Ditto...read the subject...

There is this great thing to do when writing something long, paragraphs, learn to use them, learn how to apply them and then do it, because it just looks like a bloody mess to read, and not worth reading if it's going to be a strain on the eyes like this post is.

 I apologize I messed up on this one the other post is easier to read if you all can comment on that one..same story but easier to read and again sorry

Your diligence and commitment suggest to me you could easily hold a job and some of those stances would not be out of place at that cute little cabaret bar on Fitzroy Street in

St Kilda. I think you've been selling yourself short for far too long, Badway. A political future beckons you.

 I concur sir I concur haha

 Now that's funny!and true...I take it you didn't like Die Hard Die Free

Actually, wasn't it called "Live Free or Die Hard"?

I don't think BADWAY deserves "troll" status. I do think he is looking for attention, But we are all social creatures. I would advise BADWAY on any message board not to start new posts every time they make a new paragraph. That is just common sense on any message board and I would give that advice to anyone.

BADWAY, you do not need to impress people. Just be yourself. I speak from experience. I used to throw myself at my parents trying to please them. I used to throw myself at the kids on the street trying to fit in, all the way through high school. That self pity I had for myself hurt me, it did not help me.

People will like you or not like you. Even your family and friends whom like you are not always going to think like you or like everything that you do. The best you can do is take care of yourself, stay out of trouble, and educate yourself.

If you are cross dressing because you like it, that is one thing. But I used to wear a black tassel jacket and sleaveless jean jacket with a rock and roll patch on the back. But I did it to fit in. I did it to shock people and stand out. It was not who I was.

It wasn't until I got out of school that I realized that I did not have to impress people. People like me or they dont, and that is the way life is.

BADWAY just needs to take it easy on new posts and only make new topics when talking about new things. I don't think BADWAY is a troll, but I do think BADWAY is still trying to figure out who he is.

I don't know his age but being a kid, teen or even in your 20s, is a tough and emotional time for anyone. It certainly was for me. But my advice to anyone that age is to be yourself, stay out of trouble and educate yourself. Don't let other people's hang ups become yours.

 You got that right!!!!

I've have said before read the other post it is more legible.

And 2. if you don't like responding to me because I'm so full of myself then I implore you to quit responding...I'm sharing my experiences...read or don't read..your choice I am not holding a Gun to your head!

 I hope this easier to read so you may comment on it easier or better...and again for the error in posting it as it was...

The Doubt

Earlier, I mentioned how I became more interested in befriending Blacks and learning about the history of civil rights ect.

I learned about Emmit Till, Medger Evers, Rosa Parks and so on and loved the PBS series Eyes on the Prize that taught me about the struggle for civil rights and the hostilities that arose from them...the 50's and 60's without question was a tumultous time yet it was also instrumental in the strides that we as a nation overcame to get us to this day and age where we finally can have an African American President irregardless of your dissertation of his presidency and prejudices you may have towards him and how he is handling his duties!

For me I hated the word nigger and tried to learn the origin of the word...I was the white guy who would be among my friends and as they would refer to each other as my nigga..i was the one that intervened and would try to educate my brothers on not using the word because to do so would be slap in the face of the women and men who died under this malicious moniker of Hate!

Now ,you know where my heart was at for most of my life....and dealing with my own family of bigots that wanted not to socialize with me for this....I too, felt like an outcast among my own peers.

In fact, when I was in the 6th grade, I was the most picked on kid in school by my own white brethren...what a joke....but one day as I was in class drawing sitting next to this black kid who I didn't know that well, but he liked to draw too.

Anyway a white kid walked behind me and said something insulting to which Joe I believe was his name turned to me and said "If you want, me and my brothers will take up for you"...I didn't think much of that then, but as I got older I think it was this subtle act of kindness that endeared me to black people......

Needless to say I got into hip hop, rapped, breakdanced...sort of, and to this day still at 42 I love this music...some of it just like say a baby boomer loves classic rock, or Kiss or whatever....

Fast Forward.

I don't read the bible much because I am aware of all the translations and versions and He said she said crap that people like to point out as contradictions in the Holy Word..so in my relationship with God I let Him direct me to what He wants me to know or learn since I don't trust man.

Case in point of Why I believe in God!

After my mom had passed away I eventually got a job at nokia. I use to work 12 hour shifts. 6:30pm to 6:30am.

I had befriended a black Christian there, but one night me and him got into a heated theological debate. So heated, I was in fact, angry! How angry? That following morning as we were getting off work...and getting in my car to head home..from the moment I turned the ignition until I got home I was saying in maching gun fashion...

nigganigganigganigganiggafefoIhateniggas...all the way home!!!

As I pulled into my parking space and turned off the car ...I just sat there crying and upset..UPSET at GOD....I was angry...ANGRY...and as I was crying I told GOD ,I am done with you, no more...I don't believe in you anymore...How could you let me become the very thing I have hated and despised my entire life and argued with family members and others for so long and now I see they were right...I'm done with you!

As I was saying this I was crying hard!

I eventually made my way up to the apartment and once inside...I picked up my bible.

I said if you want me to continue to believe in you then show me..basically. I was not looking for it. Neither in the concordance or index or whatever..I was going to let God reveal to me himself and if He didn't do that then that was going to be it for me. PERIOD.

When I opened the Bible ,I let the pages fall where they may. Then my eyes looked right at a scripture.

I wasn't reading from top to bottom. I wasn't scanning for something to stand out. It was just boom! I opened the book and my eyes went right to the scripture. (It was a long time ago to remember the exact words and when I find it again I' will share that with you all) but it basically said

-There will be times when you will doubt me, but I will always be there!!! -

Suddenly I felt a huge burden lifted off of my shoulders...I was like wow...that was cool...I said immediately..I was sorry and thank you Father for showing me..

Later that night as I went back to work...I went up to the gentleman with whom just 24 hours earlier I had hated in my heart and made peace with him...I told him I was sorry for arguing God's word and as Christian brethren we shouldn't do that.

He also apologized to me as well.

After work as we were both leaving to go home. As I was driving, I saw the most awe inspiring sunrise I had ever seen in my life..

No camera could have captured this beauty and done it justice.

No Davinci, Rembrandt, Michaelangelo, no one could've painted a more inspiring piece of art it was just that beautiful...trust me you have not got a clue and I am sure many of you have seen wonderful sunrises and awesome sunsets...but this was the Mother of them all.

I couldn't even focus on the road to get home...how I did is beyond me. When I got home , I rushed up stairs to let my dog do her thing and I rushed her to get back inside when she was done so I could focus on this sunrise....It was truly Awe inspiring to say the least.

Later that night when I went back to work I wanted to know if this was just a figment of my imagination or grand delusion. I went over to the gentleman who just 48 hrs earlier I hated in my heart, and 24 hrs earlier I made peace with.

As I went up to him , I didn't want to lead him or give any clue to what i was talking about, heck for all he knew I might be asking about something I saw on T.V. or maybe a wreck on the side of the road...I was going to be as vague as I could.

Yo bro, I said, did you see what I saw....his reply

You mean that sunrise!!!!!

It May not mean anything to you guys....but that was an incredible, magnificent moment in my life because, God showed me his word and because I had done what the bible tells us to do when we are angry with our brothers to make peace with them and that sunrise was God's way of saying it's okay...it's okay

I doubted the flying pink unicorn, but then one day I opened the book of flying pink unicorns and the text said "I will be there". I cried, and then everything felt better. 

It saved my life. The flying pink unicorn showed me the words, it told me what to do. Just because it happens to be invisible doesn't mean it isn't there guiding my life. The book said so.

Seriously now. Think about that for a bit.

Good for you, realizing all people are created equal. No need to use the N word though.

Without the Bible you have no basis for belief it is essential to the core of both Judaism and Christianity. You dismissing it so casually seems to be a way to avoid internal conflict regarding the supposed Word of God. You have no way to know that which you perceive as God is not in fact another god or worse yet the evil Satan construct.

OK. You clearly have shown what a hypocrite is with this.

Sounds like you were the one that caused all of this, unless the god has come back to intervene in the world he abandoned in the time of the Titans.

Every Christian I know that has suddenly been inspired with a phase or seen the light suddenly knows exactly which verse by heart. Funny you don't.

And of course it was all the work of the god just for you two, right?

I concur.  Someone clearly didn't get hugged enough as a kid, and is still acting like a kid in order to get cyber-hugs.

 And you keep responding thanks... I just can't get enough.....WOW hey since both of you ladies(I use the term loosely)can't seem to leave me alone...wanna date...I know this really great place it's called a Church.

Now at this place there is a lot of singing I hope you like music! Oh and then there is this hugging thing were people like to show love and not just talk about it...I'm not a jealous guy..You can hug other people too...Oh and theres free food sometimes...I'm not cheap but then again it's not like your used to having men spend money on you anyways right.............nevermind this is just T.D.E.

 Welcome back to Heaven 77.7

I'm your DJ Save E. R.

Where the Hits just keep on coming!

And you keep on taking them while dodging the truth of your position...

Your beliefs come down to "I've had a sucky life but there have been a few things that have turned out in my favor. Because of those good things, I know my version of God is real".

I'm glad you have your invisible friend to give you warm, fuzzy feelings. I grew out of that phase when I was about 8.

I thought about that but I'd would have needed to move your head - you were working and I didn't want to deprive you of your livelihood.