How big is God's penis?

Posted on: June 29, 2007 - 3:46pm #51

Gauche

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I'm with Narcoleptic on

I'm with Narcoleptic on this you guys need to simmah down nah.

Simmuuuuuuuh! Add it up; Simmah plus down, plus nah equals simmah down nah, now simmah down nah!

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Posted on: June 30, 2007 - 1:09am #52

NarcolepticSun

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simple theist wrote: BGH

simple theist wrote:

BGH wrote:
wavefreak wrote:
The perfect size.
LOL, wavefreak.

Actually it probably friggin huge, did you read where he pissed on the earth back in genisis, it flooded the whole damn place.
This post is a perfect example of what I mean by atheist knowing nothing about Christianity.

So... what is your account of the flood, then, Simple? A Sneeze? I see it now... the flood is when god had a bad case of Anthrax...

Understand that this entire thread is for comic relief... being absurdly serious at all times gets on my nerves :-P

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Posted on: June 30, 2007 - 1:11am #53

NarcolepticSun

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ParanoidAgnostic wrote: You

ParanoidAgnostic wrote:

You didn't expect this to turn into a pissing contest?

Hmm... good point... I find it pertinent that I stop it before it becomes a cock-comparison contest :-P

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Posted on: June 30, 2007 - 1:14am #54

NarcolepticSun

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Jacob Cordingley wrote: If

Jacob Cordingley wrote:

If God is everywhere then surely his penis counts for a large percentage of that everywhere. Perhaps something like the local group (of galaxies) is actually occupied by God's dick.

lol... so... are we in the portion consisting of God's left or right testicle? :-P

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Posted on: June 30, 2007 - 3:18am #55

simple theist

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You have a forum for humor.

You have a forum for humor. Also this is titled Atheist vs. Theist and would therefore imply it is to debate, not post something you don't wish to debate.

Second, If you want Christians to stay on the forum, then you should try harder to not offend them.

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Posted on: June 30, 2007 - 7:25am #56

Brian37

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wavefreak wrote: Jacob

wavefreak wrote:

Jacob Cordingley wrote:
If God is everywhere then surely his penis counts for a large percentage of that everywhere. Perhaps something like the local group (of galaxies) is actually occupied by God's dick.

Well, a pantheist would say that everything is god so that makes us all a dick.

Wave, lets reassure everyone here, especially in this thread, that although each of us thinks the other is full of it, I can think of no better thread title to have the ability to call each other a dick.

My point is, you may drive me crazy with your reasoning, but your sense of humor is certainly disarming outside your claims. I think.

Now just accept that my schong is bigger than yours and we wont have any further problems.

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Posted on: June 30, 2007 - 7:29am #57

wavefreak

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Brian37 wrote: Now just

Brian37 wrote:

Now just accept that my schong is bigger than yours and we wont have any further problems.

I can handle your endowment as long as you let me drive.

My Artwork

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Posted on: July 1, 2007 - 1:43am #58

NarcolepticSun

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simple theist wrote: You

simple theist wrote:

You have a forum for humor. Also this is titled Atheist vs. Theist and would therefore imply it is to debate, not post something you don't wish to debate.
Second, If you want Christians to stay on the forum, then you should try harder to not offend them.

Must debates be serious? I had originally envisioned that everyone would be "debating" the size of God's genitals with quaint candor Sticking out tongue

I was imagining someone would say something to the affect of his balls are as big as the sun - to which i would have replied that, since he is "infinite" - his penis must be the smallest organ in his entire body :-P

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Posted on: July 1, 2007 - 11:20pm #59

Susan

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wavefreak wrote: Brian37

wavefreak wrote:

Brian37 wrote:
Now just accept that my schong is bigger than yours and we wont have any further problems.

I can handle your endowment as long as you let me drive.

But, Wave, will you stop and ask for directions when you get lost?

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Posted on: July 2, 2007 - 6:38am #60

NarcolepticSun

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Susan wrote: But, Wave,

Susan wrote:

But, Wave, will you stop and ask for directions when you get lost?

*shock* A man stopping to ask for directions?!? Come now, we know the stereotype... men don't ask for directions... we grunt and moan and are much more likely to burn $1000 of gasoline in vain before ever stopping to make sure we're going where we're suppose to Sticking out tongue

If you're hoping for directions... you'ld better hop on in Eye-wink

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Posted on: July 2, 2007 - 12:50pm #61

Iruka Naminori

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ParanoidAgnostic

ParanoidAgnostic wrote:

Brian37, read the name, not just the "Theist" tag beneath it. Wavefreak is one of the most clear thinking people on this board (possibly the most clear thinking theist) When I have seen him post something ridiculous it has always been a parody of someone else's position and a lot of the time it is a parody of the position of various other theists.

Yeah, he does the same thing to atheists on occasion. I guess his badge should say: "Don't take anything I say seriously."

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Posted on: July 2, 2007 - 1:03pm #62

Iruka Naminori

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BGH wrote: wavefreak

BGH wrote:

wavefreak wrote:
The perfect size.
LOL, wavefreak.

Actually it probably friggin huge, did you read where he pissed on the earth back in genisis, it flooded the whole damn place.

So, how large of a prostate problem must he have in order to prevent this from happening again?

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Posted on: July 2, 2007 - 1:15pm #63

Iruka Naminori

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wavefreak wrote: The

wavefreak wrote:

The evidence I have for my belief is not logical and utterly personal, the details of which I would not share on the open internet. You want a petri dish with god sperm in it. You want verifiable, scientific proof. I ain't got any.
-snip-
I have experienced many things, all of them real. Some of those experiences defy logical and scientific explanation. But again, I am NOT going to share these things on the open internet.
-snip-
The experiences in my life have led me to believe that god exists. The answers that I lack are regarding why this is so even in the face of logic and science. What you would find especially galling is that the most negative experience in my life came at the hands of theists. Give my personal history it would make more sense if I hated theists with a black hearted rage. And yet I don't. It really is quite a conundrum.

I don't blame you for not wanting to share info on the Internets™. I have shared certain things and discovered--belatedly--it was a bad idea.

I have experienced strange things, but in hindsight my experiences can all be chalked up to coincidences (even really strange coincidences can happen) or skewed perception. Of course I cannot comment on your experiences because you have (probably wisely) chosen to withhold information. Even if I could comment, you're the one who has to decide what happened and why.

If I gave my experiences credence and decided they were subjective proof of a god, god is a real asshole--definitely not something I'd want to worship. If maltheism (and isn't that what the Abrahamic religions really are???) is true, I guess he'll have to wait until I'm dead to slowly roast me on a spit over a fire.

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Posted on: July 2, 2007 - 6:04pm #64

jmm

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as far as east is from west.

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Posted on: July 2, 2007 - 7:21pm #65

ParanoidAgnostic

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Iruka Naminori wrote: I

Iruka Naminori wrote:

I guess his badge should say: "Don't take anything I say seriously."

Can I get one of those?

Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm-My-Own-Grandpa!

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Posted on: July 3, 2007 - 1:21am #66

NarcolepticSun

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jmm wrote: as far as east

jmm wrote:

as far as east is from west.

lol... that's a good one Eye-wink

only... aren't East & West side by side - thus meaning the length = 0? hmm... or perhaps you mean god's shlong could line the breadth of the Atlanic?

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