Touchdown Jesus, destroyed by lightning

nigelTheBold
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Touchdown Jesus, destroyed by lightning

My wife and I have intended to drive down to see touchdown Jesus, as he apparently struggled up out of the earth near I-75 in southern Ohio. There are few things as odd as giant ugly monuments to faith, and this was one of the oddest. Not as flamboyantly beautiful as Sagrada Familia, nor as strangely humble as the stupas of Ayutthaya, Touchdown Jesus was nevertheless a startling testament to the misdirected passion of faith. Ugly beyond recounting, hysterically either calling an American football field goal, or suckering Charlie Brown into just one more attempt at Lucy's football, Touchdown Jesus has stood beside I-75 for six years.

Last night, Touchdown Jesus died by immolation, set on fire by either Thor or His own Father (eyewitness accounts are unclear). My wife and I are saddened by His passing, as we are no longer have the opportunity to bask in His Ugliest Glory. All that is left is a lifeless charred Terminator skeleton.

I really hope the Solid Rock Church spends another $500,000 to rebuild it. I can imagine no better use for that money.

"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers


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Jesus became a Lightning rod

Jesus became a Lightning rod


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Almighty Zeus has struck

Almighty Zeus has struck down the idol of your false god! Repent sinners and you shall be accepted into the elysian fields.


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wohooo the power of zeus!

wohooo the power of zeus!


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ummmmmmm............

 

 

 

 

                 First commandment says.   "Have no other god before me."      Maybe after 3000 years Thor finally got pissed at the arrogence and DID IT!!!!!!!!!!

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I just heard on my TV News

I just heard on my TV News that the insurance companies are treating it as an "Act of God" !!

That is hysterical!

 

Favorite oxymorons: Gospel Truth, Rational Supernaturalist, Business Ethics, Christian Morality

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BobSpence1 wrote:I just

BobSpence1 wrote:

I just heard on my TV News that the insurance companies are treating it as an "Act of God" !!

That is hysterical!

 

 

Lucky me, I wasn't drinking anything when I read that.  I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

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now that was funny!!!

now that was funny!!!


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cj wrote:BobSpence1 wrote:I

cj wrote:

BobSpence1 wrote:

I just heard on my TV News that the insurance companies are treating it as an "Act of God" !!

That is hysterical!

 

 

Lucky me, I wasn't drinking anything when I read that.  I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

God (supposedly) doesn't like vanity. Jus saying...

(More likely reason:Insurance companies don't like being required to cough up the dough.)

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)


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Do insurance companies cover acts of god?

 

I thought not - now that would be really funny...


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Reminds me of the propensity

Reminds me of the propensity for tornadoes to vaporize churches...


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Kapkao wrote:cj

Kapkao wrote:

cj wrote:

BobSpence1 wrote:

I just heard on my TV News that the insurance companies are treating it as an "Act of God" !!

That is hysterical!

Lucky me, I wasn't drinking anything when I read that.  I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

God (supposedly) doesn't like vanity. Jus saying...

(More likely reason:Insurance companies don't like being required to cough up the dough.)

Of course, 'act pf god' is the standard dodge, we know why they are doing it, but in this case it just so-o-o ironic.

Favorite oxymorons: Gospel Truth, Rational Supernaturalist, Business Ethics, Christian Morality

"Theology is now little more than a branch of human ignorance. Indeed, it is ignorance with wings." - Sam Harris

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Kapkao wrote: 

Kapkao wrote:

 


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Rofl.  Excellent montage. 

Rofl.  Excellent montage.

 

Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.


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@Exc HAHHAHAHAHAHA! Too funny

@Exc HAHHAHAHAHAHA! Too funny


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Words cannot describe the

Words cannot describe the awesome. Nominated for irony of the year award.

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 I just noticed the

 I just noticed the reference in the OP to the stupas of Ayutthaya, which I have actually visited. Was touchdown Jesus a comparable tourist attraction? I do remember waiting for a busload of Japanese tourists to each get their photo taken in front of one of the more prominent stupas just as I was about to take  photo of the stupa itself. I also marveled at the various giant Buddha statues, reclining or occasionally standing, scattered around Thailand. Buddhists in various countries seem to be really into building giant statues of their hero, sometimes, weirdly, inside buildings and caves, like the ones the Taliban destroyed in Afghanistan, so you could not see the whole thing at once.

At least those examples of religious 'folly' were reasonably immune to the normal ravages of time, if not explosives.

Is there something to be said for a 'faith' which would build such a monument out of something so basically insubstantial and flammable?

 

Favorite oxymorons: Gospel Truth, Rational Supernaturalist, Business Ethics, Christian Morality

"Theology is now little more than a branch of human ignorance. Indeed, it is ignorance with wings." - Sam Harris

The path to Truth lies via careful study of reality, not the dreams of our fallible minds - me

From the sublime to the ridiculous: Science -> Philosophy -> Theology


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Vastet wrote:Words cannot

Vastet wrote:
Words cannot describe the awesome. Nominated for irony of the year award.

 

Good... then we agree on something.

I don't think I'll be able to say the same about Iwbiek any time soon, but that isn't exactly keeping me up most nights...

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)


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BobSpence1 wrote: I just

BobSpence1 wrote:

 I just noticed the reference in the OP to the stupas of Ayutthaya, which I have actually visited. Was touchdown Jesus a comparable tourist attraction? I do remember waiting for a busload of Japanese tourists to each get their photo taken in front of one of the more prominent stupas just as I was about to take  photo of the stupa itself. I also marveled at the various giant Buddha statues, reclining or occasionally standing, scattered around Thailand. Buddhists in various countries seem to be really into building giant statues of their hero, sometimes, weirdly, inside buildings and caves, like the ones the Taliban destroyed in Afghanistan, so you could not see the whole thing at once.

At least those examples of religious 'folly' were reasonably immune to the normal ravages of time, if not explosives.

Is there something to be said for a 'faith' which would build such a monument out of something so basically insubstantial and flammable?

 

They are afraid of another "Golden Idol", yet built one anyways, in their own way.

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)


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Actual pictures

"Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. ..." -- Thomas Jefferson


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Kapkao wrote:

Kapkao wrote:

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
Never ever did I say enything about free, I said "free."

=


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 “I can’t

 “I can’t believe Jesus was struck,” said his brother, who noted the giant Hustler Hollywood sign for the adult store across the street was untouched"

I guess man really was made in God's image. I had always figured him for a breast aficionado.

 

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BobSpence1 wrote: I just

BobSpence1 wrote:

 I just noticed the reference in the OP to the stupas of Ayutthaya, which I have actually visited. Was touchdown Jesus a comparable tourist attraction?

Nah. I was being ironical. I love visiting Ayutthaya. There is something simple and elegant about the ruins. I can almost understand Buddhism there, discounting the fantastic elements. Not that I think Buddhism is practical, but walking among the stupas and headless Buddha statues with my Thai friends, I think I had insight into Thai culture I'd never had before.

Touchdown Jesus is exactly the opposite. It demonstrates I understand Christianity pretty well already, at least as it is practiced here in the States.

I really did want to see Touchdown Jesus, and probably will once it's rebuilt. My wife is fascinated by the extreme tackiness of Americans. This statue embodied several of the traits she loves most: gigantism, sheer ugliness, ostentation, the expression of religion as showmanship, and just plain bad taste.

Plus, it looked like Jesus was having a sportsgasm.

Quote:

Is there something to be said for a 'faith' which would build such a monument out of something so basically insubstantial and flammable?

In Europe, they build cathedrals like Sagrada Familia. In the states, we build big fuck-off ugly styrofoam statues, and warehouse-like mega-churches shaped like Noah's Ark.

The stupas have stood for hundreds of years. At least our monuments to God here in the States are guaranteed to disappear after only a few decades.

"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers


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Hey Nigel, I very much agree

Hey Nigel, I very much agree with you about the nature of the stupas, the only sense in which I meant 'comparable' was in the degree of interest they attracted, remembering how managing the tourists visiting Ayutthaya was quite an operation, as I recall.

One of my photos from Ayutthaya, then an impressive Buddha statue from northern Thailand:

    

 

 

Favorite oxymorons: Gospel Truth, Rational Supernaturalist, Business Ethics, Christian Morality

"Theology is now little more than a branch of human ignorance. Indeed, it is ignorance with wings." - Sam Harris

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From the sublime to the ridiculous: Science -> Philosophy -> Theology


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BobSpence1 wrote:Hey Nigel,

BobSpence1 wrote:

Hey Nigel, I very much agree with you about the nature of the stupas, the only sense in which I meant 'comparable' was in the degree of interest they attracted, remembering how managing the tourists visiting Ayutthaya was quite an operation, as I recall.

Those are great pictures. Does that Buddha have breasts?

Sorry -- I did get the "tourist attraction" aspect. I just went off on a tangent about why I wanted to visit TDJ, and neglected to answer your question.

I think TDJ attracts some visitors, just like all of Tacky America attracts visitors. But really, it's not like you're likely to run into more than one or two other tourists. Usually, it'd just be you and the traffic on Interstate 75.

"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers


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nigelTheBold

nigelTheBold wrote:

BobSpence1 wrote:

Hey Nigel, I very much agree with you about the nature of the stupas, the only sense in which I meant 'comparable' was in the degree of interest they attracted, remembering how managing the tourists visiting Ayutthaya was quite an operation, as I recall.

Those are great pictures. Does that Buddha have breasts?

Sorry -- I did get the "tourist attraction" aspect. I just went off on a tangent about why I wanted to visit TDJ, and neglected to answer your question.

I think TDJ attracts some visitors, just like all of Tacky America attracts visitors. But really, it's not like you're likely to run into more than one or two other tourists. Usually, it'd just be you and the traffic on Interstate 75.

I figured you almost certainly did 'get it', just realized I could have made it clearer.

Breasts ... that thought crossed my mind a few times.

Your comment about 'Tacky America' reminds me of a comment by an Australian media personality living in the UK, Clive James, about some typical 'tourist attraction' in the US : that "the reality was tackier than the souvenirs", a comment which came to my mind frequently when travelling around the US.

Favorite oxymorons: Gospel Truth, Rational Supernaturalist, Business Ethics, Christian Morality

"Theology is now little more than a branch of human ignorance. Indeed, it is ignorance with wings." - Sam Harris

The path to Truth lies via careful study of reality, not the dreams of our fallible minds - me

From the sublime to the ridiculous: Science -> Philosophy -> Theology