hell
Posted on: March 2, 2007 - 9:03pm
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hell
so, last night i started to read a book titled "23 minutes in hell" describing someone's personal "experience" with the actual hell and supporting it with biblical quotes.
let me tell you, it sounds pretty awesome. youre invincible and you can burn yourself and get stabbed through the chest. ive always wanted to do that. if there is a hell il have a fun time with you all.
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I always said since the vast majority of scientists, engineers, etc will be there they'd figure a way to cool it off and make it nice. And with all the porn stars and such there it'll be a fun place! Heaven - no booze, no porn, no sex, praying all the time? Fuck that!
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I would imagine hell being a big party place or something.
And some guy up in heaven looks "down" at hell, and he starts wanting to go there, then god pops up.
"Why are you looking at hell?"
"It looks kinda cool, you know?"
"You know if you sin and you go down there you can never come up here and be with me ever again!"
"No! God, I love you too much to abandon you!"
God pops away. And he are stuck with the idea of either being with god whom how loves much or the eternal party below.
Can one love god that much?
All the cool people are in Hell.
It will be crowded and they will have a lot of Chinese food.
exactly, we get bruce lee while they get old popes
Something you guys aren't considering...
All the great scientists are there.
All these theists say that god and heaven and hell are completely rational, right? If that's true, and hell exists, then all the scientists are in hell. The scientists are the ones who are the best at using logic, which is the root of rational thought.
Sooooo....
If anyone was ever going to figure out how to build a great big spiritual air conditioning unit, it would be one of those brilliant minds. Then, next thing you know, all the Baptists are up in heaven looking down, saying, "What? We couldn't drink or fuck in life, and now we're stuck up here sucking God's dick for all eternity for giving us the priviledge of not having sex, and all these guys in hell get air conditioned condos and hookers, and they don't have to worry about VD because they can never die! Fuck off, God!"
Then, POOF! they go to hell, because they blasphemed god, and pretty soon, God's up there all by his little lonesome...
Then it hits him, square in the face (or whatever god has). If he'd have just let people fuck more often and not told them about how bad it was and given them all AIDS and herpes, they'd have been perfectly happy to suck his dick for eternity.
Of course, he never knew that because he wasn't smart enough to create a woman for himself, and Jesus never bothered to get laid while he was on earth. (Have you ever thought about how good that is for us mortal men? If Jesus had gone around knocking women up, how could we mere mortals live up to the reputation he surely would have garnered?! Don Juan would have nothing, and to hell with Ron Jeremy... Jesus would have been a machine!)
So, it all comes down to this. God inadvertently created heaven for all the sinners and hell for all the saints, and God's the real loser because he never bothered to get laid.
So says hambydammit.
(If I hadn't guaranteed a place for myself in hell, I think that rant just did it.)
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
That was funny!
The best part is that I wouldn't have to wait for five minutes to heat up my dinner.
I couldn't find my name on that list. Hmmmmm
Heaven is supposed to be hotter then hell, if I remember correctly.
The idea of having an eternity at my disposal to get bored does not appeal to me.
that is brilliant. haha