How and when to talk to children about the god fantasy.
Posted on: August 18, 2011 - 12:27pm
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How and when to talk to children about the god fantasy.
I have a five year old daughter that of course believes in santa, the easter bunny and the tooth fairy. I know that she will grow out of these in time, on her own, with no need for me to ruin her fantasy fun time. However many (most) adults in her life believe that this invisible magic space guy is real, and will gladly back these beliefs to children, which makes it more difficult for the child to see that this falls in the fantasy funtime catagory. I do not want my childs outlook on her life and future to be blurred or henderd in anyway by this fantasy, so if necessary I will have to step in at some point. The saddest part of all this is that its even an issue in the first place. That as a parent I must deal with.
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Your daughter is about the age when you need to have the fantasy vs reality talk. At least, that is what I figured out with my sons.
When my oldest was about 6, he told me he wanted to get run over - so he could have his legs replaced like the "Six Million Dollar Man" and he could run that fast. (Yeah, it was that long ago, he is 40 now.) So we had a discussion about reality and fantasy and how I would be very unhappy and he would not be able to run ever again if he got run over.
I told my guys that the biblical stories were stories, just like fantasies and fairy tales. Stories people tell themselves because they are afraid of the dark. And when they were older, that these stories are because people are afraid of dying. And the harder people try to believe, the more afraid they are. Seemed to work for my guys. You may have to modify it for your daughter.
Hang in there. It is too bad kids don't come with some sort of owner's manual.
-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.
"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken
"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.
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Yah, I tend to agree with cj on this. The Santa thing can run its natural course but your kid is at the age where she is now interacting with more people and you just don't know what they are going to do to her.
I would start to deal with the potential abuse now. The worst case is that it kills Santa a year or so earlier than it might otherwise. She will adapt the same as all kids do. Against that, the benefit of making sure that she knows what is real and what is not is something that done sooner rather than later will save her from so much crap that, if I had kids of my own, I just could not see passing on.
BTW: Welcome to the forums.
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Once upon a time, your daughter will probably ask you questions about god etc. This was the time I answered my daughter's questions and concerns honestly. She's 8 now, she's almost sure the only non-believer in her class, but she still kinda believes in Santa (though I doubt it will last for long). I hope you have more atheists in your area then in my place.