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Why ISN'T Jesus Returning To Earth Soon?
Posted on: March 28, 2009 - 12:25am
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Why ISN'T Jesus Returning To Earth Soon?
besides the obvious "He doesn't exist" muhahhhhahahaahhhahahahhah
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Because amalgamated mythical figures don't come back. It's very hard to come back when you never existed in the first place.
...Oh, didn't you get the message?
He already dropped by, but he forgot the cheetos. Had to go back to pick them up.
You just missed him.
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
Can you ring him up and tell him to bring Doritoes? Way better imo.
Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
No animal shall wear clothes.
No animal shall sleep in a bed.
No animal shall drink alcohol.
No animal shall kill any other animal.
All animals are equal.
What,
do you think that this know all guy would want to come back to such a f<>ked up planet.
Signature ? How ?
Didn't you guys get the memo?
He did come back in 1968. San Fransisco to be exact. Sadly for him, there were so many guys with really long hair, beards, simple clothing and spouting profound yet weird crap that nobody noticed yet another one.
=
1)Since Yahweh the Father always changes his mind he hasn't made up his mind.
2)Would you come back here if you were tortured and executed on your last trip?
3)He lost the space time coordinates.
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"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.
When I was catholic I ate him as a Jeezit.
I am truly glad that my dad rejected his family's Catholicism way before I was born.
I've never been to a Eucharist serivce, but I did go to a pre-funeral Catholic Mass for my grandmother way back in '90 or so. I was the second-youngest pall bearer (my brother was younger, by 3 years); we were the grandsons, that was our 'qualification' for being pall bearers. Go figure.
Criminal returning to the scene of the crime?
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin
Too many crosses around.
After the last time, those things give him the willies.
Yeah he still has the scars.
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"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.
Including the whips from the Roman-style cat-o-nine tails? (BTW- that's not the cat-o-nine tails most people think of- that type is a more recent invention... no, the type Jesus would have been beaten with would have been more like a trident with bits of metal at the the end sharp enough to cut glass, and they were called flagra [singular flagrum.])
Here: http://naturesdesignsonline.com/Cat-of-nine-tails.htm
Yet more proof (indirect, I will grant that) that the Gospel accounts are bunk. Though the irony, of course, is that the guy who did this is more than a bit of religious nut job. Read as much as you can; it's entertaining. And informative (when it comes to the scourges, anyway.)
*Our world is far more complex than the rigid structure we want to assign to it, and we will probably never fully understand it.*
"Those believers who are sophisticated enough to understand the paradox have found exciting ways to bend logic into pretzel shapes in order to defend the indefensible." - Hamby
I grounded him. After that least massacre in his name I told him "No rapture for you!"
When you die and go to hell, your eyes will be opened. I accept and will read all email sent to me
Warning I’m not a native English speaker.
http://downloads.khinsider.com/?u=281515 DDR and game sound track download
When you die and cease to exist, it will be far too late to start accepting reality. On the other hand, if we wake up in hell, it will be painfully obvious that there is a god, and we'll adjust our positions accordingly.
Either way, you're fucked. Either way, we win.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
God himself must have a very frustrated parent because he never seems to want to clean up his own mess.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog