Once again the religious beliefs of someone in my life have led to strife. This time it was my Zen Buddhist voice teacher and it came completely from left field. 

She has always called me her "star student"...the only student who actually practices and is concerned about improving.  I’ve always paid her on time despite limited funds and she has always assured me she is willing to “work with me” if funds run low.  I’m really not comfortable with that.  I don’t like the feeling of “owing” anything. 

I'm leery of the Abrahamic religions, especially fundy Christianity.  I thought maybe Buddhists weren’t so nucking futs when it came to judging others, but it seems I may have been wrong about that.

For the past couple of months I've had a nasty case of sinusitis.  A CAT scan showed a deviated septum, a chronic infection in my right maxillary sinus and a huge-ass polyp in my left maxillary sinus.  I've been feverish and sick: completely unable to attend my weekly private voice lesson.  All through this my teacher has told me not to worry about it…just get better.

Last week when I called to cancel again, my teacher went ballistic.  She contended I wasn't doing all I could to take care of my health.  Apparently, I am not thinking positively enough because positive thinking equals health.  She started telling me about her husband and that he survived cancer longer because of his positive thinking. (Um…he still died, didn’t he?)  She also believes he was reincarnated, but that don’t make it so.

I’m not denying there is a mind / body connection.  The mind is a part of the body, a physical thing, after all.  Still, I really don’t think I can shrink that polyp and correct the deviated septum with my mind any more than she and her deceased husband could will away the cancer.

When I tried to speak, she interrupted me.  There were veiled threats about others wanting my time slot.

She had never acted like this, so I was completely taken aback.  I hung up on her.

After thinking about it a few days, I have come to the conclusion this is mostly about money (with a side order of self-righteousness).  The money issue does bother her, even though she kept telling me to take my time and get well.  To make it OK to grouse about the money, she had to tell herself I was doing something to make myself sick.  The Buddhist idea of mind over matter fit that niche nicely.  It’s awfully convenient to have religion when you need justification for doing something nasty.

By Monday, I wasn’t any better physically, so I cancelled my personal voice class as well as any scholarship monies headed my way.  I really didn’t have a choice.  I wasn’t getting better and it didn’t sound like the teacher was willing to work with me.

Later that evening I left a message on her machine, telling her she could fill my slot at any time.  She called me later, saying she didn’t want it to end this way.  What choice do I have?  I can’t sing and according to my doctor, this is going to take a long time to fix. 

Also, taking voice from someone requires a certain level of trust.  What my voice teacher did was unprofessional and I’m almost certain she has passed the information on to others who will of course agree with her because she is the teacher.  I got a note from a fellow student telling me to think positively.  That’s all it said.  Gee, I wonder where he got that idea?

She’s behaved very unprofessionally.  Me?  I’m flabbergasted.  I would never have believed her capable of blaming someone for an infection.

Religion...it makes people nucking futs!   

So...anyone know where I can find another voice teacher?