Dave805Dave805's picture
Posts: 39
Joined: 2007-12-17


I would like to know how (If) the rest of you have come out of the closet about being atheists..

This is especialy relavent at this time of year when people are wishing me merry Christmass and i have a hard time telling them that hey. I do not believe in your god.. etc ..


How do/did you guys tell them.. (Specialy when the majority of your family is realy religious)
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"Religion is regarded by the common people as true.
by the wise as false , and by rulers as useful."

seneca 4-65 CE
(Thanks goes to Little Roller U...for my avitar)
Submitted by Dave805 on December 22, 2007 - 5:46pm. login or register to post comments

shelleymtjoyModerator
shelleymtjoy's picture
Posts: 504
Joined: 2006-12-26
I've been an atheist for so


I've been an atheist for so long I rarely think about telling people anymore. It typically comes out to new people I meet either through myspace, etc. or when they say "What are you doing tomorrow night?" and my response involves some sort of secular gathering.

My family isn't that religious and I don't talk to much of them anyway... they are, for the most part, way to concerned about their own lives to ask me any more than a superficial "how are you doing?"
December 22, 2007 - 8:38pm login or register to post comments

Hillcat
Posts: 21
Joined: 2007-12-03
Dave805 wrote: I would

Dave805 wrote:


I would like to know how (If) the rest of you have come out of the closet about being atheists..

This is especialy relavent at this time of year when people are wishing me merry Christmass and i have a hard time telling them that hey. I do not believe in your god.. etc ..


How do/did you guys tell them.. (Specialy when the majority of your family is realy religious)


I can only speak for myself, and don't pretend to be qualified to dispense advise, but in answer to your question, I will say that it does get easier with time.

I would suggest that you follow your own instincts, (authenticity). We all have different comfort levels with different friends and family members. At first, the most important part is for you to be true to yourself. You've already made that courageous first step...that "leap of faith", in embracing the facts, mental health, and rational thought, over delusion, shame, and voodoo.

The next step might include becoming economically independent from your family. It's much easier to live your own life, if you're not financially beholden to theists.

Once you're financially independent, you can slowly "educate" your family as to the way you wish to be treated. You can begin to decline invitations to religious ceremonies & functions. You can also begin to express various aspects of your new, heightened morality. I don't mean this in an elitist way...but rather as an expression of mutual respect.

When people wish me a Merry X-mas, I try to appraise the situation, and act appropriately, according to my comfort level. There are several responses you (or I) could use, but I'd love to hear what other RRS folk might suggest.

Here are my suggestions:

1) Do not react in any way. Just walk away.

2) Smile, (perhaps in a nurturing, yet disapproving and condescending way, like a grandmother smiling at a misbehaved child), and then walk away.

3) Say "Thank you"...loudly. They're expecting you to wish them a merry x-mas in return, & when you don't, they feel "unreciprocated". It's as if you've taken their (obnoxious) "gift", and walked away with it, leaving nothing in exchange.

4) You could say: "Well, I'm completely nontheistic, but thanks anyway", in a very sincere tone. Or maybe: "I'm an Atheist, but I forgive you". With these responses, you're educating them, correcting them, forgiving them, and dissing them, all at the same time.

5) Finally, if you feel like being confrontational, you might say:

"I can't tell you how offended I am by that sectarian salutation. I'd like to speak to your manager"

or

"You know I'm an Atheist, so I can only guess that by using that particular greeting, you're trying to directly offend me."

or

"You can shove your merry x-mas right up your..."

or

"No Thanks"

or

"...and a very peaceful Winter Solstice to you, dear..."

December 22, 2007 - 9:27pm login or register to post comments