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The time has come to rename "The Holy Bible".
Posted on: November 16, 2007 - 3:17pm
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The time has come to rename "The Holy Bible".
I propose a new, more accurate name for what is now referred to as "The Holy Bible'. For now on it should be called: "The Book of Christian Mythology and Folk Tales".
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I like calling it the "Holey BuyBull."
Sounds good to me. I might make one change and call it "The Collection of Christian Mythology and Folk Tales." Since it is divided up into numerous "books".
Too bad stupidity isn't poisonous.
I vote for 'Frank.'
How about, emergency toliet paper supply?
I like it.
Rolling paper?
You liked whichone?
Could you imagine living in a world where this actually happens and the "holy bible" as we know it becomes a collectible? You would see them up for auction on E*Bay "Slightly used KJV with genlty seasoned leather cover. Signed by Pastor Jones from Cleveland Ohio's 'Christ is Lord Church' during his save the bible movement in <insert date here>."
It would be strange but so satisfying to see any religious text catalouged in the library with The Grimm Fairy Tales or maybe horror?
Slowly building a blog at ~
http://obsidianwords.wordpress.com/
Definately horrer renee
This occured after a monumental journey from Singapore to Lake Toba, Sumatra (A series of stories that run to af ew pages - maybe later I'll tell them) and on to Jodgyakata whereby we found ourselves in a hotel with the last joints worth of North Sumatran gold. This was a day or two before Princess Di died. I was reading Tim Allen's "Don't stand (too close?) to a naked man" and my mate had decided to read from the Bible he had brought along with him simply because he had never read it and wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Random pages where opened for inpiration along our journey!
Well we had no fag (cigerette sp?) papers and the Indonesian ones were crap even though they had gum on them and we couldn't be bothered to go down to the tobbaconist so in desperation we decided to use a page of the bible as the paper for this last joint. We deliberated as to whether it was ethical (yes it was!) but which page should we use? Luckily there were blank pages so we decided that this was less blasphemous and tore out the page and promptly skinned up the offending reefer.
After smoking this we became a bit bored and sedated so I read my book and unbeknown to me my mate on the next bed decided that he was going to wrap his head in the toilet paper and sellotape we had all finished off neatly with a plasitc bag. British people will recognise this "stunt" from the TV programme "Men Behaving Badly" starring Martin clunes.
We were quite stoned and I hadn't realised he had done this cos I was quite absorbed in Tim Allen's musings until there was a knock at the door. It was the maid wanting to come in and clean the room. We had missed the concept of time since the early morning call to prayer and our illegal partaking. She entered to find me in hysterics and my friend desperately tring to remove a large amount of bog roll and sellotape from his noggin!
To all the Christians reading this post, READ REREAD AND REREAD UNTILL IT SOAKS IN!
This will be used falsely by some to go, "SEE, THEY REALLY DO HATE US".
Maybe some atheists DO hate all theists, I will not claim that some dont.
HOWEVER, to say that we shouldnt say these blasphemous things would be the same as trying to tell a Christian they cant say, "You are going to hell"
Bottem line, you think we got it wrong, and vice versa. You vent about us and we vent about you. That is a matter of human nature and blasphemy should not be feared by either side. If I hate anything more that someone equating me to Hitler, it would be a politically correct atheist shouting at that theist, "DONT SAY THAT"!
I am a big boy and can handle myself and dont need pussyfied conversations where people cant fart or blaspheme. If a Christain can understand why Muslim nuts were wrong in threatening death to a cartoonist who dipicted Muhammed with a bomb in his turbin, then you should be able to understand protecting our ability via the Constitution, to blaspheme Christianity as well.
BELIEVE ME, NO ONE IS ASKING YOU TO LIKE IT.
Now, when people talk about "the holy bible" I would only add to that that all mythological ancient books are the same, books of superstition.
However, they ARE usefull in reminding humanity the past absurdities people unfortunatly still believe in today. And although some stories can contain moral motifs, those motifs exist in other religions, and existed in polytheism prior to monotheism, and exist in non-religious cultures as well.
You can find morality in Harry Potter and Dr Sues without litterally believing those stories as fact.
Take heart with these words Christians, we are not out to stick you in ovens, barbaque kittens, or spread cooties. Maybe we are simply using blasphemy to get you to think about the claims you make.
Dont take it personally. Insted of shouting "You hate me. You said I was full of shit"..........Maybe you'd be better off trying to understand WHY we say, "You are full of shit".
We blaspheme Christianity for the same reason we find it rediculous to claim that Jesus is the result of little green men as Scientology would claim, and just as redicious as the Egyptians who litterally believed for 3,000 years that a giant ball of gas, called the sun, was actually a thinking deity.
When you understand why we make that comparisson, you will understand WHY we ridicule holy books. But that doesnt mean that we hate all religous people. We may dislike or even hate the claims you make, but that doesnt mean that we will automatically hate you the individual.
Look at it this way, I could claim, "The New Orlean's Saints won last year's Super Bowl" And you'd be right if you said, "You are full of shit", and then showed me a video of the Colts winning.
That is the way we look at all theistic claims, not just yours. When you understand why you dont find other's deity claims credible you will understand why we reject yours as well. The only differance between you and I is that I reject one more diety claim than you do.
So get over our blasphemy and bluntness and be brave in trying to understand why we say, "Your book is useless". Your book is useless for the same reason the "Ancient Egyptian Book Of The Dead" is useless. It is only usefull in the sense that The Harry Potter books are usefull, as a work of fiction, nothing more.
But dont accuse us of singling out Christianity, we treat the Reg Vedas and Talmud the same. Simply books humans wrote.
As part of literary human history, it is important, but as a reality, holy books are not credible.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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