Here is my atheist rendition/rewriting of Ephesians 6:10-17 which Christians consider so profound. You may want to read it in the King James Version to appreciate my word choice, since it's modeled after that translation.

Critical comments welcome. Thanks. It's not T.S. Eliot, but there you have it.

The Armory of God
after Ephesians 6:10-17



Finally, my brethren, be weak in your mind and in the power of your reasoning.

Put on the whole armour of god, that ye may be able to withstand the wiles of the enlightened.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the literati, against thinkers, against the doubters of the darkness of this world, against scientific theories in high regard.

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of god, that ye may be able to remain ignorant in the face of progress, and having proved nothing, to know.

Stand therefore, having your loins wrapped in pudicity, and having on the chinstrap of self-righteousness.

And your feet fettered with the reparation of original sin.

And above all, brandishing the buckler of bigotry wherewith ye shall be able to deflect the darts of debate.

And take the visor of dogma and the foil of faith, which is the ward of god.