When did Adam get a penis?
Posted on: May 8, 2007 - 5:59am
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When did Adam get a penis?
In the second Genesis story, was Adam created with a penis? If so, why? It wasn't until God brought every single animal on earth before Adam to name that the topic of Adam's loneliness in the garden came up. Strange segue, I thought. Then God performs psychic surgery on Adam, and makes Eve out of a rib. But, if the idea of sexual reproduction followed making making a counterpart for Adam, and making that counterpart seemed an afterthought, why would Adam have any genitals at all?
If Adam was created in God's image, does God have a penis? If so, why?
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p.s., if it was important to God's overall message, Genesis would have read something more like "in the beginning, God had a penis, and it was good..."
Well, you'll be joining us in hell for that comment!
LMAO!
NOW, we find the key to your belief....
God would have to have one - otherwise he couldn't be male.
Also I cite the following:
The "keep your Jesus off my penis video" : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exDo2SMdB-0
The following joke:
"What's white and rains from the sky? The coming of the Lord."
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
Heh heh. Nah. Just saying if we needed to know he would have told us. He didn't so I'm not too worried about it. (Guess what, last Sunday in Sunday school, we talked about....shhhhh....s-e-x! OMG.)
That video is fantasmic. As for the topic of the thread, if Eve was an after thought why did God design us to reproduce in the first place? Did he also then decide to make female animals too, but get bored when it came to making female micro-organisms and give up? Or maybe, hmm, maybe it all actually evolved
.
Atheist Books
Aye?
What did they talk about?
Anything juicy or was it just the same old "NOT TILL YOU'RE MARRIED!!" message?
You're young enough to go to Sunday school?
http://atheismisrational.blogspot.com/
Maybe that's why god is so uptight about sex. He doesn't have a penis!!
God's dickless!!! LOL!!!
Yes, it was about sex in marriage, particularly on the wedding night. We are studying Song of Solomon. Apparently raisin cakes are pretty strong stuff.
At my church, even us old folks get to go. We only make macaroni pictures on the last Sunday of every month tho.
Really? I have got to find this church!!
Oh...nevermind.
Seriously, though, why is religion so damn concerned with the sex lives of their flock? I mean, I took health class in school so it is pretty obvious that fidelity is preferred and taking care of and respecting your own body are really the most important things you can do when it comes to sex. So why does the church have to nose into the bedroom? Do they give you tips to improve things? Videos, magazines, etc.?? (If your church is handing out porn I really must insist that you give me the name of it so I can do some....research.)
Any JAVA coders here...or would that be off topic?
(I'm stuuuuuckkkkkk)
I think the church is all uptight about sex because of one thing: property. I mean, way back when, a guy owned his wife and he owned the children who came from his wife. Those kids would eventually inherit everything the guy owns. So he wants to make sure those kids are his, right? He certainly doesn't want to pass his land and castle off to some bastard son. What better way to ensure that a lady won't stray then to tell them they face eternal hell fire if they do. Just my humble opinion.
If god takes life he's an indian giver
Did you happen to cover sex w/ children ? That appears to a rather huge problem these days and I can't find a single passage in that bible where god forbids it. I mean there are no shortage of preachers using specific bible quotations to scream about the evils of infidelity, adultrey and that awful homosexuality.
I guess that's one of those things that's "not important to god's overall message" then ? Shoot, I guess if we needed to know he would have told us.
"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
George Orwell
Oh no you don't, do not derail this thread too...
LOL.
But I need heeeelp. (Stupid JAVA...grrrrrrr...) Oh, fine. I'll just keep searching the internet... Sorry to interrupt the penis talk.
I thought you said god helped you with your programming problems. Where did he go? Maybe he ran away when we realized he doesn't have a schlong. Or maybe Dahmer got into heaven and ate him.
There are no theists on operating tables.
Now THAT is HILARIOUS~~~!!!!
Is that a bit like the Biblical Karma Sutra?
I'll have to take a look at it later.
So do they give you special tips on how to please your other half?
The bible is against sexual immorality, which would include any form of sex outside of marriage (and it has to be with the person you are married to...thought I better include that since you are playing word games), therefore, sex with kids is obviously out.
I thought the holy spirit took care of the language barrier in Acts 2:8. Guess he's due for an upgrade.
Back on topic: Did adam even get to use his ... thing on eve before getting cast out of the garden? Remember, it wasn't until they ate the fruit that they realized they were naked (?)
There are no theists on operating tables.
What if they are children that are married? Seriously, I'm not being a punk. People used to get married at a very young age, didn't they? In some countries they still do.
If god takes life he's an indian giver
I lost count of the unfounded assumptions in this one.
1. Mainstream society today does not treat sex "lightly." On the contrary, most people are obsessed with it. There is an attitude that it's fun to have lots of sex with lots of different people, but in practice most people end up being involved in a relationship with the people that they have sex with, at least for a little while. Also, marriage is not going anywhere. It is still most people's ultimate goal to fall in love and get married to one special person.
2. I'm not sure how you become "severely damaged" through sex. Unless you're engaged in highly deviant behaviour like prostitution, the most people usually suffer from sex is a broken heart or a rash. The church would like us to think that sex is dangerous so that they can justify trying to control it, but it isn't.
3. Strange that the Bible makes no mention of the wonderful happiness that you will experience if you wait to have sex, but rather goes on at some length about stonings and hellfire for adulterers. Seems a strange way to proceed, if all it is trying to do is promote a healthy lifestyle.
4. I wonder how many women that took the Bible's advice and went to their marriage bed virgins would agree with you that this is the best path to a happy, healthy sex life. I wonder how many of them, having waited all their lives, found themselves tremendously disappointed and unenthusiastic about sex thereafter. I wonder how many went on to joyless sex lives and marital problems because they didn't get a chance to experiement sexually with casual partners and instead got thrown into an all-or-nothing situation with one man, having no idea how to take pleasure for themselves from sex. Actually, I don't have to wonder, I know. Most of them.
5. Actually, the easy way to learn about sex is through open discussions and real sex education, not sermonizing. It wasn't until the church got thrown out of the sex education classroom that women were ever even allowed to feel that they should get something from sex. Most of the generation of women before mine grew up in the sexual environment that was created by the church over the preceding two thousand years. It went like this: learn nothing about sex growing up except that it's dirty and you aren't supposed to do it until marriage. Run around guiltily and secretly as a teenager with no access to birth control. Finally get knocked up some time before you are twenty and have a shotgun wedding with the unfortunate man. Spend the rest of your life trying to avoid the unpleasent chore and ignore the fact that your husband is cheating with younger girls who haven't figured out yet that they hate sex.
Good job church.
Lazy is a word we use when someone isn't doing what we want them to do.
- Dr. Joy Brown
Well I think this is quite a good point. There would be no need for adam to carry any reproductive equipment as there would be no need for reproduction. However (I may be wrong...) adam and eve were going to live forever anyway hence no need for reproduction.
They get chucked out of eden, bang... reproductive requirement. No explicit mention of where they get their gear from. It is a small inconsistency. If you are a theist it is probably inconsequential, but if you are an atheist it is a good example of biblical vagueness and inconsistency.
Religion is the ultimate con-job. It cons the conned, and it cons the conner.
Mr.T : "I ain't gettin' on no damn plane [sic]" - environmentalism at it's best
By people you mean...???
Like when priests abuse young boys?
Then why don't they actually educate them about sex instead of making people feel ashamed?
When I am dead? Sorry, but I do not consider that a reward. I would prefer to be taught and teach respect toward one another regarding sex.
The only weird look I give is when someone stops using their own mind to make decisions.
Actually, your parents made you...they had sex (I hope it was hot and dirty) and nine months later you arrived.
Considering the saturation level of religion in this country, any problems related to sex are clearly a failure on religion's part to adequately "protect their flock".
No, Z is very funny and has a great memory. You do remember telling us that your god sat on your shoulder helping you program, don't you? LOL
lol!
I've got a question here.
You say that sex outside of marriage is immoral.
You have actually given some secular reasons for why you believe this, like health issues. There's two Christian views on morality. One is that God knows what is good and tells his Christians to do what is naturally good, so God's laws are justifiable through secular reasoning. Others think that something is morally right because God commanded it. (i.e. if God wanted to he could command murder tomorrow and it would become morally right because it what God says that defines right and wrong)
If it's the first one then you believe morality is justifiable for secular reasons. (I personally think that this is sensible as it stops people making the mistake that the inquisition made, thinking that God wanted them to murder people)
If so, and if people with 'casual' sex lives were happy and healthy, would you see that as evidence that you had misinterpreted the Bible on sexual morality? Just as the inquisition had done on torture and murder?
Perhaps the reason why the Bible had laws on sex and marriage were necessary for the societies of the time but don't necessarily apply today. (even as an atheist, I think that the societies that wrote the Bible had these laws for a reason.)
I personally think that one night stands are fine...
Tiberian's point was a reply to your point about allowing a relationship to grow. Most people do this out of choice. Many people can't appreciate a proper relationship until they've experienced trying to go without one.
These come through carelessness rather than pre-marital sex.
You're right, there are risks involved with promiscuity, even when the necessary precautions are taken. However, there's a large difference between promiscuity and say, a 2 year relationship.
Sugarfree - you have made mistakes in assuming gender on this site before. Please stop. I am not male and I happen to agree with Tilberian. On these issues, gender does not matter. Education does.
OK, how much of this is real discussion, and how much is just spam?
It says in Genesis right when God created Adam "Male and Female He created them." Clearly implying that Adam and Eve were made on the same day and Genesis 2 is an elaboration.
God created Adam with Eve in mind.
As to what sex God is, I could care less why an immaterial being would choose to be "male." Concidering that the first reference to "Man" being created has a dichotomy drawn between male and female with with no assertion that one is fundamentally better than the other, it doesn't really matter.
"Truth is the cry of all, but the game of the few." George Berkeley
"Truth is always strange — stranger than fiction." Lord Byron
Fixing the world, one dumb idea at a time.
jce - there are few people than can make me snort when I laugh and you officially have become one of them.
I'm going to add my 2 cents into this little soiree if you don't mind. I think the church fucked people up about sex. As humans, we have these natural urges but the church insists we deny them. Boys (and girls, but for some stupid reason people aren't supposed to think girls rub one out), if you masturbate, you will go to hell. Girls are supposed to be chaste and pure for their husbands and ultimately become baby machines. And the guilt! We are not filthy dirty beings because we want pleasure. But it seems as if the church wants us to have sex ONLY for procreation. Does the church teach pleasing your spouse? Are there Sunday school classes on foreplay? I doubt it.
Perhaps if the church lightened up on the hellfire and brimstone when it comes to sex, we might not have so many issues with it in the first place.
On a random note I knew a girl who once said the reason she knew there was no god was because women's orgasms weren't nearly as intense as men's and much harder to come by, being that women can't have intervaginal orgasms. And if there was a god, he a fucking jerk for making women that way.
If god takes life he's an indian giver
There are somewhere in the neighborhood of 362 admonishments in the bible regarding heterosexual adults engaging in sexual "sin". There are (6) for homosexuals. Most of the admonishments are very specific such as the 7th commandment not to commit adultery, which incidentally is punished by the barbaric torture of stoning until dead.
There are specific admonishments not to pick up sticks on the sabbath. There are specific admonishments to abstain from shellfish. There are specific admonishments not to offer incense to Baal.
Nowhere in the bible is there any admonishment not to have sexual relations with a child. Your attempt to apply a catch all to cover for this ommission is typical of theists, but also dishonest. Is "go your way and sin no more" a commandment not to gamble ?
You claimed to know "what was important to god's message". Commandments to abstain from raping children is not in the bible, therefore what actually is "obvious" is that pedophilia is either not important to god or it is in fact, acceptable in his eyes. "If we needed to know he would have told us", right ?
Your god was created by men. Your god's words were written down and then edited by thousands of men. A significant portion of these men who wrote and edited god's words have a lengthy history of liking the practice of raping children. Do you think that might be why god just happened to omit what should have been one of his most important and frequent commandments ?
"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
George Orwell
It says in Genesis right when God created Adam “Male and Female He created them.“ Clearly implying that Adam and Eve were made on the same day and Genesis 2 is an elaboration.
Let's look at it.
GENESIS 1, KJV
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 1:27
GENESIS 2, KJV
And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. 2:7
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. 2:20
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 2:21
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 2:22
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 2:23
It's all vague and reflected nowhere in reality. It could be interpreted different ways, all of them equally hypothetical and masturbatory. In the second story, Adam had named presumably billions of different species before “god” decided to perform psychic surgery on him to create a counterpart (designed based on... wait, is “god” a hermaphrodite? Shit.)
[snippage]
Any JAVA coders here...or would that be off topic?
(I'm stuuuuuckkkkkk)
Are your sausage fingers or three inch pink fingernails hitting adjacent keys?
You know it was custom for men to marry young girls of 12/13 in those days, it actually doesn't rule it out. The virgin Mary (if she existed) would've been this age when she was betrothed to Joe and knocked up. So sex with kids is not frowned upon in the bible. Plus, several biblical characters have several wives, the character Jacob for example (familiar name, can't think why) has three wives. So it's not like no sex outside marraige actually restricts men at least.
I, however am a sinner in this respect as I'm sure most of us here are in respect to the sex outside marraige law. Just out of curiosity, where in the ten commandments does it say anything about sex outside marraige?
Atheist Books
Please, I don't need to know Solomon's techniques. This comment of your is a stretch in my opinion. I'm here talking to you about it now. Do I seem shy or embarrassed about it? (I even said the "p" word a couple times. I'm such a heathen.)