dufus challenged atheists to come here and pretend to be theists to prove something... I'm still not quite sure what it's supposed to prove.  Why would anyone think we wouldn't ridicule people who come in and say ridiculous things?

It's sort of like challenging a bunch of evolutionary biologists to go to an evolutionary biology conference, stand up in the middle of it, and demand equal time for Creationism.  Seems sort of silly to me.