I have a question for you Jesus
They say you triumphed over death. If you were trying to get followers why death? There are two certain things, death and taxes. If you had picked triump over taxes you would have had people flocking to be baptized and follow your teachings. Picking triumph over death reinforces the ignorant carpenter's son image. Can you imagine how many people would agree not to steal if they didn't have to pay taxes? That's a real quid pro quo.
Jews stole the land. The owners want it back. That is all anyone needs to know about Israel. That is all there is to know about Israel.
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From the desk of:
Yahweh jr.
To: A_Nony_Mouse
Re. copy to : RRS
Dear Mr. Mouse
Dad and I have had real issues over this early death and resurection thing. I was expecting the Mithra/ Zoarastrian way of doing it, you know 'dead and back in three days' to start again when big sis Ishtar has a birthday. Taking three days off once a year is okay then I can get back to the partys , the wine makeing and walking on water an such. But then Dad goes total Puritan on me and it's like 2000 year and I'm still waiting on my next wedding invite, did your father ever ground you for that long; like I get the message dad!!!Jeeesh!!
About that taxes thing, do you remember when I said "Render unto Caeser that which is Caeser's....blah, blah, blah." It means pay your taxes, sorry guy, but look at it from my point of view. The man had a sword, and two bodyguards!!!! I did get Peter and the boys to carry swords and knives after that, Pete even hacked off a cops ear once but I still have to pay a tax on it.
Step-dad Joeseph wasn't so bad, he let me out of the house once in a while. Those 6 day wedings are great and the wine flows like water and daddy Joe can dance up a storm. He wasn't a carpenter though, stone cutter like the other craftsmen in the area. I tried it myself for a while but didn't like it; broken nails and all kind of dust in your eye. Then real dad had this idea I should go around talking about him all the time, dad's got an ego you gotta stroke 24/7 but I gotta tell you it beats getting dirty for a living.
That town of Nazareth I heard of sounds like a nice place, never saw it. No one lived there till after I got nailed. Speaking of getting nailed, that was dads idea, not mine. I was expecting to get back in three days like cousin Mithra and do it all again next year but dad is being a real pain about this return thing. I even told Pete and the boys I'd be back in their life times, Thommy is still pissed about that.
That's all for now I hope you get along better with your dad. Say Hi to Mrs.Mouse and all the little mouses for me.
Salutations
Jesus H. Yahweh jr.
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
Magic Jesus Ball says <shake>: "As I see it, yes"
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