Who would win in this fight?
Offline A TseTse Fly
OR
Ingrid Newkirk (PETA President)
BACKGROUND ON THE FIGHTERS:
TseTse Fly: African fly that is a blood parasite like a mosquito. When bitten, it can give the victim "sleeping sickness." Sleeping sickness begins with a tsetse bite leading to an inoculation in the sub-cutaneous tissue. The infection moves into the lymphatic system leading to a characteristic swelling of the lymph glands which is called Winterbottom's sign. The infection progresses into the blood stream and eventually crosses into the central nervous system and invades the brain leading to extreme lethargy and eventually to death.
Ingrid Newkirk: Peta President and cofounder Ingrid Newkirk has led the world's largest animal rights organization for more than 25 years. Her passion and dedication to making this world a better place for all living beings has inspired countless others to do what they can to help animals.
RULES FOR THE FIGHT:
1. Fight is staged in an 12' X 12' room with no way out.
2. Ingrid is armed with one fly swatter, but unfortunately no clothes.
3. After 24 hours, if a winner is not decided the lights in the room are turned off.
4. After 72 hours, the room is opened and the fighter with the most mobility is the winner. The loser stays in the room until she/it dies.
Who do you pick?
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eh... couple questions...
Whats the average lifespan of that Tsetse fly?
Is the fight recorded on video?
edit; OH! and is the fly's uh... infection thingy, biological based, or just mere chemical?
What Would Kharn Do?
Assuming that the Tsetse fly would win if left unswatted, I have to vote for the weird PETA lady.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare
Lol honestly, the chances of it doing serious harm in just 3 days is very unlikely. I think the effects can kick in a week to up to a year. I just made this to combat PETA getting pissed off at Obama for swatting a fly and killing it.
I wanted to pick a mosquito with Malaria but even that takes a while to kick in.
I GUESS, you could always change the scenario having Ingrid with a Tiger carrying a gun or something :3
"frickin sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads."
Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare
not bad not bad, although a great white doesn't need much to work with. Maybe Ingrid getting a harpoon gun and the Shark getting one prick on Ingrid's finger by a needle.
Awh... dont start that... i was taking a logical approach to who would win the fight... -_-
Tsetse obviously wouldnt win if its lifespan was less than 3days
If a video camera was present, the stupid fly would be to busy crawling all over it, trying to eat the radiant light
and if the flys injection was biological based (aka virus) then the effects would actually have a chance of appearing before the fights end.
Now... besides all this... we should all know the dumb bitch would NEVER kill a fly ( 90% sure shes even been recorded as saying such), and if she did, AND it was video taped, we could get her removed as head of PETA! or blackmail... that works too... you know how petards are!
... some times... the way my brain works, amuses me greatly o_O
What Would Kharn Do?
The lifespan of a tsetse fly is 1 - 3 months.
I really want to put that bitch in a room with a tiger. If she doesn't kill the tiger she deserves to die.
... doesnt matter what you give most humans... the chances of them killing a full grown wild tiger in a room, before it kills them... is so very fuckin tiny >.<
I dont even think i'd be able to pull it off with a katana! (and we all know katana > everything )
.... but i'd still be willing to try!
*TONIGHT! on the News at 6! *
Some idiot attempts to kill a tiger with a sword, and ends up being meow-mix!
What Would Kharn Do?
Tiger and Peta president.
34.
Fuck... thats to tempting!
Here i come, Google!
What Would Kharn Do?
Right... so, this is all i got
.... ALSO... i see Tiger Woods, in a whole new light...
What Would Kharn Do?
Ok, here you go...
Take the scenario from the movie "Saw."
Ingrid's foot is shackled, but the chain goes to another shackle that's wrapped around the neck of a dog (on too tight to have the head pulled through). That shackle is chained to the wall. Ingrid can saw her own foot off, or saw off the dog's head.
Which do you pick?
Ingrid would saw her foot off... as would a sizable portion of PETA members... sad, really >.>
What Would Kharn Do?
If it is attached to a shackle around the neck of the dog, which is chained to the wall, then cutting the head off the dog wouldn't do anything to free you.
You would still be chained to a shackle that is chained to the wall.
Theism is why we can't have nice things.
What is this all about? I possibly don't get some hidden reference, to make this thread funny
You're right, that's why I shouldn't be making posts like that in the middle of the night.
I guess I pick terrorist over insect, so Ingrid.
Particularly if she were trying to "save" the fly.
"Do not, as some ungracious pastors do, show me the steep and thorny way to heaven. Whiles, like a puff'd and reckless libertine, himself the primrose path of dalliance treads. And recks not his own rede."
What about Ingrid Newkirk vs. a pit full of venomous snakes?
=
Oh oh oh, so maybe it's two different chains! There's two different chains around the neck of the dog. The one closer to the head is connected to Ingrid's foot. The one further from the head is connected to the wall. So, if you saw off the dog's head between the two chains, Ingrid's foot will only be chained to the dog's head.
Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare
If she cuts her foot off she's not likely to live, so I'm going to go with the dog's head. She might act all righteous but I bet if the chips were down she'd choose her life over anyone else's.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
MySpace
except dogs can usually slip any collar they really want to, they have excess skin around the nape of their neck so it would probably work to yank the dog really hard until you are free.
If there was no dog, I would probably end up breaking bones. I don't see why they didn't do that honestly. He had the tools to make his foot into partial-pulp. Instead he went to cutting.
Theism is why we can't have nice things.
One of them did in Saw 3 (or was it 4?)
My Brand New Blog - Jesu Ad Nauseum.
God of the Gaps: As knowledge approaches infinity, God approaches zero. It's introductory calculus.
I put Ingrid, smothered in barbecue sauce, in the middle of a very large group of *Spotted Hyena.
( *physically, the largest variety of hyena and active hunters who compete with lions. They're pretty frickin' brutal, after bringing their prey to the ground they begin eating their prey while it is still alive....
. Bye Ingrid ! )
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
how about Ingrid and a colony of army ants, I would like to see her not take a swat at one of them while they eat her alive.
"Take all the heads of the people
and hang them up before the Lord
against the sun.” -- Numbers 25:4
...Are you an actual sadist, FSM? Or (like most ED fanboys) are you actually just a lame little pussy that likes to pretend on the internet that they can take on the world and nary shed a tear?
Yeah, it was a dick move on PETA's part to criticize Obama for swatting a disease carrying insect (well, it was borderline insane, really), but they do make some solid points about our treatment of animals and are one of the only organizations in existence that works to raise awareness on the issue (naturally, as such, they tend to get really carried away). What would you do if you were chained to a dog and the only possible means of escape was to either remove your own limb or the dog's head? Could you decapitate a screaming dog? I'm pretty sure I couldn't, and I definitely sure that if I did it would be something that would haunt me for a rather long time afterward.
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
OR, option 3: I made an exaggerated point to mimic the insanity of PETA. The ASPCA is a good organization for animal rights and awareness. PETA is an extremist group bent on depreciating human life by idolizing every other living creature. Now let me ask you a question, are you an asshole? Or (like most moderators) are you just a lame little pussy who likes to play authoritarian?
Took the words right out of my mouth.
"Do not, as some ungracious pastors do, show me the steep and thorny way to heaven. Whiles, like a puff'd and reckless libertine, himself the primrose path of dalliance treads. And recks not his own rede."
Oh and speaking of ED...
The first one.
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
...Now, I'm not saying that PETA is particularly ethical organization, or even that they do more good than harm. What PETA does do that organizations like the ASPCA do not that I think should be appreciated is the not-so-glamorous work of keeping people accountable, and it's largely this fact - not their outrageous pamphlets or criticisms - that have made them so disliked. At the end of the day somebody has to gets their hands dirty, and more often than not PETA (for better or worse) volunteers themselves to that position.
Let me ask you something, FSM: are you an Anonymous supporter?
- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940
So, you both agree that PETA is crazy, but has some good points to make about animal rights. Where's the dispute?
Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare
I'm a PETA supporter.
I don't agree with a lot of their stances, but they make a lot of valid points and give exposure to bad things that end up improving them due to the negative publicity.
I think they do a very important role of pointing out horrible conditions in our food supply.
There isn't anything wrong with more oversight.
Theism is why we can't have nice things.
If she is naked, I would like the lights turned off from the start.
Full agreement.
If it was recorded, and the fly were capable of killing her in the time mentioned(use a scorpion maybe?), we'd be given the most entertaining footage ever. But please... let her wear underwear...
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
Okay, most humans, but how about someone who at least has SOME edged weapon training. Obviously, the canonical katana > everything applies, there. Tigers would be an unfortunate target, though, considering there are so few of them (no need to waste a perfectly good tiger). Maybe a bear.
Anyway, that woman is vicious and insane. For real odds, I'd put her in a room with Martha Stewart. Best fight ever. Martha would probably win, because she's crafty, and a scrapper, but with the PETA lady, there's that "crazy factor" that leaves the fight up in the air.
But if Martha won, I would hope that she would eat PETA lady's liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence
Oh, that's it: now you're going to feel the mighty wrath of my moderator power! I'm going to ... edit what you write! No, no -- that's not powerful enough.
I'm going to ... GIVE YOU A WARNING! Yeah! I'm totally warning you right now, not to ... make fun of moderators again. Yeah.
Man, I really told him. Yup. I'm a pretty big deal on the internet. Chicks just flock to this kind of awesome power.
Saint Will: no gyration without funkstification.
fabulae! nil satis firmi video quam ob rem accipere hunc mi expediat metum. - Terence