Never had the experience personally but I'm sure I'd probably try to argue with em till I got tired and then tell them they were going to Hell for not accepting Allah, parroting their arguments back at them but changing the name.

I have a sign on my door stating no soliciting and no proselytizing. I only get about one per year who either doesn't read it or thinks it doesn't apply to them.

I point to the sign and ask if they read it. Those who haven't read the sign get politely rebuffed. The ones who read the sign get told to leave the property, as I intend to call the police.

On the street, a simple "Leave me be, thank you." usually does the trick. On the rare occasion it does not, a reminder that there is a fine line between proselytizing and accosting (often requiring definitions for both "accosting" and "proselytizing" ) gets them to go bother someone else.

Speak softly and politely, it seems to rattle everyone.

but it was in the fall after halloween, but is relevant.

these 2 Jehovah wits knock  on my door while I was doing some tattoos on some people even more degenerate looking than me, and we were all drunk, and I answer the door with no shirt on, latex gloves on, splattered with ink of many colors, and Isaid hell ya, come on in, and both of these guys look like Kip from Napolean dynamite

***pause 2 remind that i am typing one handed and not simply egnorant***

so they come in my apt, this was in hurst, tx, and there are drunken tattooed girls and drunken guys and i am doing tats for free that day, and to them, it must have been like they had walked into the worst den Sodom had to offer. most of the people there didn't know how to speak a compete sentence without the words shit, fuck, and motherfucker in it. they never said a word, they just stood around awkwardly in their short sleeve white button down dress shirts and black poly pants for about 30 mins.

the funniest part to me was that one of them meticulously examined some of my tattooed grapefruits. i would glance at him now and then and he was just mesmerized.

finally, they just kinda slunked off. no one was rude to them, they were just really out of place.

"The Ranting Griffith"(sp) comedian, had a good rant.

I myself once was smoking with my mom on the front porch of her house and a couple JWs pulled into the driveway, walked onto the porch without asking. They approached me and one of them said as I was putting mine out, "You know that is bad for you".

So I over exagerated my moves in extracting another one out of my pack, pulled one out, sniffed it from tip to butt, put it in my mouth, lit it. By that time they were face to face and I blew the smoke right in their face. Without a word, they turned around and left.

What pissed me off is that they walked onto the porch without announcing who they were.

Regardless of what some may think of me, I consider myself to be a genuinely nice person, possessed of formal manners and a decent respect for etiquette. However, I am uncompromising when my principles are assailed. To wit, a Jehovah's Witness group came to my door a while back; I was pleasant, listened with a convincing smile on my face as to the "wonder of it all," and informed them at the end of the session to please refrain from contacting me in the future.

That was when it began...

Admittedly, I drink too much on the weekends, but I defy the person who says to me that 0730 on a Saturday is acceptable for social calls. Having maintained a sufficiently patrician facade of nonchalance and kind indulgence, the third weekend in a row that this intrusion occurred was beyond the pale. Therefore, I resolved to respond in kind: their idiotic suppositions of fantasy should be met with the personification of their conception of a non-believer. 

Thus,

The very next time they came ringing, I answered the door in my underwear, drinking a glass of bourbon, with a holstered pistol strapped to my side and an ornate (to say the least) hat to top off the outfit. I then inquired as to the availability of the junior female of the group for the purposes of procreation. 

Interestingly enough, they have yet to return... 

I am of the same opinion... UE has not only an excellent username, but an excellent attitude towards theology.

I used to live in the middle of nowhere on a dirt road in rural TX, and a couple of Morman guys rode their bicycles up my driveway. one of them was a guy I went to high school with luckily, it had been at least 7 years since I had seen him, but he knew there was zero point in bothering with me, so I showed them around our barn and let them pet the horses and goats, then invited them in as it was pretty hot out, they had some ice tea and were on their way.

Mormans are usually the least obnoxious ones. I had these Baptist Hell House freaks come by my house one time when I was already drunk and pissed the fuck off about some religious idiot I had been reading about and I came unglued on them. I actually chased them to their car hollering and throwing stuff I grabbed off my porch. To make matters worse, it was a man and a woman and their two kids, but I have zero tolerance for inbred white trash telling me that I am going to burn in hell.

If you lived in TX you would have had these encounters many times over like I have. AK is full religious whackos as well, but not too many door to door types.

I let them talk, then laugh and say I am an atheist and that their are crazy people, please get off my property and take their delusions with them, as I close the door.

Xtian!?!?

This is golden, and with your permission, I'd like to steal it!

Regards,

UE

 We get the occasional Jehovah's Witness... we have tried a variety of tactics... The most effective way to get rid of them thus far was for my wife to open the front door topless...

Sorry... Our Sunday mornings are reserved for Duke Ellington, hot coffee, and fluid draining sex... we neither have the time nor the inclination to placate these xenophobic jizzbags when weez gots work ta do...

...regardless.

Just today, I had to work a drive through window with a religious fellow-employee.  She has had a habit lately of saying "Merry Christmas" to as many people through the window, even though I was the one immediately dealing with them.  At the time, I chalked it up to free speech, and didn't give it another thought.  Today, however, she chose to try to tell me that *I* needed to say "Merry Christmas" (...as you can imagine, I didn't...) and when I politely informed her that I didn't believe, and that such would be an act of hypocrisy on my part, she tried to tell me 1) that I was being rude, and 2) that I would be "helping people through tough times."  Apparently, the thought that maybe some of the folks coming to our fast-food restaurant just might not be Christians themselves simply didn't occur to her.  After a few minutes of seeing that I had no intention of doing as she wanted, she left to take orders more towards the front of the store.  She had never done that before today.

Sorry about unloading on this thread...I know this isn't exactly an "I'm getting proselytized" issue...but I just wanted to talk about this somewhere.

Conor

If I'm in a good/bored mood I sometimes end up debating with them. Otherwise I usually hit on the attractive male of the group, if there is one, or ask why they didn't bring one if there isn't.

My partner likes to say things like "Can we hurry this up, my sacrificial goat's probably pissed on the carpet by now."

Thanks for the support, iwbiek.

Conor

It seems they always come early in the morning! I usually just say no thanks and tell them I'm an Atheist. It always works, except for one time. The lady started asking why. I don't mind answering but it's fucking early in the morning and she's asking why I don't believe in a sky-daddy?! I asked her if she would like it if I went with a couple of friends to her house to spread our good news. The last thing I told her was that if I can respect her right to believe she should then respect my right not to. She left with her buddy. I always get little old ladies talking to me in spanish. :s When I was growning up in PR they would come to our house and stand in front of the gate. They would start yelling "Buenos dias!" over and over again until somebody came out.

My thinking is you should treat them how you would like to be treated but sometimes they just ask for you to be rude. I have a two month old, I can't be answering doors at 7 in the morning for some bull crap!

right after you make a couple mil on the stock market and eat your breakfast in bed served to you by an incredibly hot sexy Mexican maid who you are doing on the side. I know where yo' comin' from playa. Word.

where was the flight headed?

they're here in slovakia and two years ago they managed to get their bullshit outfit registered as an official church, mostly via a petition wherein they totally misrepresented themselves.

i told them once when they made the mistake of accosting me in the street, "look, these people don't know who you are, but i'm an american and i know all about your murderous, polygamous past, so go fuck yourselves."  they snorted and moved on.  of course i hate religion in general, but mormons might possibly be at the top of my list.

i teach high school english here (as a foreign language, obviously), and we sometimes have a conversation lesson on religion or philosophy.  while they're pretty strict on secularism in state schools here (thankfully), i never miss an opportunity to talk shit about the mormons, mostly because this country is almost totally catholic, lutheran, or calvinist, so there's virtually zero chance of any of my students being mormon.  and i'd like to keep it that way.

I have to admit, I lol'd. Mostly because I WOULD leave if someone started reading any poetry at all.

I think I'd have punched him out. Unless I was in a witty and cruel mood. If so, I'd have said I'm atheist because I'm homeless. The church took everything and gave nothing in my time of need. I'd have seen how much I could get from him before vanishing.

I'd love to see their faces. Maybe you could spin some beatles records backwards just to put the icing on the cake....Christians or whatever they are, take satan ever so seriously. I can make my mother cry by telling her I love satan and have invited him into my life as my personal saviour. She whimpers: "Be careful - he'll hear you...."

Consider Fonzie over on the 600 million-post 'It Works For Me' thread elsewhere here. Now there's a guy who activates my "Why don't You Fuck Off and Die-ommeter". He insists that I don't believe him about jesus because, as I don't know exactly where we came from and what we are doing on this planet in the universe, satan has personally filled the empty house of my mind (his agonising metaphor) with demons. It's an excellent argument and I would encourage everyone to go over and say hi to the Fonz and tell him he's cool.

Even though you and evidently those on this site believe that the X in place of Christ is an attempt at blasphemy, it is not, so don't get too excited.  The X for Christ goes way back and was invented by Christians, not those outside the church.  Unfortunately, even many Christians do not get this.  So, you might be offending some, but even a little bit of history would show you the error in your thinking.

In Greek, the name of Christ is cristoV.  You will notice that the first two letters are Chi and Rho.  That monogram has been used for ages by the church.  Later, the Rho was dropped and the X (Chi) was used for the name Christ.  Terms such as Xians and Xianity were also used during the days of the printing press to cut down on printing costs.

I get on to Christians for being offended because they do not know the truth so I am letting you in the truth as well.  Xmas, Xian, and Xianity is not blasphemous.  By the way, if you want to steal it UE, it should be Xian, and not Xtian.  The "t" is the last letter of Christ.  The X stands for the entire name of Christ.

Lastly, as one who does share my faith with people - just a simple "I am not interested" is enough.  I have met people who slam the door in my face and I have met people interested in talking.  I am more than happy to debate, talk, etc . . . but there is no reason to be rude.  I really believe that without Christ, a person will go to hell.  It is because of that belief that I care enough to go door-to-door.  It is because of that belief that I spend time on this site.  I agree that late in the evening is not appropriate and early in the morning is not a good idea, but I will say this.  The one going door-to-door is the one spending the day (3 or 4 hours) doing what he or she believes to be best.  It takes a person less than a minute to simply say, "I am not interested, have a nice day."  If the person sharing their faith does not leave, then perhaps a more firm approach is needed.  I have always simply said, "Thank you" and moved on.  I am a Christian (Xian - if that makes you feel better) therefore; I do not believe what Mormons or JW's believe.  When they show up at my door - I will talk with them and show them the error of their belief and then I am done.  If I do not have time - I simply say I am busy, take their literature, and put it in the trash.  I do not agree with them, but I am never rude to them.

"Why should I be kind to horrible people who try and push their beliefs on others...who try and destroy the lives of trusting tribal peoples!!! "

I was a Mormon missionary years ago in South America (Argentina...which is only about 35% trusting tribal people and the rest from Europe). In 2 years' time, I don't feel that I once tried to push anything on anybody. It was always about being there to talk about questions that people had, providing answers when we could, and respecting others' beliefs in the same manner that we hope they will respect ours. Sure we knocked on doors (just not before 10am or after 9pm). And believe it or not, we responded well to an honest and courteous: "Thanks, but no thanks."

I still believe what I believe, because of what it has done for ME in MY life. I don't expect anybody else to believe in something simply because I do. That's what counts most, right? You live your own life, you search for the answers that are there for YOU, and that's what you stick to. When something better comes along, or an idea makes sense, you grab onto THAT one, and so on. Even an Athiest would do well to live life that way. Although I don't agree with the beliefs discussed here, I certainly respect those of you who are true to yourselves, regardless of what your beliefs are. The second you stop searching for meaning to your life is the moment you stop truly living.

What I can't stand, however, is angry intolerance towards people who believe in something different than you. What's the point in getting mad over something you have no control over? Granted, if the dude is knocking at your door at 7am and wants to argue, well...I'll leave that one up to you. Even Mormons like to sleep in on Saturday mornings!

Thanks for letting me contribute!

I don't think we've had but one door 2 door in 5 years where we're at.

I get it on the street downtown in the city I work in going to lunch in the summer.

I just usually tell them no thanks and keep walking.

I agree with you that there is no need to be rude, but that is often easier said than done. Most of the atheists I know (including myself) were raised in a relatively Christian background, and the realisation that you have essentially been lied to about the nature of existence all your life understandably makes some people very angry against all forms of faith. I feel that that is a phase I have moved beyond, but I sympathise with those who cannot be so sanguine about what they (we) see as the propagation of pernicious nonsense. Nevertheless, I think being polite is the only way to respond - even if the missionary is uncomfortably personal or rude, because by remaining calm you have the high ground. I believe someone one said something about turning the other cheek which might be relevant here, but I can't remember who, so let that go.

On the other hand, the idea that what works for you is 'what counts most' is not something I accept. Essentially you are rejecting any notion of objective truth - just one illusion following another until 'something better comes along'.

I tell the biblet humpers even better and newer news. I show them the photographs and news article from Kenya 1988, with their Christ right there, among people, next to Mary Akatsa.
Well, then they I guess start something about the Antichrist. Then I say something like "by their fruits ye shall know them" and show some more of the documentation I have, as the good fruits. A few examples of reincarnation that ancient censors forgot to erase from Bible, are also good things to try.

Well, so it would be, if all locals Jehovah's witnesses wouldn't already know better than step into the very bastion of occultism in this region. My parents managed to scare them away for good, before I grew up and could enjoy them a little. But ocassionally I borrow their pamphlets for a good laugh, if I must wait and have nothing else to read.

Just recently, I borrowed something about technology. "What could possibly Jehovah know about technology?" I wondered, as an Automatization technics graduatee.  So I took that pamphlet and looked at it. The answer was, as I expected, disappointing. Nothing, that's the answer. There is no way how Jahwe can tell me anything about technology, computers, science, and other such interesting topics. All that Jahwe can do, is to pick a few ambiguous quotes from Bible, that tell people to be careful, moderate, forethoughted, and respective to parents, and relate that shit to whatever topic there is. All the Watch tower pamphlets are terribly simple-minded and boring, unless the topic is teenage sex, then there are some interesting stories.

my goodness, you sure are fond of exclamation marks...