I started writing this for my own personal amusement but I'm running out of ideas... anyone else got any?

Top ways to know you are religious

-You use the holy book as a tool to verify and prove itself.

-You think a scientific theory is the same as a guess.

-You don't believe in evolution and new strains of bacteria and viruses are poppycock.

-You know that the cruel things your god has done can't be cruel because he did them.

-You believe in evolution but it started when god made the earth and man about 6000 years ago.

-You scoff at other beliefs that are equally unconfirmed because yours is the true one.

-You indoctrinate children before they can think rationally and turn on them if at some future date they disagree.

-You understand that your all loving god has banished most of all the world's men, women and children to burn in hell for eternity and it doesn't bother you.

-You realize your god can't present his holy word in a way lay people can understand so most of its meaning must be interpreted for you.

-You can ignore glaring inconsistencies, cruelty, superstition, bigotry, homophobia, anger, cruelty in your god's word and still call him all powerful, all loving and all seeing.

-You think that believing in something without substantiating evidence is a good thing.

-You believe in a god, you just don't know how or when you came to that conclusion.

-The more science learns about life and the universe, the harder you hang on to the gaps.

-You surf the net, you wife was saved from breast cancer and you child from leukaemia, and you've had a double bypass, but if science contradicts your belief, it's bull.

-You know it wasn't really entrapment when god planted the tree of knowledge so close to Adam and Eve because you believe he is all seeing and he knew they would eat from it before they even saw the tree.

-You understand that your god must have had a good reason to impregnate an unwary woman with himself, let himself be killed and come back to life and then return to heaven again so he could forgive your sins rather than something easy like thinking "I forgive you".

-You believe in evolution but it started when god made the earth and man about 6000 years ago.

-You know that when someone survives a great fall, god must have saved them but let them fall in first place for some good reason.

-You can pick and choose, and interpret literally or figuratively from his book and still be right.

-You think that he is beyond our knowing even though he helped write a book.

-You think saying someone works in mysterious ways is an answer.

-You'll need a theologian to help you answer negative assertions and when they say it's god's plan, that's good enough for you.

-Even if god's existence could be proved false to the 99.999999999999999999 percentile you would still believe because you have faith.

This is cool, I can edit and add new ones. (c/o =care of) I thought there would be more. Thanks for the help.

Added:

-When challenged you can always say there are other interpretations.
- When you disagree with the practices or beliefs of someone of your faith, then they are wrong or "They aren't true (insert your faith here)."
- you've read less of your Holy book than people who don't believe it. (c/o Magus)
-You know you are religious if....you think that if Carbon-14 dating is inaccurate, then evolution must be false. (c/o American Atheist)

These are thanks to Hambydammit (praise copy & paste)

-"You might be a moderate theist if..."

You recognize that the Bible is flawed, that a good deity wouldn't send people to hell, and that persecuting gays is probably not a good thing. You know the world is old, and you accept the fact that species do evolve. When asked, you will even say that there are possibly other ways to get to heaven than believing in Jesus, because it only makes sense, since lots of people grow up in other religions and don't get to hear about Jesus, and it would be cruel to send them to hell...

And your ass will be warming the seat this Sunday, and you will still give the church your money.

-If you are perfectly happy to question absolutely everything, but when it disagrees with belief in the supernatural, you remind everyone that there is no way to empirically know that anything is certain, and that since there is a possibility that theism is true, your belief is just as rational as an atheist's. (Or possibly as rational... and that's just as good!)