Socializing
Offline I have lived all over the world and just recently moved to Texas. Unfortunately I have found it very hard to find a way to socialize without getting into the whole God business. The first thing you get hit with here is 'where do you go to church' and if you say you don't some people just walk off. I know there are non-believers/critics/agnostics/atheists out there, where do they meet and get their social networks up and running?
I was raised a christian but find it hard to believe, there are just too many questions, too much repression and too much controlling of the crowd in the religion business. But I am somewhat new at the situation of having to actually defend or explain myself. In Europe it's fine if you discuss or criticize religion, even in the middle east it wasn't a problem (we were all infidels anyway 
) but here, especially in Texas it seems to be quite an issue .
Let me know what your experience is, how you deal with the socializing issue etc.
- Login to post comments
By leaving Texas
I never considered "Not socializing" with inferior beings to be an issue ^_^
What Would Kharn Do?
Hi,
Welcome to the site and to Texas. I've only been on this site for about a week, but I've been in Texas all my life. I think the best way to meet up with "free-thinkers" whether online or offline, is to do what you're doing now. Unfortunately, there aren't too many places in Texas where you can meet other non-believers, and even fewer opportunities to even mention the subject. Since this is such a traditional, close-minded part of the country, you should pick and choose the best times to reach out to others on the subject of religion. You should definitely not be intimidated and allow others to bully you around, but instead realize the chances of being alienated from certain people. If being ousted doesn't really bother you, speak your mind
Now if you simply want to make friends and avoid the subject of theology altogether (like you would be able to do anywhere else outside the bible belt), you just have to avoid certain places. If you live in a major city like Dallas or Houston, you really won't have to worry about religious pressure too much. Austin is pretty much the most liberal city in Texas, so if it becomes too much of a problem, moving in that general vicinity wouldn't be a bad idea. If you live in a small town you'll just have to adjust. It's amazing how modern a place like Houston can seem compared to a city like "Cut-n-Shoot" (not exaggerating on the name of that city...I used to live there).
As far as my own personal experience goes, I find it best to just keep my thoughts to myself (at least offline). If I'm ever pressured into a religious conversation I'll speak my mind, but the intolerance is sickening. Wearing trendy anti-theist shirts or bashing Christians might sound like a good way of spreading the cause, but if you live in a part of the country where people will just mock you or worse...it's not worth it. You're not going to get people to behave rationally in some parts of Texas.
Anyway, you can count me as a friend :3
Thanks doomed Soul
Moving is not really an option at the moment since my husband's job is here in Houston
.
I don't have a problem with socializing with anybody but if you have children things are just a little different. My child went to kindergarten this year and I could not believe the stories he came and told me and what GOD was suppose to be responsible or credited for. If you have a classroom full of 'friends' like that for your child and you want to socialize but all the mothers want to know is what denomination you belong to, it can get difficult. I don't want my child to be rejected because of my non-believes. We raised it without any religion and it is amazing the questions it comes up with. Pure and honest. But anyway, I would love to just tell everybody that I don't believe in a bunch of contradicting BS and fabricated books, but it's just not only about me
.
I live in north Houston and believe me, it seems to be more conservative then the small town I lived before on the Texas coast. My child gets ousted just because we have been in the middle east! Uhhhh, the unknown
.
Thanks Flying Spag
I appreciate your comments. Unfortunately I find Houston rather difficult even though it is international. Must be the area we live in. They are more conservative here
.
I just found this site and am really excited about it.
We used to live close to Corpus Christi in a small town and there I had an old neighbor who was an atheist. I love to visit with him and just joke around or talk about being an atheist and our experiences before.
There are some out there but they seem to be far and few apart. I am really flabbergasted about the influence the churches have in Texas. People even choose their churches according to where the strongest political party members go to church. It's a networking base for people and I wish there was something out there that would exist that was such a strong networking platform for us as well.
Thanks for being a friend
, I appreciate that very much.
Welcome.
Population centers like Austin are fine, but if you live in a small town in Texas, then websites like this one are probably, by far, the best way to socialize.
As for dealing with religion related topics, I usually keep my opinions to myself. If someone asks me, however, I won't hesitate to speak my mind. Read a few books and spend a little bit of time learning, and you should be able to defend your positions on topics quite effortlessly, since the average Christian is pretty clueless, even concerning their own religion.
Edit: Oh, so it's Houston. You should always be able to find like-minded people in such a big place. Either way, this website will be here.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare
I live about 20 minutes north of Houston. And yeah, I've been planning on moving to Canada or Oregon/Washington/Colorado for a while now (somewhere without the 100% humidity and theists). If I didn't have family here I would have left immediately.
so you must be close.
Probably, I live in the Woodlands. Where do you live?
Well, kids are going to ask tough questions mo matter what. If it has not happened yet, expect “why is the sky blue?”. If you want to go into Raleigh Scattering with a five year old, far be it for me to stop you but it is a losing proposition. In your case, you should also expect to get “does god know that we don't believe in him?”. Really, it is the same thing. The rug rat is just trying to figure out the world.
As far as your social life goes, you might be best served by going into stealth mode. See what church oriented groups are in your area that do not involve actually going to church. As an example, locally, we have a group called “theology on tap” with rotating priests from various denominations talking theology in a local bar. Heck but I get to drink beer while that is going on.
If you can find something like that, then go for it. Just remember not to ask hard questions like “If god does not like abortion why is it never mentioned in the bible?”. Stick to stuff that is full of weak sauce like “Since I am already saved, is there a sin so bad that I could lose that status?”. Google a “Christian FAQ” and you will get plenty of ideas for that.
If you do that right, the question about where you go to church should be replaced, in most people's minds, by “Obviously she goes to a different church than I do”. That being said, there are going to be tough situations that just can't be ducked. Here I am reminded of my mother's funeral. Honestly, there was no way to avoid going to church but heck, that is only going to happen once and I can find lots of ways to waste my time that are on par with that.
=
Kingwood
Oh yah we're really close =D
Hmm. Maybe I formulated my blurb unclear. I am not having problems with questions my 6year old comes up with about God. I just was voicing that I am surprised how not separated the Church and school system are and how much Moms select playmates according to the child's background and religion.
I guess I was just thinking out loud. I am so excited to have found this site and to be able to say anything about not God 
.
The stealth mode sounds good. I have done that before and I don't have a problem with doing it. It just would be great to be around open minded people who aren't so judgmental. Hmmm an other contradiction to their own religious believes, right
?
Thanks for all the input, I really appreciate it. There must be more of us out there that are open minded then I thought
.
Don't count on that being the best thing for you. One of my atheist friends is a guy who moved from Texas to Canada several years ago because his mother is a doctor who has no qualms about performing abortions. He ended up in the great state of Connecticut because it is a safer place for the family to live.
=
Hah, I've taken such things into consideration. There's actually some parts of Canada that are more tolerant than others, just like in the US. Almost like night and day when comparing some of the provinces. Also, just because I'm an anti-theist, doesn't necessarily mean I'm a liberal. I'm actually libertarian who leans more to the right. I just want to get away from the religious ignorance that plagues this state. Tbh, I'm not entirely pro-choice. I think it's appropriate sometimes, but for example, I don't think a woman should be allowed to get an abortion if the father wants to keep the baby. I don't think it's right to simply say it's "her body," when he has just as much stake in the creation of the baby, too.
No prob ;D
Then you might be closer to me than most of the people around here.
I think that abortion is creepy and weird but I don't see a way to give fathers a right to force the matter that does not involve reproduction slavery on the part of the mother. If you can fill that particular blank, I would love to hear how.
On other matters, I would put like 500+ nuclear artillery shells on the border of North Korea and then call Kim Jong (mentally) Ill and tell him that he is bringing a knife to a gun fight.
Speaking of guns, would you have a link to the clip “real American heroes” without the bud light overlay? I have goggled in many times and I have never found what the original song is. Since you are from Texas and a libertarian, I will tell you that my intention is to make a “Joe Horn” version of the bud light commercial.
=
Basically, I don't think abortions should be allowed at all unless there are special circumstances. If a father doesn't agree, I don't think the abortion should be allowed. Whether the mother wants to give her rights to the father is up to her. If a 15 year old girl wants an abortion because she's not ready, she shouldn't have unprotected sex. I think it's irresponsible to abort the fetus and an excuse to say you're not ready. Some people just have to grow up faster than others. In the situation of rape I think it should allowed because (and I know this might sound horrible) if a woman doesn't want to be reminded of what happened by having a baby made from the man who raped her, I think that's her decision. Also, if there's major health concerns with the baby that would impair his or her quality of life, I think it's ok. Just like divorce, I think there should be stricter penalties to help discourage abortion, because the amount of both is disgustingly too high.
Lol, I think nuclear arms should be mentioned as little as possible because deploying them anywhere on the planet is just bad for everyone. However, I think Kim Jong Ill should be removed from power immediately (the way we eliminated leaders in South America and Africa in the past)...by an "accidental plane crash," or "mysterious illness." ;D
Actually I don't. Despite the assumed reputation, I don't even drink beer (lol I know). I drink fruity drinks, usually mixed with vodka. Believe me, I REALLY don't belong in this state. I don't even have an accent.
There's a very active atheist community in Austin (not surprisingly called the Atheist Community of Austin). They have a very popular TV show called The Atheist Experience.
So, while they are in Austin, I bet they have connections to people in Houston. You should contact them and see if they know any groups in Houston.
Wonderist on Facebook — Support the idea of wonderism by 'liking' the Wonderism page — or join the open Wonderism group to take part in the discussion!
Gnu Atheism Facebook group — All gnu-friendly RRS members welcome (including Luminon!) — Try something gnu!