I couldn't think of a clever title for my introduction post
Offline Hey all,
I'm Cheese/Christina and I'm an 18 year old college student who is, more or less, an infant atheist. Well, okay, I've always been an atheist, I never even had a use for god until the idea was imposed on my young mind at about 4 or 5 years old. I don't feel as though my parents and the other adults around me gave me much of a choice when it came to religion, they taught me about one religion and one religion only, and that was christianity. When I was a kid I remember getting a little biography about "Buddha" from the children's library and remember my father being somewhat disapproving of that. Honestly, my father and I have always butted heads about nearly everything, about what a disobedient, rebellious child I am, etc. and back when I thought I was a Christian (he used his beliefs to justify his behavior more than once) I got so angry I thought about converting to another religion. I was about 13 back then, and I guess that goes to show that you don't need a whole lot of life experience to know when someone is being a total a-hole. But I digress, anyway, when I was about 14 my mother started going to church and I went with her. I was soon put into their high school youth group, and I think a combination of being desperate for something normal and wanting to fit in, I bought into the whole religion thing so I didn't feel so alone and soon I had even convinced myself that I was a christian. I'd always been more on the liberal side, I think anyway, of politics, but once indoctrinated into this church, I was spoon-fed my political views of "pro-life, no gays, Obama bad" and plenty more. For a while I resisted that, especially the gay marriage thing (ironically I later realized I am gay), but felt pressured to agree so as to fit in. My home life hadn't been great when I started going to church, but it got worse after that, my father lost his job, we were conned by a fake lawyer, our house was foreclosed on, I was beginning to realize that I was not so straight, and my life was total chaos. It was then I really started questioning god and why does god let so many awful things happen to "his people" and I got fed all the regular verses etc. but it didn't help. I became depressed (hell, maybe I already was. I'd had suicidal thoughts at age 12) and eventually turned to self-harm, which is something I still struggle with. It was around this time, 16-ish, that I realize I wasn't all that religious, that I'd never really been, but I'd never been asked what I believed until I felt obligated to answer with christianity. I flirted with the idea of being a deist, an agnostic, and finally realized I'd never believed in god, didn't think one existed, and if the god everyone had preached to me about was real, that I'd rather go to hell anyway. I think that finally letting go of god has been what has helped me accept myself, and others, and has helped push me to want to do things differently so I don't make the same mistakes my parents and other religious people have. However, because of my christian upbringing, I feel that I have a weak knowledge and education about things not christian or even normal subjects (science, history) without a christian lense. Believe me, the indoctrination in my church was heavy, it was connected to a college, a seminary, and the pastor is John MacArthur (if you've heard of him) and he has written several books and been on television and honestly always came off a bit arrogant and totalitarian to me, in the church he was treated like a celebrity, and my church's attitude was "if it doesn't agree with Pastor MacArthur, it's false". The man has his own edition of the bible. Dare I say it, but it seems cult-like to me.
Anyway, this post is getting way too long (I come from a long line of people who like to hear themselves talk, er, or I guess watch themselves type), so I guess I just want to put forth this: I haven't officially "come out" either as an atheist or a lesbian, though I no longer have my religious views set to "private on facebook (am I the only one who actually pays attention to those things?) and usually if I say something either left-sided politically or critical of christians and/or catholics I usually get an earful of it, usually from dad who I could go on for another hour about, describing what a hypocrite and to a point something of a tyrant, but anyway; my question is, does anyone have any advice for me concerning either "coming out" process (I'm specific with the atheism, but if you have insights on the other, go ahead) and how to stand my ground without setting myself up to be accused of being a *insert derogatory term here*?
So there's my story and I'm sticking to it. Probably way more about me than you ever wanted to know! XD
*insert something witty here*
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Welcome!
Despite your long post, I really don't know you or your situation well enough to give you advice. I can only tell you that it'll probably be very difficult.
I am a very strong atheist. I won't go so far as to say that no concept of a god is possible, but I will quickly stand up to people who challenge my lack of beliefs. The best way of doing that was by educating myself, which is something I will recommend to you. If you've been as isolated as it sounds, you may even have to retake some highschool science courses or do some self guided learning on the internet, because religions literally don't often explain what science is, how it works, or what theories are. Let alone the specifics of theories like evolution. They tend to make up their own ideas on what it is, and then smash their own ideas and feel like they've accomplished something.
Prepare for much hate and regular challenges to your position. Not having an answer to this or that attack can make you feel uncertain and/or bullied.
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
But if you've always got a response, then eventually people will quit challenging you every moment of the day, and more importantly you'll become more self confident when you realise just how narrow minded, repetitive, and ignorant those challenges tend to be.
I'll tell you that if I were in your position, it'd get messy real quick. I'm quite willing to suspend contact with anyone, family included, should it become a pain to be in their company. I'd be willing and ready to move out of town and start a new life as far away as possible. But that's me, and it's pretty drastic. I simply have no tolerance for people who attempt to shove religion down my throat.
Good luck!
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
I gather you are from California, I'm from near Toronto in Canada. The rest of the gang here are from all over, some have had their shots and some haven't so look out.
"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."
VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"
If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?
Welcome Cheese!
You aren't alone. In some or fashion we all have had similar experiences with the "age of questions" when we start to become more aware of our surroundings. We question what we were previously taught and we test our own beliefs so that we can understand the changes happening in our body and mind.
I too have butted heads with my parents, but my mother was the one who constantly challenged me for my buddhist beliefs (she is catholic). My father was a bit more liberal although he was a tyrant at given times.
In time you will learn more about yourself and I hope will continue on your path of free-thinking. It's refreshing to get away from those power tripping, control freaks who need people to support their own egos.
Welcome to the forums Cheese.
A good introduction. Many of us were brought up in religious environments. I went to Parochial schools for 9 years. I also have a grad degree from a Jesuit University. My mother was a Lutheran school teacher and implanted the Evangelical teaching from the point I could understand English. Maybe even before. I eventaully came to realize that what I was taught was not true. However, that what I learned has been useful in countering that which I now consider to be storytelling. Instead of being held back in science I however became an engineer. The Jesuit grad school pretty much finished off any beliefs I had.
This forum can be helpful to someone like you by giving you an overall understanding of atheism as well as theistic beliefs. It's your life, take care of it. Harming yourself does nothing but harm you. Every person should be proud of who they are and what they are. Be proud of yourself and take care of yourself.
Welcome and stay a long time.
PJTS
____________________________________________________________
"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me
"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.
How does one "come out" as an atheist?
You invite your friends over for barbecue kittens, draw a pentagram on the floor and drink goats blood, rip the mattress tag off your mattress and record the NFL without their permission.(Note to self: Did I think this, or type it)
Other than that, it really can only be something for you to gauge. Welcome.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
You are super critical of every thing aren't you?
Holly crap dude, it's called A JOKE. I think you are reading too much into that. I was joking about the stupid stereotypes theists can and DO have of atheists.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
We call one of my best friends Cheese. He got his name when he was left alone as a little boy, he called one of his friends' Mom (emergency #) and asked how to make a grilled cheese. lol
I'm relatively new here, but I can tell you that you probably found the right forum. I've checked out some others and they suck. Good threads come and go, so don't be hasty. If you don't feel "in touch" right away, just keep peeking in at least once a day and get the feel of who's who, but don't be afraid to put your 2 cents in or ask questions. Many of us are former christians and we know it's not something you just shake off that easily. Put simply, you've been exposed to mental poison but it is treatable.
When coming out as an atheist you don't have to wear the big "A" on your shirt. Eventually you will get more and more annoyed and maybe even a little angry at christianity. And rightly so. Remember they are the one's with the bullshit story. When you feel that urge to "call them out" on it, do it. You'll find using logic and reason as an argument is not really that difficult. This is a great place to practice because you can take your time to gather your thoughts and even research before you post a reply if you need to. Start a thread and you will see.
As for your sexuality, I'd be gay too if I was a woman. A man's body is just a blunt tool to get shit done and carry around our brains and sperm. Seriously tho, I can't pretend to know how brave you must have to be to come out, but it could be worse. It could be 1945.
Welcome to RRS.
p.s. There are some pretty creepy christians crawling about but don't be afraid. We got your back.
"...but truth is a point of view, and so it is changeable. And to rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment in another world is just as base as to use force." -Hypatia
"...but truth is a point of view, and so it is changeable. And to rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment in another world is just as base as to use force." -Hypatia
Welcome to the forums. I have been an atheist my whole life and have never hid it from anyone so I don't really have any advice to offer on the subject. There are many ex-theists here though from situations similar to yours and several threads laying around here are priceless for the information they can provide you so if you do decide to come out you will be well informed.
Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything you can do to avoid the derogatory terms, they come with the territory and are usually used with the sole goal of shutting you up. Most of us on this site don't know how to shut up no matter how many derogatory terms people want to throw at us. I believe it is healthiest not to take such insults seriously, and even to embrace the terms.
If, if a white man puts his arm around me voluntarily, that's brotherhood. But if you - if you hold a gun on him and make him embrace me and pretend to be friendly or brotherly toward me, then that's not brotherhood, that's hypocrisy.- Malcolm X
^Thank you! Yeah, I fully plan on taking a basic Biology class next semester at my community college, and I also have a few non-creationist books at my disposal, though I do need to search out some more. I've tried to at least begin educating myself because even though I do think that the bible is as Penn Jillette would say "bullshit" but I will definitely have to bone up on my science if I expect to be able to tangle with the religious folks in my life, who are just as stubborn as I am and won't back down easily.
Also, I understand that, and if my religious aunt and mother follow through to uproot our family (minus dad) and move to Wyoming, I will definitely be searching for a place to stay. I've already had a friend say that if worse comes to worse, I could stay with her when she moves to LA. I'm going to start seriously looking for a job so that I at least have a bit of money put away if I need it.
^You would be correct! Very good, I dig diversity B-) Haha I'll watch my back, there's at least one in every crowed, right?
^Many thanks! My mother so far has mostly just assumed I believe the same as her (and we all know that saying about assuming). I recently re-read certain parts of the bible (as if we didn't have plenty of those lying around, even post-move) and I definitely don't think I'll be going back to that religion any time soon. I doubt I'll ascribe to any, but I know if I do find something I agree with, it won't be hastily done and it won't be due to pressure from others like happened previously.
^Thank you! It's very encouraging to hear that your upbringing didn't hinder you and that you were able to become an engineer. I've considered paleontology and forensic anthropology as areas of interest when considering future careers but for reasons both religious and self-esteem based I have doubted whether those would be possible careers for me. This forum definitely seems to be a better source of information of atheism and theism than most, which is part of why I joined it as well as to get "plugged in" as it were to a sort of community of atheists and free-thinkers as it's a little more difficult to come by in my particular neck of the woods (even in California!). Thank you again, I'm trying very hard to take care and also take pride in myself, the struggle can sometimes bring setbacks, but I intend on sticking around both on this forum and life in general.
*snort* That one took me a minute, good one!
Haha, that sounds like something my brother would do, and he's 16! Don't worry, I'll definitely take my time "lurking" and silently reading the threads and discussions and jumping in when and where I feel comfortable. I definitely already am starting to feel more than a bit pissed off at christianity and certain christians who are, as I like to call it "Bible over everything" christians who refuse to acknowledge the possibility of anything else being right, always playing the victim, etc. It's all I can do sometimes to not call bullshit on everything I see, but that would probably be unproductive. You are right, it could be 1945. "Could be worse...could be raining!" (Never mind that, it's just what I thought of). And thank you!
^Thanks! I'm slowly learning to not let the derogatory terms phase me, though I've found that it's a bit more difficult to let them roll off my back if it comes from someone I know and am close to in some respect as opposed to someone I just met or some anonymous person. I guess it's easier to reply "That's head bitch to you!" if it's someone who really knows nothing about you as opposed to someone who knows you a bit better and to a point knows what to say in order to hurt you or shut you down. But I'm learning.
Thanks again everyone who has welcomed me, I definitely feel like this was a good place to start!
*insert something witty here*
I now know you are super critical of every thing. Thanks for clarifying.
My advice to you would be to focus on education and living your life to the utmost fulfillment. Don't let religion or the opinions of others taint your disposition.
Try always to be in control of your anger, with your family or others who have closed their minds. Uncontrolled anger leads to irrationality.
Rebellion with a cause is OK, every dictator is liberated eventually
.
^For sure! And knowing my temper and those of my family especially, when anger gets added in, it can turn to chaos in an instant. My goal is to train myself to remain cool and calm in a debate/argument and let others do the hopping mad bit
*insert something witty here*
Hi,
That's too bad. You're just getting read to go to college and receive propaganda verses an education. I made a thread on a geological research hike that we are doing at Mt. Saint helens with a geologist that will show the errors of evolutionary geology.
It's 200 bucks, if you wish to go i'll get you in for free. My heart goes out to you.
Respectfully,
Jean Chauvin (Jude 3).
A Rational Christian of Intelligence (rare)with a valid and sound justification for my epistemology and a logical refutation for those with logical fallacies and false worldviews upon their normative of thinking in retrospect to objective normative(s). This is only understood via the imago dei in which we all are.
Respectfully,
Jean Chauvin (Jude 3).
Thus concludes our public service announcement on the dangers of feeding your kid lead paint.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
lmao
Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.
trololol
*insert something witty here*
"...but truth is a point of view, and so it is changeable. And to rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment in another world is just as base as to use force." -Hypatia
^Coolness, I've seen a couple of his posts when I've been lurking, I figured he wasn't one to take too seriously.
*insert something witty here*