Questions about miracle cures
Offline So I was watching the 700 Club and got to that part at the end after the story of the miracle paraplegic (or whatever) recovery where Pat and Terry send out miracle healings to their viewers. They close their eyes and say things like "I see somebody has vascular problems and now those vascular problems are going away and clearing up." Tonight Pat saw that somebody had an inflamed shoulder and he sent out the miracle cure, and it so happens that my wife has an inflamed shoulder, but she was in the other room when Pat sent out the cure, and when she came into the room afterward it wasn't cured. So this made me wonder about a couple of questions related to the miracle cures which, according to CBN News, really actually work without any doubt.
1. Did Pat's cure fail to help my wife because she happened to be in the other room when he sent it out?
2. What's the range on one of these cures? How close to the TV does she have to be, and can the cure project out the back or side of the TV if she happens not to be in front of it?
3. What if there's a wall or partition in the way--will that block the miracle? What if the partition is only waist-high, or if it's made different materials like paper or lead?
4. What if I had videotaped Pat's cure and then played it back for her later? Would she have gotten the miracle cure then? What if we happen to catch a rerun of that episode later on, or has she just missed her chance for a miracle cure?
"After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up." -Stephen Colbert
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Anticipated response by a pentecostal/charismatic Christian: She wasn't healed because she didn't have enough faith.
Excuse me while I go puke.
Blaeaaaaaaaackkk.
OK. I fell better now.
If there is a hell, there is a special section reserved for people that propogate such trash. There is a demon closing his eyes in rapture, extending his hand towards the sufferer saying "Be FREE of your pain". And nothing happens. Forever.
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Answer: Miracles don't exist. Ask your local magician
Well later on I realized that the show itself was actually not live--presumably it was taped earlier in the day or something since it broadcasts at like 11 at night and I doubt Pat can stay up that late (not to mention being on different times in different time zones). So when they send out the cures, I guess they're seeing into the future or something. It just raises all those questions of exactly how these cures are supposed to be working.
It's just the way that the presentation of the cure segment of the show is always designed to convince viewers:
First there's a vignette about the guy who was paralyzed and the doctors said "he'll never walk" but what do stupid doctors know? So he enlisted his church and everybody to pray for him and now he walks. In your face, science.
Then there's a couple of viewer letters that say things like "I couldn't breath through my left nostril for 10 years..." (I'm not making this up) "...but I was watching 700 Club and Terry sent out a cure for somebody with sinus problems and I could breathe again!" Often there's a viewer mail about somebody who didn't believe being cured spontaneously and being born again as a consequence, implying that getting cured is not a matter of faith.
Then they go to the cure sending--sometimes just a couple of disorders, sometimes it goes on for quite awhile. Then wrap up and roll the credits. Pat Robertson is very into the whole "miracles work" shtick, even sells a couple of books about it.
"After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up." -Stephen Colbert
I just closed my eyes and saw a super douchebag getting rich off old ladies. I often perform these miracle fleecings. Unfortunately, the money never comes to me.
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer