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...therefore god exists.
Posted on: October 16, 2011 - 6:21pm
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...therefore god exists.
Complete the sentence, fill in your favorite theistic "arguments" you've herd over the years.
______________________...therefore god exists.
"Nate, music, notes, harmonies, octaves, where did all this come from?...therefore god exists"
(mod edit: minor, nitpicky spelling. -- natural)
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DNA is a language, only intelligence can create a language therefore god exists.
The one that makes me laugh the most :
You can't prove that he does not exist, therefore god exists.
When they use this argument, I start laughing because I have to rebut with "In other words, the only proof is that there is no proof and no proof means proof ? What kind of proof is that ? "
“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno
The most convincing argument I've heard is, "Kate Beckensale exists, therefore god exists"
www.RichWoodsBlog.com
There are no transitory fossils therefore god exists.
I agree that the existence of Kate Beckinsale causes me to pause, but I have yet to hear a theist put forth this claim.
“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno
Planets and stars are round, nothing else in nature is round, can't explain that, therefor god exists.
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I like banana man's argument.
Atheists think that nothing made everything, which is clearly incoherent, therefore god exists.
My rebuttal is that Ray Ray thinks that something made everything which is clearly less coherent.
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Kate's existence would only prove if god exist he has to be a man.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
The Bible exists therefore god exists
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
Spontaneous generation science has proven wrong, evolution says life came from nothing, therefore god exists.
The 2nd law of thermodynamics. Entropy exists therefore god exists.
Religion Kills !!!
Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.
http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/
* Thought is immaterial, therefore it is supernatural, therefore god exists.
* The law of non contradiction states something cannot be both possible and impossible. God cannot be proved impossible, therefore god exists.
* The literary historical method comprising cross referencing by multiple sources supports the existence of a jesus, prove me wrong using the same method or therefore god exists.
* Humans are moral, therefore god exists.
* The possibility of abiogenesis by pure chance is remote, therefore god exists.
* There must have been a prime mover, therefore god exists.
* Show me clear empirical evidence of transitional fossils or I will be forced to believe in the supernatural and don't call me a walking paradox, you atheist bastard, therefore god exists.
"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck
And I know that is true because god said it in the very book that he, himself wrote. Therefore god exists.
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http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm
My favourites from this list include:
19. Argument from numbers.
(a) Billions of people believe in god.
(b) They can't all be wrong, can they?
(c) Therefore, god exists.
25. Argument from internet authority.
(a) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of god.
(b) Here is the URL.
(c) Therefore, god exists.
30. Arguments from blindness (II)
(a) God is love.
(b) Love is blind.
(c) Stevie Wonder is blind.
(d) Therefore, Stevie Wonder is god.
(e) Therefore, god exists.
108. Argument from Tinkerbell
(a) I really want god to be real.
(b) If you wish for something really hard, it'll come true.
(c) Therefore, god exists.
117. Argument from Preferred Ancestry
(a) I don't want to be related to monkeys.
(b) Therefore, god exists.
193. Argument from Universal Destruction
(a) I woke up this morning and found that the universe still exists.
(b) Therefore, its destruction was averted by god.
(c) Therefore, god exists.
266. Argument from Youth Minister
(a) God is awesome!
(b) Like, totally, dude!
(c) Therefore, god, like, exists and stuff.
312. Argument from Monty Python
(a) Graham Chapman appeared in a film that made fun of jesus.
(b) Graham Chapman died of a horrible, incurable disease.
(c) Therefore, god exists.
(d) And has no sense of humour.
466. Argument from Repetition
(a) God exists.
(b) God exists.
...
(n) God exists.
(n+1) Therefore, god exists.
612. Argument from Chance Encounter
(a) I just looked at my watch and it said 12:34:56.
(b) Therefore, god exists.
:lol: That's like the ones that say : I needed a quarter. When I looked at the sidewalk there was a quarter laying there. What are the chances of that ? Therefore god exists.
“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno
Unless god is a lesbian. Hey, I could dig that idea.
“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno
Look at the green grass and trees how beautiful, therefore God must have made them. (From a science teacher).
Closely related is the proof of creationism:
If man came from monkeys, then why are there still monkeys?
Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen
If Americans came from Europeans, why do Europeans still exist?
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Then why would he be sharing her with mere mortals instead of locking here up in heaven? If god exists, definitely a takesproof:
Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen
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Hold the phone! Who gave Stevie Wonder permission to make such a claim?
Everyone knows that Eric Clapton is god.
Eric Clapton exists, therefore god exists.
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Therefor is a different word than therefore, therefore god exists.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUcrbUCWKQc
www.RichWoodsBlog.com
Yeah well I still see errors. How do we put it?
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Because we europeans are better. Because americans escaped from us. What is the most atheist nation? France.
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Then why did we feel the need to escape in the first place? Oh yes, it is because of how things sucked in Europe back then. It took two wars to secure out hemisphere. Even then we have had to go over there and kick some European ass. Twice even.
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All of the prophecies in the bible (the OT) are true, therefore god is real.
“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)
Bahahahahaha. You don't get away that easily!
That's a far cry from Italy being "the most atheist nation". Remind me, when someone wants to sell a legal, consumer grade product to someone with lots of money and a nation lots of potential buyers, who do they choose again? The Swiss? Germany? France? UK? Spain? G r e e c e? Rrrrrusssia? No, they don't. They sell to us. We're champion heavyweight in terms of earning money and spending it on useless chit. We also have a trade deficit.
Also, we're close to 1st place in terms of campus kids doing remarkably stupid shit with their spare time. These are young adult undergrads, most of whom paid tuition fees with someone's money other than their own. Some of them are ciscofatties. A remarkably entitled and short-sighted bunch, to put it mildly.
“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)
:lol: Good one Kapkao.
“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno
AE, that's royally FUBAR, therefore God exists.
“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)
Sun goes up, sun goes down. Tide goes in, tide goes out.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
Here are some more arguments for God, though most are not real ones, i.e. not things I've actually heard from theists, despite the fact that they probably make no less sense than most of the real ones:
-Some of the best music ever composed is divine. Only God or what comes from God is divine, therefore God exists.
-There's a lot of evil in the world. You can't define evil without comparing it with its opposite, i.e. Good. Only God is really good, therefore God exists.
-My mother and father, as well as my brother, passed away many years ago and I've never heard from them ever since. The bible says the living can not communicate with the dead, so my lack of communication with my dead relatives proves the bible is true. Therefore God exists.
-Many people believe there's a god. According to Jean Chauvin belief is knowledge, so these people know there's a god. I don't believe there's a god, i.e. I know there isn't a god. So there is a god and there isn't a god at the same time. Ok, we have a problem here, but it's easy to solve. We have ample proof of things that exist but no proof of things that don't exist. Therefore God exists. [This is the Argumentum ad Jeanum Chauvinum].
-Many people pray every day that the world does not come to an end tomorrow. The world has never come to an end, so there is a god that answers prayers. Therefore God exists.
-God is a Trinity, i.e. three gods in one. It takes more than a human mind to conceive such an elaborate stupidity, so a god must have thought it. Therefore God exists.
-There are many theists and many theistic websites making incredibly outlandish claims. No human being can be so retarded and still be able to make grammatically and syntactically acceptable sentences, so it's a miracle! Only god's power can perform miracles, therefore God exists.
-Chickens and other birds raise their heads to the sky when they drink water. They do that to thank God for the water He gives them. Therefore God exists. [My grandmother's argument].
-My salary has gone down almost 40% in the last two years, taxation (selectively against salary and wage dependent people - others may have millions in the banks and declare annual incomes of just 6,000 to 12,000 euros!) is sky-rocketing and prices are not falling one cent. It's doubtful that the state will have any money to pay me or any Greek working for the government from next month on. However, here's at least one Greek still sane enough (but no guarantees for the immediate future) to be able to write about something other than his own and his country's plight. Isn't this a miracle? Therefore God exists. [I'll call this the Argument from Postponed Insanity]
Spare the rod and spoil the god!
:D O'Reilly made such a moron out of himself with that one.
Hot water comes out of one tap, cold water comes out of the other, IT ALWAYS HAPPENS. Never a miscommunication.
Everytime that O'Reilly is on the tv, the channel changes, the remote and the tv work in harmony, never a miscommunication.
Therefore god exists.
“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno
It would be comical if people like O crappy didn't truly believe that the universe was simply a marionette under the control of a magical super hero.
I loved it when Tyson got on Cobert and bitch slapped him.
Hey O'crappy, we actually do know why the tides change and we do know why the earth rotates around the sun. O'crappy must have played hookie in his 5th grade science class.
But to this day, it has to be one of the best self inflicted wounds on the side of theists letting a jackass like him try to make arguments for theists. And whats better is that it further exposes Fox News as the joke it really is.
Way to take a knife to a gunfight. If O'crappy is looking for a "Pinhead" he need to look no further than his mirror. Well, he might have to wash off all the narcissistic jizz off of it first.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog