As you point out, that's emotionally charged to the nuts. I might ask what about living forever is so enjoyable. Or why it gives comfort to think that your mother is watching over your shoulder. I'd find it creepy myself.
However, unless the question was phrased perfectly, I'd be more likely to respond with the retort you brought up. I'm not big on people trying to manipulate me with emotions, no matter how close to me they are.

By the way, it looks like you posted from msword. Might I recommend 2 different solutions to the formatting error in your post.
1: use notepad instead of msword.
2: use the paste from word button.

Either of those methods will remove the problem.

Part of the simplicity of our position, is we're equally unsure and skeptical of things that would conceivably be good for us. (surviving death, not christian heaven exactly)    It's not a matter of stacking the deck so we just "skeptic out" of the bad stuff (like the offering plate.) 

I figure lying back to them is hypocritical given our stance, so personally, I'd just say yes... I've seen no convincing evidence for a heaven.

 So when people think that our loved ones are looking down at us, does that mean they see us doing the dirty stuff too? 

 There's no easy answer to this.  This is one of the main reasons I vehemently oppose Christianity.  Its tenets cause this kind of intractable situation.  

I would say something like this:

"I believe that heaven would be a horrible place to be.  I love my friends and family very much, and some of them are not Christians.  Some of my dearly departed loved ones were not Christians either.  I could not -- I would not want to -- spend eternity having to constantly think about the horrible and never-ending torture experienced by my loved ones.

Beyond that, to be honest, I wouldn't want to spend eternity in such a place knowing that even one person was in hell.  Hell is a horrible, cruel, and sadistic place, and I love people too much to wish it on even the worst person.  My belief that your mother is simply "not living" anymore seems much more humanitarian to me.  She will never experience anymore pain.  Her life had meaning to everyone who loved her, and that is a marvelous thing.  I don't need to believe that she's happy now to fondly remember the fact that she was happy in life."

 Simply by asking a question so emotionalloy charged the person is seeking confrontation.... So depending on your relationship with this person, adn whether or not  you want to continue the dialogue... I would simply say "Your Mother is decomposing and being eaten by worms as we speak... any more questions?"

I'm guessing that she breached this subject unprovoked? If your friend initiated it... oops. That was his bad.

I always always avoid conversations with theists about theism unless I can accept that the odds are good I will hurt someone's feelings before it's all said and done. I CERTAINLY avoid getting into it with them when they are at an emotional mood (or if they are just stupid in general).

If he was approached on the topic or the conversation just sort of fell into this place, my response would probably be "Pretty much" (which is honest) or "Look, believe what you want to believe" (which would be a half truth for me).

Personally, I have never been one to beat around the bush or to run from confrontation, so if someone did try to give me a guilt trip with the "are you saying my mother isn't in heaven", I would have to answer, "No I don't think your mother is anything but dead. Anything else, and your just deluding yourself."

I don't make many theistic friends as I don't have the ability to just smile and nod. Some can, I cannot. 

That's easy, just confuse her with many-worlds.

Atheist: "So, technically, your mother isn't even dead in all possible universes- she's still alive and happy!"

Theist: "But that's not my mother, that's the other-mother."

Atheist: "If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.  Seriously, what even is "your mother"?"

Theist: "That mother diverged experientially from mine.  Mine is the mother I had, not the one I could have had."

Atheist: "Then objectively speaking, the whole of space-time is static; the past is still there.  So your exact same mother is still alive in the past."

Theist: "But she's not *really* alive in the past, because she's not having new experiences."

Atheist: "WTF?  Do you want her to have new experiences or not?"

Theist: "Well, either way I won't ever be able to see her again.  Not like in heaven."

Atheist: "Ohhh, I see.  So this isn't about your mother at all; it's about you, and what you want.  Your mother is perfectly happy being spoon-fed caviar by Fabio in some alternate universe, and all you care about is yourself?"

Theist: "...but she won't see *me* again either."

Atheist: "Sure she will; in many of those possible worlds you're also there."

Theist:  "But that isn't me, that's the other me."

Atheist:  "She doesn't know the difference.  To her, it's *her* you.  You're the other you."

Theist: "...But what about me?"

Atheist: "It always comes back to you- see, this isn't about your mother at all."

Theist:  "Well, what do I do?  When I die, I'm just dead?"

Atheist:  "Some of you will be dead.  Some can also be spoon-fed by Fabio."

Theist: "How can I make sure I end up being the one with Fabio, and not the dead one?"

Atheist:  "Maybe I can see what I can do about it... if you make it worth my while..."

Theist: "Really?"

Atheist: "No."

No, I'd rather not. The thought of a mental tyrant, a dictator that punishes our very thoughts is so Orwellian it would terrify me. The very idea of Thought Crime is sickening, and any cosmic deiti(es) who were so tyrannical as to punish the creatures in the universe for it would in no way deserve praise. Turning Voltaire's phrase on it's head, Bakunin was quoted in God and the State as saying, "If god did exist, it would be necessary to abolish him." 

And people talk about this ultimate big brother cult like it is the preferable option when it comes to the origin of themselves! I find it really sad when people find the idea of an incredibly old lineage, with so many twists and turns and so many stories to tell, as some disgusting concept. Obviously that only goes for some of the many gods that human minds have entertained, but to think that even some still view the very idea of daring to think about it like some eternal poison... That's incredibly sad. 

My belief is that when we die, were reincarnated until we are enlightened, and then we release into the cosmos, and the all is released within us. Beautiful....... makes me teary thinking about that, becuase its so.... Artistic. God I love vodun and buddhism....

Though I..... We may be wrong.... The people that share this belief anyway, or for any belief for that matter...

abso-fucking-lutly.

I would hate how..... Fake everything would be. I'd kill myself.

(Its impossible for the soul to burn, by the way. I was once a catholic (when i was 7, lol, i chose to though, my mom was wiccan) And i believed non-believers go to live in a relam where they could be free and happy, without others critisizing their beliefs, and that believers went to a relam where they lived with god...... Thats what i thought when i was little, anyway.)