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How do you know if someone is a "theist?"
Posted on: March 3, 2009 - 4:15pm
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How do you know if someone is a "theist?"
"NO THEISTS ALLOWED IN THIS FORUM. THEIST POSTS WILL BE DESTROYED." I don't recall being asked to "pick sides" when I created my account. How do the moderators know whether I am a theist or not? It's all in the reflexes...
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It's usually revealed in their postings.
Theists are easily identified by:
They never eat kittens, atheists thrive on them.
They don't hate god; just everything else.
They never ask logical questions, "goddidit" answers everything.
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
Ditto. Theists get a "theist" badge once they out themselves somewhere on the site.
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Not just any kittens - they must be properly barbequed.
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
The other way to find out is simply to ask...
Eyeballson, do you have a belief in a god?
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The direct approach - how delightfully sneaky.
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
If I say no, how will you know I'm not lying?
If I say yes, how will I recover from the destruction of my post?
What if I say that I haven't decided yet? What then?
How do I deal with the pressure!?
"Now we see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help! I'm being repressed..."
It's all in the reflexes...
We won't. But, if you out yourself later, we won't like you anymore, and we'll give you the dreaded troll badge.
Ask god to help you?
Then someone will chime in and say that until you have an active belief in God, you are an atheist, a-theism being "not having theism." I don't know if the Giants are going to win the Super Bowl next year. Why would you call me a Giants-are-going-to-win-the-super-bowl-ist? I leave the possibility open that they will, but I am not a believer. I am not a Giants-are-going-to-win-the-super-bowl-ist. Therefore, I am an a-giants-are-going-to-win-the-super-bowl-ist, by definition.
On the other hand, if by "I haven't decided yet" you mean you haven't decided which of the pantheon of gods is the true one, but you do believe that there must be some true god or another, then you're just a pansy, and we will taunt you.
Tweek's dad would recommend coffee.
Bloody peasant.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
We won't.
Ask Jesus to bring it back?
Ditto, then you're not a theist.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare
I won't for now.
We would simply move it to another section of the site.
Then you don't get a theist badge. (see what Hamby wrote too)
The same way I deal with the fact that you answered an extremely simple yes or no question with 5 questions. You suck it up, life sucks sometimes.
Do you have a belief in a god?
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I refuse to not admit, negatively, the affirmation that I don't have an un-belief in non-atheist-ism... not. (ing - ham...)
"San Dimas High School football rules!"
It's all in the reflexes...
I'm kidding.
Alright, you got me!
I'm a theist.
Worse yet - I'm a ... wait for it ... Christian.
Oh man, I blew it.
And we were having so much fun...
It's all in the reflexes...
No, now the fun begins!
"I am that I am." - Proof that the writers of the bible were beyond stoned.
Nobody asked you to do that. My question was very specific... Do you have a belief in any god?
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No problem. You were doing a good job in remaining ambiguous. We'll just move this thread to General Conversation, and ask that you not inject yourself into threads in the Freethinking anonymous forum.
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Until you give up your dirty god habit, that is.
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Piffle.
I suspected as much with your questions about morality -- or actually, I should say your reluctance to tell me what you really wanted to know. That's typical of a theist. However, to your credit, I've called Christians out far sooner than you. You made it a long way through the gauntlet without anyone objecting.
Kudos... I suppose. Now, would you like to talk about why you're a theist?
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
Hoping for somethng you've never read before?
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
I always hope to read something new from theists. I hate to say it this way because it sounds so condescending, but I get bored answering theists. If they come up with something I haven't heard before, at least I have to use my brain a little.
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
I'm the same. That 2012 pole shift thread that keeps popping up every now and then contains a perfect example. Someone mentioned some far out thing I'd never heard of before. And then I got to throw it back in his face, because he'd gotten his own stuff wrong. I love hearing about new religions or beliefs, because they're like stories. Some of them are even well written, regardless of how wrong they remain.
I've been tempted to write an auto-response to the drive-by's and the uber-common questions/comments that pop up. They just get boring sometimes.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.