Recession proof your job. ?
Offline So a big portion of my time online lately has been keeping up on business alerts and articles regarding company closures, layoffs...downsizing...
I don't do this to put myself through some extreme stress - leading to the repetitive thought of "will it be me next!?" Keeping up with what is going on, specifically in the retail sector, is part of my job.So, while roaming through all of the articles of doom and gloom I ran across this article and had to giggle a bit:
5 steps to workplace security:
1. Stay plugged in at the office.
2. Perform. Perform. Perform.
3. Make yourself and your boss look good.
4. Don't whine about an increased workload.
5. Document what you do and your rate of success.
Okay, so why was I giggling? Well beyond the fact that this is so "office focused" the above is just a regurgitation of many articles about "how to move up in the workplace" or "how to get noticed at work" EXAMPLE
While these 'survival' tips are wise (I would hope even in our most glorious economic times most workers would follow them...right!) I think they lack a reality about them. (and a bit of humor) So lets change it up a bit! How about we try to make these tips a bit more fun...
1. "Stay plugged in at the office" - Sleep with your boss. I mean really, you would be SO plugged in! Ensure that after coitus you snuggle up and talk about how certain people really annoy you at work. Plant the seed, maybe he or she will get rid of them for you.
2. "Perform.Perform.Perform." - Look busy. This is really, really easy. As you navigate through google, amazon...the RRS website...just be sure to throw in a few paper shuffles with a good 'ole file cabinet open and close. OH and don't forget to pick up the phone a few times to make 'important calls.'
3. "Make yourself and your boss look good" - Meet your bosses boss. This sounds easy but you have to do some really good planning here. Your boss is barely in the office imagine how often THEIR boss is around. When you have your chance remember: first impressions are lasting impressions: shower, shave, brush your teeth and have a firm handshake. Be sure to drop your name and your bosses name (include that report you worked on...together ..."go teamwork"
don't lose that connection! Email the executive often so they don't forget your name.
4. "Don't whine about an increased workload" - Delegate! There is a report you need to turn in but just don't have time between taking breaks and sending love notes back and forth with the boss. At least you look busy! Just buddy up with the newbie, let them know you have something exciting for them to work on (play up the idea that you normally don't share this work because it is complicated...but they are smart enough to 'get it') Ta Da! You will have the report in record time... plus you just made a friend 
5. "Document what you do and your rate of success" - Learn the art of exaggeration. You finished 2 projects this week. Break down the projects into little projects that needed to be completed before the actual project was done. For example: *I did dishes* doesn't sound like much does it? However, *I was able to gather all of the water glasses from around the house as well as a few pots and pans from last nights dinner. Placing them in a organized manner on the counter next to the sink I began to draw hot water. Within 3 minutes I had regulated the water to the desired temperature and submerged the dishes to begin the washing process...* Always, always, always expound on what you do to complete a task, keepa journal so when asked those 2 reports in one week will seem like a years worth of work.
Slowly building a blog at ~
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Although those probably work better in office type situations for the most part, I doubt those would work in factory type settings (Auto Sector comes to mind here), if a plant closer is going to occur, usually they will save office people, usually, and layoff the floor workers.
However myself I am lucky that in my business it's pretty recession proof, as security gets tighter during a recession (right now I have a huge contract to add on average 8 cameras to each store in the GTA area for a large big box company). As the recession hits, of course people are getting laid off, thefts are increasing, therefore they need to increase their security, it was pretty steady before, now I barely have enough time to sleep.
... no blackmail? how can you 100% proof your job without blackmail?
Recession proof your job 101.
But seriously, good list of ideas. They're also great at any time.
BigUniverse wrote,
"Well the things that happen less often are more likely to be the result of the supper natural. A thing like loosing my keys in the morning is not likely supper natural, but finding a thousand dollars or meeting a celebrity might be."
LoL!
*High-five*
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
screw working. just at home and pack your pud. I mean, you're only making the man more money after all!!
Too late for me. My awesome job went under months ago. I should've slept with the boss. Not that it would help as her job also disappeared. But still... should have slept with her.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
MySpace
BigUniverse wrote,
"Well the things that happen less often are more likely to be the result of the supper natural. A thing like loosing my keys in the morning is not likely supper natural, but finding a thousand dollars or meeting a celebrity might be."
I work for a university library - with the constant shift to electronic resources "Perform, Perform, Perform" moves me closer to obsolesecence.
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
While you have a job, cut back on your spending and put every penny you can squeeze out of your net income into an FU Fund (enough money for at least six months' basic living expenses, including rent or mortgage payments).
Even in good times, because it's easier to put it away during the good financial times than when things are tough. I have in the past 5 years got myself completely out of debt (I was 50 grand in the hole....stupid stupid financial decisions) But now that I am out I have practically no additional bills other than rent, and the bills associated with the house. I use the company car for everything (ok so I own the business with my partners but the payment and insurance doesn't come out of my salary) and being so frugal over the years has now apparently upset my friends because as some have stated, I don't have any REAL bills. Which never made sense to me but hey.
I try to put away at least 900 a month away and sure I can afford to live in a better bigger house, afford far better clothes (I still shop at winners and anywhere that has a sale going on) and maybe actually pay to get into clubs and pay for drinks, but why when i can get it for free? This is what many of my friends don't get that, I am not cheap, just very smart about how I spend my money. Because I am not going back to near bankruptcy ever again.
I'm assessing potential redundancies. It's a shitty task and I fucking hate it.
Advice based on that experience;
Do not assume that your manager can't smell bullshit. Some can't but you can bet that that their boss or someone higher can. Right now, they'll all be trying to safeguard their jobs too and believe me they'll make the time to micromanage if it means keeping the company afloat and their jobs secure.
A lot of it boils down to dollars & cents. If you're in a revenue-generating position like sales or in certain manufacturing jobs, work your arse off to get your productivity up without doing additional overtime (if it's available.) Counter-intuative in the short term but less bread today is better than being hungry tomorrow.
If you're in a support role or one that does not directly generate revenue, prove your worth. Keep an eye out for cost savings on overhead and suggest them to your boss. It does not matter how much or how little those potential savings might be, it all adds up. Waste is anything that adds cost but does not add value. Apply this to everything you look at.
For instance, we're a distribution company and we use a shitload of cardboard boxes, some re-used, some new depending on the client and the availability of old boxes. We pay £3.50 for a new 30x30x30cm box. They're good boxes. We could buy £0.50 boxes, but then the high-value goods we ship in them would get fucked up in transit. The additional £3 is an additional cost, but it adds value - customer gets their goods in good condition and we don't have to pay for return freight and end up with damaged/dead stock on the shelf.
If business is slow and you don't have anything to be getting on with, look for things to do and run them by your boss before going ahead with them. It shows initiative and if what you find has the potential to either reduce cost or increase revenue you're going to look pretty sharp & it will mitigate any reasons to let you go. Facebook and other personal Internet use at work is not a meaningful use of company time and in this day and age, it's paving at least part of the road to redundancy.
Turn up to work on time. Timekeeping is very easy to track and someone who is often late in, often leaves early or often takes longer breaks than the times set will often be on the list of potential redundancies.
Do not pull sneaky sickies. If you're genuinley ill, or have a genuine problem at home that needs dealing with, then be honest with your boss. Give them backstory if it's appropriate. It will be appreciated. There are ways of determining the validity of sick days, and if your manager or HR department are worth their salt, they will know who is genuinley ill and who isn't. If you have a condition that is going to result in your being off sick more regularly than is otherwise normal, be honest with your employer about it. Do not bullshit.
Approach your work as if you were a stakeholder in the company. In a very real sense you are. As the number of jobs out there decreases, so will your chances of finding work decrease if you end up unemployed. The diligence that working to this ethic will provide will be noticed.
Remember that your boss, their boss and right on up to the owners/directors of the company may well be in fear of their own jobs too, but are not able to discuss or show that fear in the workplace. Go easy on them. It's fucking stressful being responsible for decisions that may affect the livelihoods of even just a couple of people, let alone a couple of hundred or a couple of thousand. Know that many of them will be struggling to sleep at night because of it.
This should mitigate the chances of being made redundant, but are not going to cancel them out entirely. At some point, the decision will come down to dollars & cents/pounds & pence/euros & cents.
Stop that... It's silly.