Do you miss god?
Offline I think that this is a question only those of us that were former believers can answer and, to a certain extent, understand.
I was raised catholic and attended catholic schools from k-8. I've had doubts about god and faith for as long as remember but I buried them until my mid-20s.
I'm approaching my 33 b-day now. I've been a non-believer for about 5 years now but it's only been in the past year or so that I've been able call myself an atheist out loud and face the consequences that such a title can bring in close minded circles.
While I will never again return to belief, I sometimes find myself wishing that I could. Things were easier when I could turn to sayings like "god loves me" to comfort myself during bad times. It's amazing how the simple act of talking to the ceiling in while in bed (what I used to call prayer) was able to bring me peace of mind because I was able to convince myself that an invisible man was listening to me.
Do any of your former believers ever feel this way? Don't get me wrong. Reality is great. I have deep sense of pride when I think about the strength it took for me to pull myself away from the things I was brought up to believe. However, sometimes reality can be a cold, hard bitch-especially now that I don't have "higher power" to turn to in times of crisis. It's up to me to solve my own problems, which can be simultaneously empowering and overwhelming.
Any thoughts on the subject are welcome.
I dare do all that may become a man-Who dares more is none
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The farther I get from theism, the less I think there's anything good about it at all. Granted, I've studied rather intensely since becoming an atheist because I wanted to know the real answers to the questions religion claimed to answer. I feel confident that I know most of those answers as well as can be known now, and I find them to be far, far more satisfying -- and ultimately comforting -- than any answer religion could ever give.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
To be clear, I'm not attempting to make a claim that theistic beliefs are good. I would argue that the opposite is true.
I understand what you're saying about real answers providing comfort and I agree to an extent. However, along with that comfort comes some brutal truths, such as:
I am not special.
No matter how good of a person I am I won't receive any magical protection or advantages.
No magical happy place awaits me when I die and those that I've lost are truly gone with memory all that remains.
etc, etc
Again, I would't trade reality for these false promises, but I can understand why some people would and often do. Religion, at the least the way it was taught to me, can be a huge ego stroke, among other things, and I understand why so many welcome its embrace, stifling though it is.
I dare do all that may become a man-Who dares more is none
This realization was one of the most freeing moments of my life. I honestly can't tell you the weight that was lifted off of my mind when I realized I'm not inherently special, and that anything I do or don't do is what will determine my relative worth in the world.
But there are real advantages to being good. Yeah, shit happens, but you knew that shit happens when you were a theist, too. For me, it's been easier to take the shit knowing it wasn't being allowed to happen by an inscrutable deity.
To me, this realization makes this life that much more special and meaningful! It makes me value my friends even more. It gives me reason to cherish every happy moment I have.
Yeah, I get you, and I agree that there are a lot of people who aren't as comfortable with reality as I am. I wouldn't trade this reality for one with a god. Some people surely would. I guess it's just my personality type that makes me happy that I don't have to live up to anyone's expectations but my own, and I don't have to rely on some magic deity for my ego boost. I can boost my own ego by accomplishing things.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
...I can't say honestly that I miss God, per se, but every now and again I get out...hmm...I'll call them the "trappings" of religion. I think that the real capacity for me to "push the 'I believe' button" is pretty much gone. Getting deeply acquainted with the apologetics of various groups can do that to you. But I still enjoy some of the songs I liked before (though no longer "worshiping" in any sense,) and I even can still be caught actually reading the Bible (albeit from a radically different point of view, and with radically different questions about the text.) I do miss the interaction with others on Sunday morning, although that has yet to drive me back to an actual service.
Then again, my rosary has pretty much fallen into complete disuse. Haven't had a hankering for that in a while. And despite what some Catholics will tell you about ex-Catholics who haven't had communion in a while, I seem to be doing fine, even there.
I expect that these are temporary things, and will wear out with time.
Conor
1. "I am not special."
Me: In my case, religion often was more of a reason to think of myself as worthless and evil. *I* was relieved to find out that I'm really not that bad.
2. "No matter how good of a person I am I won't receive any magical protection or advantages."
Me: In my case, it was less a matter of being good enough to receive special favors; it was more like I was just continually wishing for divine intervention, because I thought that that was the only way I might get anything done at all.
3. " For me, it's been easier to take the shit knowing it wasn't being allowed to happen by an inscrutable deity."
Me: Yes, that inscrutability can be a real pain in the backside; the thing I found ultimately intolerable was that "God" was so inscrutable, that he apparently couldn't even be counted on to be interested in the things that he himself allegedly desired...you know...people converting to the "right religion," a Bible full of truth and empty of error, giving grace so that people could overcome their own faults and failings, constancy and infallibility of doctrine, so that the "truth" could be "clear"...stuff like that.
4. "Again, I would't trade reality for these false promises, but I can understand why some people would and often do."
Me: You have no idea how tempting it is to respond to this with the word "Amen." Does that qualify as under-the-radar spirituality, as blasphemy, or as twisted humor? Enquiring minds want to know.
Conor
I use to wish I still believed. Ignorance is bliss. But in truth, I feel more free as an atheist then I ever felt when I was a christian. I'm glad that it no longer weighs me down. I no longer wish it at all.
I was never a theist, but there are days I wish I could honestly believe & tell people that they'll see a deceased friend again. Monday would've been one of those days.
Three of my old buddies were killed in a car wreck in the rocky mountains (their own fault; the driver was driving far too fast, went off the road and struck a tree, and all three died after being thrown from the vehicle because they were not wearing seatbelts) and one left a minorly injured spouse (who was also in the vehicle, but wore the damn seatbelt like she was supposed to) widowed. I went out of town until late Wednesday night to try and help people cope and offer consolation... and, let's face it:
There's no honest way of doing that effectively.
Nothing quite like being asked by a newly widowed friend, who is usually just far too intelligent to bring such a question forward, if you believe that they will ever see their husband again. Giving the honest answer to that question is an experience I really don't care to repeat, and being a naive imbecile would've been - in that particular moment - a far easier experience.
So, yes. There are rare occassions that I digress not having fallen prey to dogma, or that it simply is so ludicrous to think that life would continue after death. The wealth of benefits offered by my rational mind, however, so staggeringly outweighs any amount of ease that might be offered here or there by clinging to irrational precepts that it would ever be really fair for me to say there are any situations I've yet encountered where I genuinely regret not spending half of my time kissing the feet of a phantasmal deity.
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
Do you miss god? Does god miss me?
Do you believe in god? Does god believe in me?
Apparently the theist answer is yes on one no on two.
Stop worrying about it. We are born to believe for very good evolutionary reasons. You can give a toddler a very long lecture on the dangers of electricy or simply slap it hand when it plays with a socket. With the latter he will live long enough for you to pay for his college so you might want to choose the lecture.
When you turned to the "higher power" were things any better over all or was it just a stress reliever? If the latter, turn to the higher power. It is cheaper than stress pills. And it doesn't really matter if you believe or not. That is what most atheists forget.
We are not going to be a majority any time soon. Even if we were we will still have wars. We simply will not pretend God is on our side. The Romans and Greeks and all the rest believed but they did not pretend their gods ordered it or in fact gave a damn who won.
There is a huge mistake connecting theism with war and murder and such. People do those things. ONLY the god of the Jews ordered wars but unless you believe there is history in the OT there is no evidence of any more wars in their neck of the woods.
Whether or not you believe you will behave the same. The non-believer will simply be spared some guilt feelings.
Atheists are not pacifists. They simply have different reasons for their fights. There is nothing intrinsically good or better about being an atheist. That is something entirely different and up to you.
Jews stole the land. The owners want it back. That is all anyone needs to know about Israel. That is all there is to know about Israel.
www.ussliberty.org
www.giwersworld.org/made-in-alexandria/index.html
www.giwersworld.org/00_files/zion-hit-points.phtml
When I was a believer I used to pray, but I noticed that it never helped. I could not remember any situation when I got what I prayed for. Never, not even once.
When I think now I realize that I never was a true believer even though I believed in God, prayer didn't bring me much comfort.
On the other hand, my current understanding of the universe is so simple, so elegant that it brings me hapiness and comfort, though I know that there is no afterlife or invisible helping hand, or even any meaning to it, I still feel one with the universe.
And I will never miss god.
I do miss God, very much - in that God is quite comforting. After believing so whole-heartedly for so long in a "something" that was actually designing and contriving the workings of this world, well, it's kind of a knee-jerk response to life's tough spots to "give it up to God," so to speak.
And it's a nice thought to be able to look at my daughter and think, "there's more than this world."
When the deconversion process began for me, I found that I would sometimes miss the full belief in God I had experienced before, but only in the sense that I missed the confidence. I missed not having to face uncertainty. I missed not having to wonder whether I was putting myself in danger by experimenting with skepticism. (A funny turn of phrase, since to well-indoctrinated christians it might as well be a life-destroying narcotic.) I missed not having to struggle with difficult questions. I missed the bliss of ignorance, and the ridiculous but cozy confidence that came with it.
But the further I ventured into skepticism, the more I realized it WAS the right choice, the more I realized that religion WAS ridiculous after all, the less uncomfortable I felt with the transition. I eventually was able to crawl completely out of the theism abyss, and finally seeing the world in its true light, I looked back and said never again.
I don't miss God. At all.
Or to be more specific, since the xian God is a work of fiction: I don't miss religion.
A place common to all will be maintained by none. A religion common to all is perhaps not much different.
I never miss my former religion or my former belief in God (Christianity) or god (Deism).
I could never miss the endless lectures, rituals, many punishments for bad behavior during every church service. The hours of kneeling, and trying my best to understand and believe what was being pushed on me. How could anyone put their child through that? I guess I knew at a very young age that it was brainwashing, and I wanted nothing to do with it. But I do miss Santa Claus.
I don't miss god, no.
But that's not really the question. The question is, do I miss the feelings of elation and ambient safety that I generally associate with god belief. I find that it's helpful to separate one thing from the other.
Everything about our feelings obtained from god belief is perfectly natural. The elation, the fuzzy feelings, that sense that everything will be allright... all perfectly natural and attainable without having to believe in unbridled childish wishful thinking. Deep breathing, meditation, all that is where it comes from. It's good stuff. I am a stress monkey so I'm not very good at it, but in those moments when I can calm and concentrate on the vastness of the universe or the complexity of human society and the spectacular fact that there is only one of me... I feel pretty safe and fuzzy.
I really struggled at first with losing my faith...I would go as far to say it was a rather traumatic experience, so for the first 6 months where I really stopped believing I lied to myself telling myself that this was just a rough patch and part of a healthy "Christian Struggle". I wept often and for a while was rather suicidal...I really missed my "relationship" with my imaginary God and not feeling Him there was like losing a part of myself (which is essentially true). Now though, I really resent the idea of god and I hope for his sake that he isn't real because there will be hell to pay for putting me through this crap...so now I don't miss him at all.
http://RagingRev.com
Honestly, no, then again i dont think about it much
sorry about the impatience
I personally do a little, just like I sort of miss the simplicity of childhood. Of course as an adult I think its much better overall, because you can see whats really going on and you aren't in a state of blissful ignorance of the harsh realities of the world, which I think can be compared to atheism and theism pretty simply(Although I suppose that's perhaps a bit presumptuous). I'm definitely glad I got rid of religion in my life though, it never made sense and made me unhappier as a person overall.