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Can I get a guy's perspective on this?
Posted on: March 9, 2009 - 2:35am
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Can I get a guy's perspective on this?
What do you look for in a girl personality wise?
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Oops, this was suppose to go in General Conversations Introductions and Humor.
What do i look for in a girls personality? o_O
One thats similar to my own (very... VERY... difficult)
What Would Kharn Do?
1. Confidence.
A woman who knows her own worth. I find that I get annoyed with people with low self asteem, or they get annoyed with me, so that's a conflict waiting to happen. In the case of women, those conflicts are way too much hassle, and so, low self asteem should be a deal breaker up front.
Unfortunately, I do think I have a bit of a savior complex, and I get atracked to women with self asteem issues if I find them otherwise intruiging, because I think I can teach them to love themselves, if I can love them unconditionally. But that's a rather tricky feat to perform, and leads to alot of trouble. So my ideal woman is confident.
2. Humour.
A sense of humour is a must. Granted I get along with most people, because to me there are three kinds of people, the kind that can be funny, the kind that can laugh with the first kind, and the kind that can do neither. The last is a rare breed in my experience, and those are the only kind of people I consider to not have a sense of humour.
If a girl is the second kind: not nessesarily telling jokes left and right themselves, but just able to appreciate the funny side of life, that's fine with me.
But serious, somber people are scary to me: if you don't get that life's a joke, and laughing is living, then you are basically a walking dead to me. It's borderline psychopathic behavior in my view to not be able to laugh at anything.
3. Smarts.
That should be self explanitory. I'm not looking for a rocket scientist or anything like that, just a girl that reflects on information, and can't help but contemplate what she knows and thinks she knows. Basically anyone who isn't a stereotypical "Airhead bimbo" will do. I don't mind at all if she's smarter than me, but she doesn't have to be. As long as she's of average intellegence.
4. Musicality
She has to love music, like I do. But it is by no means important that she likes the same music I do. As long as she is passionate about the music she likes, and I can objectivaly appreciate that music, it doesn't have to fall in the same category as the stuff I like. Indeed, I like the idea of a dynamic relationship in which she opens my eyes to other kinds of music, and vice versa. I play in a rock/metal band myself, and I girl that played cello in a symphony orchestra, for example, that would be a cool combo.
5. Sexuality
She has to love, and be confortable with sex. She has to know what she likes, and when she likes it, and it has to fit with my own tastes in sex. This is the least important thing, only because this can be taught. I've opened up girls to their own sexuality in the past, and I have no doubt I can do that again, so even though it is tremendously important to me in the long run, I am not scared off by a girl who can't initially embrase her own hornyness.
In summing, she has to fit my own personality on a deeper level (like music, like laughing, like confidence) but on the surface, we can be, indeed should be very different (like she's into romantic movies, I'm into action movies). The more surface dynamic the better, and the less opposition on a deeper level (we like different movies/music/clothes, but we both agree that we like good movies/music/clothes et.c. )
Well I was born an original sinner
I was spawned from original sin
And if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done
There'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin
done.
Honestly, I'm not sure.
I think I'm usually attracted to a mixture of several traits. She would be more confident than the average person, but also somewhat introverted. She would be nicer than me, more honest than me, and more patient than me.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare
This is easy.
1. Intelligent
2. Funny
I guess low standards and loose morals would be nice too.
Responsibility: A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911
For the most part, she has to have a good sense of humor, I love to joke around so they better be able to laugh stuff off. must be intelligent enough to hold a conversation regarding current events. Religious wise, not to strict, personally I don't care if they believe in, as long as it's not shove it down your throat type.
Sexuality must be comfortable in her own skin and as well know what she likes, lack of confidence for me is not sexy, and I don't have time nor the desire to have to build someones confidence, I can add to it, but I will not build it from scratch. As well be open minded, when it comes to sex, I am pretty much game for anything....well almost I know my limits and she should know her limits.
I don't date italians anymore nor spanish women, at least not currently as I have found spanish women to be ummmm how do I say this nicely...psycotic....could be because I have enough of them crazy in my own family. As for the italians well just never had a good one, always the princess syndrom with them so far, maybe if I met ones that aren't like that I might consider. All others I am game for.
Body types, there is a thing of being healthy, even bigger women can look healthy, I don't date uber skinny women because they look sick nor obese women for the same reason, however I have dated larger women that take care of themselves as well as normal weight women (I guess this is the right term, someone correct me if I am wrong) that look healthy, this is the important to me, yes my vanity, all women can be sexy and desirable it's a matter of attitude and knowing how to dress for your body type, and taking care of yourself. Where I live before, brampton ( and anyone from the GTA knows anything about brampton night clubs/bars) the women there don't know how to dress approriately for their body types.....plus I personally believe real women have curves
just don't have the flab hanging on the side of those low riding tight pants not sexy at all uugg)
attitudes, I like strong women over all, but I don't like gossipy bitchy women. I don't mind a woman that speaks her mind, but like everyone must know when to keep their mouths shut (this goes for guys as well). I can care less for gossip as it's not my thing, I don't care what you think I care about what you know is my saying. But bitchness is my biggest issue, if you have to tear down other women to make yourself feel good, the hell with that. As well to bitch about everything, don't care for that either.
I only look for one thing, she has to be layed back. Hyper, inquisitive, excitable or simalar attributed people annoy me. I can appreciate almost anything else. I can appreciate arrogence, greed, low self asteem etc but what i cannot stand (long term) is some one that is excitable. We all have our own little weaknesses and i enjoy most of them.
Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
No animal shall wear clothes.
No animal shall sleep in a bed.
No animal shall drink alcohol.
No animal shall kill any other animal.
All animals are equal.
Sense of humor (includes liking Monty Python), intelligence (not a 'know it all'), non clingy, dedicated, non mothering, and knows what she wants.
Haha. Why don't you just ask for a Castle made of solid gold, and the ability to fly while you're at it. You're about as likely to find that as a woman who likes Monty Python.
Well, all kidding aside, those girls don't exactly grow on trees. I've known one or two, so I'm not saying it's impossible, but it is setting your standards pretty high.
Well I was born an original sinner
I was spawned from original sin
And if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done
There'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin
It would be nice to find one as smart or smarter than me, though one close in intellect would suffice. A sense of humour, a backbone, and a tolerance or preferrably love for gaming of all forms. If you can fit those together, and subtract religious views, you have the perfect woman. Looks are secondary to all of these factors.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
1: she can't mind my wife too much
2: Laid back, relaxed.
3: fun, humorous (prefferably a darker humor btw)
4: somewhat well read
and if she looks anything like you dear...well thats a plus!
http://RagingRev.com
Haha. Don't know Pinapple that well huh?
Isn't that Lene from Aqua by the way Pinapple?
Well I was born an original sinner
I was spawned from original sin
And if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done
There'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin
well damn...i thought I was picking her up....
Yes, that's Lene [Who's also form Denmark I believe]
She's actually Norwegian, but the other guys from the "band" were Danish, and they were based in Denmark, so she moved here and became a permanent resident.
Well I was born an original sinner
I was spawned from original sin
And if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done
There'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin
Level & cool-headedness are must-haves. I've already witnessed what happens when one decides to ignore tendencies towards lunacy or psychosis in favor of hotness.
It's not a happy ending.
Religious & spiritual beliefs, extremely conservative ideals, pretentiousness and drama baiting are my deal-breakers. I do not mind the company of people whose opinions are different to mine, but I do mind the company of people who promote and/or engage in insanities or who constantly seek-out the center of attention.
Aside from that, personality-wise, I've found myelf attracted to a fairly broad range of young women, so I suppose I'm not too picky (deal breakers aside).
Physique-wise, obesity is a universal deal-breaker, while meeting any of the below criteria tends to give you a higher score in my book:
- Wears glasses
- Has red hair
- Is around 5'5" or so
- Has 'C' cups at the most
- Has a propensity for wearing dresses formally and jeans casually
- Is within 3 years of my own age.
- Tends to keep hair shoulder-length and loose; ponytails almost never look as good as an unbundles mane.
Hygiene is also of obvious importance - though, frankly, I've rarely seen it as an issue among females. Most of the girls I know used to keep toothbrushes in their purse and sneak-off to the bathroom after a meal for a quick touch-up.
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
So we've got that pretty well summed up, this and this is an ideal girl. Now there is only one question left - WHERE CAN THEY BE FOUND? I'm not a city person, I'm a villager (though very unusual villager) and there's nothing (uhm...lovable) around, so I guess the girls can be found in the city. But all my memories of a city got erased by exposure to hay, straw, dung and manual work, I'd need a thorough social rehabilitating course, like a prisoner who never been out of the jail. Perhaps the girls of the forum can share their tips, or compromise locations of secret clubs of intellectual women.
It is an unfortunate result of male oppression of which the womankind didn't yet fully recover. I have found some dear friends, very intelligent and fun to hang out with, I also know about many great musicians and artists, and so on. The problem is, that all of these unusual human beings I managed to meet personally were men. From time to time I had seen some news about existence of extraordinary women, who can make computer games, discuss the great questions of life and look very hot, but these are possibly a mischievous illusions of fat, hairy men under a false identity.
We need more girls who can express their equal or superior intelligence and beauty, through electronic media and personally. Internet, the domain of men, feels like half empty without them. Politics also. Even the new age groups awaits the coming age of Aquarius, which will nourish the world with female aspect of divinity and remove the ancient patriarchism.
Beings who deserve worship don't demand it. Beings who demand worship don't deserve it.
I find this interesting. Eyeglasses automatically result in a deduction of desirability in my book. Not a major deduction, but a deduction all the same. Mostly due to the increase in probability for eye problems in our potential offspring, but to a certain extent it's also about us both being capable of seeing potential dangers to each other. Most birth defects of a similar wean(actually resulting in disability) have the same result. Not that I have some kind of problem with disabled people, I just think there's enough crap to deal with in life that one doesn't need an additional problem of such magnitude to deal with from birth.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
Haha! Excellent point. We can all have our dreams...
Actually, my wife doesn't hate Monty Python and she probably couldn't quote a line from any of their work, however, she can quote some Godfather lines, so it all kind of evens out.
Obsequious in public.
Submissive in bed.
Tenacious in debate.
Innocent in demeanor.
Exhibitionist on the beach.
Rational in decision making.
Oh. And she needs to be a world socialist.
Atheist Books, purchases on Amazon support the Rational Response Squad server, which houses Celebrity Atheists.
I also prefer girls who are in the same relative range as I am on the intelligence/culture spectrum, but I think that's true for everyone, regardless of whether we're talking about the high or low end.
I tend to gravitate toward girls...
...who are mild-mannered but not reserved
...who have a wide range of humor, from corny puns to dead baby jokes
...who like getting the princess/queen treatment but don't expect it or fish for it
...who believe in comfort before style (but still a little style, please)
...who are as awkward around children as I am, and therefore don't want any
...who are sexual in a relationship, but sexually submissive
...who have a similar philosophy about arguments as I do: i.e. if we can't talk about this without mockery, spite, sarcasm, and general shittiness in our voices, then we're not going to talk about it. Argument postponed until the shittiness checks out. (NOTE: This only applies to serious arguments. Not arguments about, say, who is the root of all evil: Dr. Phil or Oprah? In that kind of argument, all of that stuff is welcome and even adds to the fun.)
...who are good-looking but don't know it (or at least aren't very convinced)
...who would rather show their appreciation than tell it
...who live more in the now than in the future
...who can enjoy an experience without talking about it too much, thereby talking all the enjoyment out of it
...who, like me, are sort of socially aloof/distant. For many, this quality of mine is frustrating, but it's important, because if you encroach on my aloofness, I will quickly begin resenting you. A person with the a similar manner---or at least one with a low risk of encroaching on mine---works best.
At the end of the day, it all boils down to compatibility. I wouldn't dream of writing a list for what constitutes an attractive personality, but I have no problem writing lists of traits I look for. (Which is harder than writing lists of traits I avoid.)
A place common to all will be maintained by none. A religion common to all is perhaps not much different.
A lot of the gentleman on here have hit on the high points, but I figured I'd offer my two cents.
There's no 'best' personality to have, but some of the things I enjoy are:
Passion - having something you enjoy, truly love and want to share with me;
Intellect - being able to carry on a conversation and tap into the world around you;
Confidence - willing to show your true colors; able to be comfortable in your own skin;
as well as
Libido - having a desire to have lots of fun sex, without hangups about yourself.
If you happen to enjoy wearing skirts, have librarian glasses and put your hair in pigtails, I'm eminently interested as well. Brunettes and redheads are a big plus.
"Like Fingerpainting 101, gimme no credit for having class; one thumb on the pulse of the nation, one thumb in your girlfriend's ass; written on, written off, some calling me a joke, I don't think that I'm a sellout but I do enjoy Coke."
-BHG
Red hair.
There's the difference right there, then.
I do not plan on having offspring.
Oh.
I suppose I should've noted that characterization as well.
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
Wait what? Since when do girls not like Monty Python??
Lol, I guess so. I can just imagine, you're in the 5th week of dating, she springs up all happy: I'm pregnant! Your first words: Oh shit. Her next word: Asshole!
Support payments ensue...
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
Could be a dutch, and where ever sleestack resides goddess, 3 of my female friends and 2 other friends are coming over in 2 weeks for our python's holy trinity weekend fest, Meaning of lIfe, the Life of Brian and the Holy Grail movie fest. Food, booze and great movies, and could be a few more people depending on work schedules and if boyfriends/girlfriends are available to come over.
hmm another thing:
When you say "sexually comfortable" or something like that do you mean intimate intercourse, or her dressed as a maid handcuffed to the bedpost?
I'm in California, so maybe it's a California girl thing? Most are in the "Don't like them" column or the "Never heard of them" column. The "never heard of them" column, I can only imagine grew up in a basement.
Yes
No, you can't have my girlfriend!
It doesn´t matter. A nice rack will compensate for all other deficiencies.
Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen
Funny thing is I fit 5/7 or 6/7 depending if 5'3" is "around" 5'5"
It's not too tough to meet that criteria; it's fairly average, other than particulars like glasses and red hair.
Hm. Which makes me wonder about what Hamby had said about the sexiness of averages he talked about on his blog. But anywhoo...
I'm afraid, m'dear, that you violate two of my big dealbreakers (As sure as I am that you're heartbroken.
):
No basket cases and no psychos.
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
Odd; I didn't see your name anywhere on her last time I checked...
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
Great answer: Pinapple, what you propose is clearly not an either/or.
If both parties are into the latter then that makes it a subcategory of the former.
To clarify, what I mean is: if both parties like "her dressed as a maid handcuffed to the bedpost" then that is what constitutes imtimate intercourse to both of them.
Well I was born an original sinner
I was spawned from original sin
And if I had a dollar bill for all the things I've done
There'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin
Yeah I know, perhaps I should of said 'like' rather than 'or'
And Kevin I don't think you have to worry about having kids.
Actually I think red hair is rather rare, and that the more you stand out, the more attractive you are to a point.
I don't mean to rain on anyone's parade, but I've always preferred brunettes.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
To quote Bender from Futurama, "Good, Evil - they're both excellent choices."
If getting cuffed to a headboard is your sort of thing, then excellent - we'll find a way to make it work on our end, generally. If passionate sex without whips and chains is more your speed, I'm sure there's plenty of people who'd line up for that framework as well.
"Like Fingerpainting 101, gimme no credit for having class; one thumb on the pulse of the nation, one thumb in your girlfriend's ass; written on, written off, some calling me a joke, I don't think that I'm a sellout but I do enjoy Coke."
-BHG
Green eyes! Oh, blue is good too.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare
That's easy.
1. Intelligent.
2. Fun and Playful
3. Sexual.
4. Beautiful.
5. Brown or black hair.
6. Brown eyes.
7. Short, 5'0" - 5'6"
8. If it isn't to much to ask... Atheist.
Exceptions can be made. I'd be happy if I found a woman who met 6/8 qualifications. As far as religion goes, I really don't care, as long as she isn't crazy or a fundie and can joke about it I'm fine with whatever. I dated a wiccan chick for a year, though I did have a lot of laughs at her expense.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
MySpace
Have to agree with you on that, I don't particularly like blondes, a valley girl (yes from the california valley area, when I was living in Gardena I dated one) to say the least turned me right off of blondes for life I think. Red heads, brunettes, dark hair...shaved.....pink, green, blue...and then then maybe blondes
1. At least reasonably attractive*. Not asking for Jessica Albas or the like, but a certain baseline, I suppose, if that makes sense. It's one of the least important categories in a way, but I'd look for a minimum in it. Aka the girl needs to register at least a 50 on a scale of 1 to 100, but beyond that the rest is far more important. Oh, and the face is typically what I notice most.
2. Intelligence. She need be almost as smart as me be or be more smarterest. Me no likey dumb gurl.
3. A good personality. Nice, sense of humor, skeptical and hopefully optimistic (as I can be cynical at times).
4. Natural looking. I'm not entirely sure how to put this, but someone who looks like they have bleached or whatever hair and extensive makeup isn't nearly as attractive as someone who seems they'd look good and be comfortable with themself after spending 5 days hiking in the woods or something.
5. Not sure how you'd define this in a word of two, but interest in actually having conversation about things such as politics and science. This typically comes included with an intelligent girl, but I figured I'd mention it specifically. Someone who only wants to talk about the latest celebrity gossip and newest fashion doesn't really interest me.
6. Atheist if possible (or at least an agnostic Deist at worst). Anything beyond that and...there will be significant clashes (well, beyond typical relationship clashes).
*I'm 6'1". As a result, I'm likely attracted to taller women than most (I'd prefer, say, 5'5 or taller if possible, but it's not something I'd worry much about). I prefer blonde or brunette...though I'm not particularly attracted to many blondes, especially if it looks unnatural. The blondes I do find attractive are right up there with the brunettes...but other blondes I'd avoid...perhaps another guy can help explain this, I'm somewhat at a loss for words on how to phrase it well.
When queried whether or not it was important to me that the carpet match the drapes, I replied simply, "Carpet can be stripped, the drapes can be dyed, and any rough edges can be smoothed."
Atheist Books, purchases on Amazon support the Rational Response Squad server, which houses Celebrity Atheists.
Is it just me or do some of these answers have nothing to due with personality.
My look for traits would be
honest
extroverted
open
curious
compassionate
self-reliant
I probably need to date more to get a full list of things...
Sounds made up...
Agnostic Atheist
No, I am not angry at your imaginary friends or enemies.
If you date more, you'll know why the original question is ridiculous.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence
Not driving me crazy would actually get you a pretty long way.
There is no rare personal traits that I look for. It is the most common ones I am after. But at the end of the day it is more about how it feels to touch someone or how someone looks when she cries that makes an impression.
To nominate one personal trait I would say fearless.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
MySpace
She must be beautiful. Funny thing though, my wife is more beautiful than when we first met, in 1969.