Hi everyone,

This is my first post so I hope I'm not going too far but this is something that i've been thinking about.

I get Religious Emails from some people that I know and some unsolicited and I wonder how many other people in here get them and what your thoughts are about them? This is my observation about them;

I too receive religious Emails from various friends and some unknown people. Some take the form of cutesy feel good inspirational Emails and make me think WHOA better delete this sugary sweet sap before my computer gets cavities. No wonder the internet gets so slow with sludge like this gumming it up. I mean if I get another footprints in the sand  message, I'm gonna Email someone a black eye!

Others are pleas to pray  for poor little Jimmy or Janey who are suffering from various maladies, usually life threatening. And while I do have sympathy for people who are ill the plea's usually state that they need as many prayers as they can get and my prayer may just be the one that convinces god to save this ill person. Yeah right. As if I can change the will of God.
Now I'm not a callous person and I have nothing but the utmost sympathy for the afflicted person, my peeve is with the people who pass these Emails around like the more people praying the better the chance of success.  And the thought that goes through my head when I see people asking me to add my prayer to the others is this;
 WTF??? Does god hold prayer auctions??
I mean is god sitting in heaven like some auctioneer saying; OK we got 234 Heal Janey prayers do I hear 235?? The lady in the blue dress waving the Pat Robertson  autographed prayer cloth bids 235 do I hear 236?

Do they really expect me to believe that God is talking in tongues to Mrs. Smith or whoever and telling her; Look Mrs. Smith I realize that Little Janey has terminal hiccups  and the doctors have given up all hope and I'm your last chance. But you have to realize that Terminal Hiccups is a class 3 disease and before I can heal her I need a minimum of 2500 prayers and frankly you're about 937 prayers short. Just be thankful she didn't lose a limb. That's a class 9 malady and regenerating amputated limbs requires a minimum of 10 billion prayers. Why do you think I've never had to restore a lost limb? Yes I know you've sent out multiple chain Emails asking people to pray for her but those rarely work, Have you tried PrayBay?

hhh.praybay.con

Thats h h h like in holy holy holy dot praybay dot con Yes thats an "n" at the end.

Well PrayBay is a site like Ebay where you put up a picture of the person you want people to pray for and a short description of their problem and people will add their prayers for your child. When you reach the magic err I mean heavenly number then I am notified and I can then heal your child if I deem that you and your child are true believers and worthy of divine intervention. Whats that? Yes I am aware that you are a beautiful woman and would do "Anything" to save your daughter but the last time I got involved with an Earthly woman it caused all kinds of problems with the crucifixion then the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition and now I've got this deadbeat son who just hangs around all the time and hasn't done a damn thing for the last 2000 years. So I'm going to pretend that you never made that offer. But do give PrayBay a try.  Oh well no I can't tell you if it will work, because if I did that then it would take all of the mystery out of it and we all know that I work in mysterious ways don't we? Well thank you for saying that, but we already knew that I am the most awesome God in the Universe after all I'm the only God, remember? And it's been nice talking to you too but I've really got to run. I'm right in the middle of whipping up a blizzard for Las Vegas right now, You know gotta put the fear of God into those heathens he he he. You take care and best of luck, err, I mean Keep the Faith Mrs. Jones. Bye now.

Now I know I'm going to get some replies about this from the christians saying it's insulting and ridiculous and not believable.  But all I can say is; Hey, You started it.