Important Question!
Posted on: July 11, 2009 - 5:30am
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Important Question!
How do you melt babies into candles?
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Well, I would imagine that you butcher them like you would any other small animal. Then you boil the parts for a day or so like when you make oxtail soup. Then when the pan is cool, you can put it in the fridge for a bid to solidify the fat.
Once you skim the fat off, then it can probably be treated like any other for of tallow for candle making.
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While that does seem a very possible way of making baby candles, it still isn't quite melting babies into candles.
Isn't there a direct baby ---> candle method?
Theism is why we can't have nice things.
Well I've had a look through the literature and can't find any direct baby--->candle techniques... it must he kept secret for the grand master satanists
Forget Jesus, the stars died so that you could be here
- Lawrence Krauss
Damn them and their infernal secrets...Damn them to.!. oh wait.
Pfft...screw melting them down. Scrape out their heads, pop out their eyeballs and you have a baby-o-lantern.
Slowly building a blog at ~
http://obsidianwords.wordpress.com/
Yah, there is also a dry rendering method that is more like melting the baby. However, you first have to shred the baby in a meat grinder powerful enough to shatter bones. When you do that, you end up with a dry residue that is partly powdered baby meat, baby gelatin (cartilage) and bone shards. It really is only useful as animal feed and even then needs further processing to turn it into pet food.
However, if you do it my way, you can then strain the liquid and cook that down to baby au jus, which is good as a base for soup stock or can be used directly to dip your grilled cheese sandwiches in. Also, you get bonus points for making your cheese from the milk that comes from the baby's mother.
Past that, you can separate the bones for numerous uses and set the shredded baby meat aside.
After that, make a dry biscuit dough, knead in the baby meat and add a bit of green food coloring. Roll the dough out to like 3mm thickness, cut it in squares and poke some holes in the soon to be crackers before you bake them to let the steam escape. That will give you your own home made Soylent Green.
So which is it to be? The leftovers become cat food? Or baby soup with grilled (human) cheese sandwiches and Soylent Green on the side?
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You know that it is truly sad that people actually listen to this crap.
I call Poe, I think I actually saw this guy on the Comedy Network. Although I would like to join you guys for some baby-cheese sandwiches.