some theists are very, very confused about what others believe
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Around noon today I got a knock on the door. Expecting a package.. no, instead it's the local Jehovah's Witnesses. Again. I try explaining that I'm an atheist; and don't really have any interest in what they say but this seemed to pique their curiosity so I let them in and began answering their questions.
Do atheists worship Satan? No..
Do atheists believe murder is acceptable? No..
Do atheists sacrifice animals? No..
(Yes, I am aware some atheists may or may not but the majority do not and I definitely do not at the very least.) This went on a bit and they seemed mostly satisfied for my helping them clear them up of any (many!) misconceptions they may have had. The mother tells the two children of hers to go on to the next door and she'd be along in a minute after asking one or two more questions. Once they'd left, I had the strangest conversation in some time:
So is it also true about that one thing you do with Satan?
I don't believe that there is a devil, but I'm also not sure of what you are referring to with 'that one thing'
Where you put his.. you know..
I'm afraid I don't know, could you be more explicit?
At this she looks around very nervously and whispers: "is it true that some atheists like to fellate him?"
No, no we do not fellate Satan. At least, I definitely don't.
I know that sociology and game theory essentially states that people like to group together; we marry inside our own groups, play with our own groups, and generally avoid outsiders.
I have the impression though in some instances atheists are such a rarity that many, many misconceptions are allowed to freely grow spread by rumors. Such as that we fellate Satan.
I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
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LOL!!
fellate Satan...hahaha awesome.
You mean you guys don't?
See my sig. below. We've got A LOT of work to do...
Oh man!! Dammit! I thought we were supposed to!! Now I've got TMJ for nothing...
It's great that you set the record straight with the ignorant woman. The only problem is that i'm sure she will have a conversation that goes like:
Woman: I talked to an atheist and he said they do not perform fellatio on satan
Other Theist: Of course he would deny it, he is a spawn of satan and he lies.
Woman: Hmm.. well maybe you are right
Other Theist: Of course i'm right, the bible says atheists perform fellatio on satan, so it is true.
Woman (failing to confirm): Well he lied to me then!
I hardly seeing it go the other way around. Nevertheless... If more atheists stood up against these ridiculous rumors, they might go away.
Exactly! Thats the best perk of being an atheist! I just love sucking that big red satantic love pump Without that little treat every now and again I really don't know if I would be an atheist. I mean what would the point be?
So you're the guy who goes around educatin' 'bout fellatin' satan.
busted...
Yes...there's a lot of misinformation out there. The trouble is, I don't think that some of these groups care very deeply for truth. I've said before that I used to be an e-pologist for Catholicism, and that I was on a Catholic-Fundamentalist debate board, and there were times when the folks on the Fundamentalist side of the fence seemed to not want to have an accurate understanding of Catholic belief. In my brief time as a Mormon, I ran into the same kinds of problems. So I'm not at all surprised that atheists would be on the receiving end of the same type of crap. Although, the whole sexual angle *does* surprise me a bit.
Conor
P.S. to Watcher: If I put on some red makeup, wear a couple of fake horns, and carry a pitchfork...
No. I shouldn't think like that. Sorry.
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"Faith does not fear reason."--Pope Pius XII
"But it should!"--Me
I've heard that a good way of getting rid of the Witnesses is by telling them you used to be one and were thrown out of the organization. Supposedly they're forbidden from talking to you at that point.
Yes, tell them you were a dis-fellowed special pioneer.
They'll avoid you even more than Scientologists will.
A lie is always more intriguing than the truth. It makes you go "wow", while the truth makes you yawn. It's never as interesting or exciting. That is why even skeptics often get caught up in conspiracy theories at first, before they return to logic and reason.
Organised religion is the ultimate form of blasphemy.
Censored and blacked out for internet access in ANZ!
AU: http://nocleanfeed.com/ | NZ: http://nzblackout.org/
That will do the trick. The magic word is "disfellowshipped" if you say that you have been disfellowshipped then no Jehova should speak to you, they should cross the road when you approach etc etc.
Oh yes they are confused if they believe, even them sometimes accidentally start to think and then comes confusion. However they call this differently: SIN.
Ecrasez l'infame!
I'm sorry but did they really ask do we suck the devil's d-ck?!
AND you had just told them you didn't believe in a devil lol. Laugh at them and cry for them.
---George Carlin---
Does anyone have some mouthwash I could use?
No reason, just askin'
Looooooooooooolllllllllll.