I thought this was pretty funny :

1. Being gay is not natural. REAL Americans reject unnatural things, like eyeglasses, air conditioners, airplanes and heart transplants.

2.  Legalizing it will open the door to all sorts of behavior, like marrying a dog. After all a dog can give consent and sign a legal contract on it's own. 

3. Straight marriage will not be as sacred if it were allowed. The sanctity of Brittany Spears 55 hour marriage would be ruined. The high divorce rates would become higher. People like me, who live with a woman and are not married would probably not get married.

4. Straight marriage has never changed, black people can not marry white people, women are still property and divorce is illegal. 

5. Gay marriage will make other people gay, just like hanging around really tall people might make you tall. 

6.Straight marriages produce children. Which means that older people, infertile people should not be allowed to marry because our orphanages are not full yet and with a population of 7 billion, the world NEEDS more people. 

7. Straight parents only raise straight children, that PROVES that gay people will only raise gay children

8. Children can never be successful without a female/male role model at home. That is why it should be illegal for single parents to raise their children.

9. In a Christian Theocracy like America, The Bible says it's wrong. (will ignore the parts about stoning people to death for working on Sundays though) Since we are a nation of "traditional family values". 

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of our society. Just like people could never accept cars, longer-life spans, economic changes, computers, E-books and online college courses. All that stuff would change our society too much.