What if a Gorilla accepts Christ?

Mjeck
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What if a Gorilla accepts Christ?

What if a sign language capable gorilla were taught to accept Christ as their personal savior? It seems highly likely that a gorilla could be taught the concept of an afterlife.

Does the gorilla get to go to heaven?

 

 


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Only if he's a good gorilla.

Only if he's a good gorilla.


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Probably, but if he rejects

Probably, but if he rejects christ then he is sentenced to hell, which for a gorilla is throwing suitcases around a 12ft x 12ft  room for all of eternity.


Little Roller U...
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If the gorrila accepts

If the gorrila accepts "regular" Jesus, he goes to "regular" Heaven.

If he accepts Raptor Jesus, he goes to Raptor Heaven.

If he accepts Gorilla Jesus, he goes to Gorilla Heaven.

At least that is my understanding of everything. I could be wrong, you know. But the bible doesn't say Jesus wasn't a raptor. Or a gorilla.

Good night, funny man, and thanks for the laughter.


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Mjeck wrote: What if a

Mjeck wrote:

What if a sign language capable gorilla were taught to accept Christ as their personal savior? It seems highly likely that a gorilla could be taught the concept of an afterlife.

Does the gorilla get to go to heaven?

Just curious, but do you really expect a gorilla to 1. Learn sign language as well as humans do 2. understand the concept of god 3. understand the concept of Jesus' death on the cross 4. understand that he/she is a sinful gorilla and that Jesus died for his/her sins, 5. read the bible, 6. witness to other gorillas about how Jesus died for their sins 7. and lastly, but most importantly, 5. have a serious personal relationship with god?

Quote:

It seems highly likely that a gorilla could be taught the concept of an afterlife.

Really...can you explain how this is likely, i.e. is there any scientific evidence for this, or is this just another opinion?

After reading this post, I'm ROFL. 

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Mjeck
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/

Iruka Naminori
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Mjeck wrote: What if a

Mjeck wrote:

What if a sign language capable gorilla were taught to accept Christ as their personal savior? It seems highly likely that a gorilla could be taught the concept of an afterlife.

Does the gorilla get to go to heaven?

 

 

LOL...one of my more dim-witted profs in college (can't remember his name) actually posited this as a serious question.  I went to a Christian liberal arts college, with a lot of emphasis on the "liberal" part.  Most of the profs actually knew what they were doing.  As a result, I began to question.  Ah, curiosity. Smiling

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wavefreak
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Well ... Jesus died to save

Well ... Jesus died to save humanity. If gorillas need salvation, they will have to crucify a miracle working silverback.


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Hi, Mjeck, and welcome to

Hi, Mjeck, and welcome to the forums!

When you get a minute, we'd love it if you'd hop over to the General Conversation, Introductions and Humor forum and introduce yourself. 

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Master Jedi Dan
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Mjeck

Ok then, so we've gotten a gorilla to understand a couple thousand words.  But how does this show that it could understand the concept of afterlife, heaven or hell?

So that takes one question off my list of problems...but seven still remain.

1. The gorilla must understand the concept of a god

2. The gorilla must understand the concept of Jesus' death on the cross

3. The gorilla must understand that he/she is a sinful gorilla (lol) and that Jesus died for his/her sins

4. The gorilla must read the bible

5. The gorilla must witness to other gorillas about how Jesus died for their sins

7. And most importantly, the gorilla must have a real personal relationship with god

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


Mjeck
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OK, maybe i can knock out a

OK, maybe i can knock out a few more Smiling

 

I was saved when i was 7 or 8. I was told about Jesus and God and about the cross and doing bad things. I didn't have a clear understanding of any of these concepts. I certainly couldn't read the bible without my mother and i definitely didn't witness to anyone. Yet, i prayed and believed; i was saved by any Christian's measure.

Now, a gorilla's level of comprehension certainly matches (or comes near) that of a 7-8 year olds; or a human with mental retardation.

 

Oh, and i just posted an intro Smiling

 


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I should hope not. Imagine

I should hope not. Imagine the disaster that would ensue if Koko's nipple fetish and God's foreskin fetish were combined...

Just dreadful.


Broncosfan
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Mjeck wrote:What if a

Mjeck wrote:

What if a sign language capable gorilla were taught to accept Christ as their personal savior? It seems highly likely that a gorilla could be taught the concept of an afterlife.

Does the gorilla get to go to heaven?

Firstly, thanks for the morning laugh - much appreciated.

You know, I don't believe in pink unicorns, but for the life of me, I couldn't see myself logging onto a web site each day and posting questions to those who do i.e. do you suppose pink unicorns pefer english saddles or western saddles or does size matter when it comes to the length of the horn.

For people who profess not to believe in something, many of you sure seem to spend alot of time talking about something you don't believe in or coming up with wackier and wackier scenarios about something you don't believe.

I'm starting to believe that the mind disorder that I and the other theists suffer from is contagious..!! 

 

Anyways, at 82 posts, I've overstayed my welcome. Thanks for all the chuckles and dialogue - I've enjoyed myself.

Go Red Sox - Go Broncos..!


Master Jedi Dan
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Quote: I was saved when i

Quote:

I was saved when i was 7 or 8. I was told about Jesus and God and about the cross and doing bad things. I didn't have a clear understanding of any of these concepts. I certainly couldn't read the bible without my mother and i definitely didn't witness to anyone. Yet, i prayed and believed; i was saved by any Christian's measure.

Hmmm...well, if you're an atheist now, then were you really "saved" then?  Somehow I don't think so.  According to the theists I know, getting saved isn't just saying some prayer.  It's actually living your everyday life for god.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


Mjeck
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Huh.  I wasn't expecting

Huh. 

I wasn't expecting that response. I suppose if my 7yo life was terminated shortly after i accepted Christ, i would have gone to heaven.  Many Christians do not take issue with seeing your pets in Heaven; or the entire animal kindgom having an afterlife, for that matter.

 I would guess the offensive part is how a gorilla can mimick human nature and reasoning.  If Koko were told about life after death, her instinct for survival would implore her to seek it.

I find the position of, "Well, maybe you weren't saved afterall' a very weak one.  It's unloving and cruel; and dismisses personal experience.  It characterizes any person who ever changed their mind about Christianity as a fraudulent social psychopath.  Lastly, it is believed by the majority of Christians that you can never lose your salvation.

 


wavefreak
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Mjeck wrote: Huh. I

Mjeck wrote:

Huh.

I wasn't expecting that response. I suppose if my 7yo life was terminated shortly after i accepted Christ, i would have gone to heaven. Many Christians do not take issue with seeing your pets in Heaven; or the entire animal kindgom having an afterlife, for that matter.

I would guess the offensive part is how a gorilla can mimick human nature and reasoning. If Koko were told about life after death, her instinct for survival would implore her to seek it.

I find the position of, "Well, maybe you weren't saved afterall' a very weak one. It's unloving and cruel; and dismisses personal experience. It characterizes any person who ever changed their mind about Christianity as a fraudulent social psychopath. Lastly, it is believed by the majority of Christians that you can never lose your salvation.

 

 

What do you believe? That is the important question. It doesn't make sense to ask if gorillas can be saved if you are an atheist. Nobody can be saved. Nothing can be saved. The concept of salvation is flawed beyond repair.  


Mjeck
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oh well, i always thought

oh well, i always thought it was a good question no matter what i believed.

God is imaginary. 


GodHacks
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Makes me remember those good

Makes me remember those good old days when I used to call those christian shows on public access (faking) crying about god condamning dolphins to hell and declaring "God Hate Dolphins".