First off, I’m not a believer.  Everyone I tell this to that is says they will pray for me so if I am wrong I hope they all have me covered.  All in all I think the God thing is just a bunch of silliness. 

Here is a little something you can do when someone comes to your house asking if you have been saved, found Jesus, etc…  I’ve done this and you don’t have to worry about them coming back.  If they start talking crazy talk, just look at them and say you are sorry but what’s done is done. 

Invite them into the house and give them a piece of paper with the following or similar: 

As an aspiring demon I have live on earth 1746 years taking on the human form 53 times.  To become a demon I must collect 5600 souls as a gift to my lord Satan.

There is only one rule I must follow to be granted a soul. Automatically and unconditionally any human's soul that has not already been assign to eternal damnation and enters my house by invitation will here and throughout eternity become a property of Satan and kingdom in hell.

Please sign below to here acknowledge that you have been notified.  Acknowledging now will be noted and lenience may be granted in the future.  Failure to sign will forfeit any rights to one day become a demon yourself.  Trust me it’s much better than the alternatives.

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