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Get Rich with Jesus

Posted on: September 5, 2007 - 3:23pm

Randalllord

Posts: 690

Joined: 2006-04-12

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Get Rich with Jesus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTYIv8Y-uCA

The 7 Secrets to getting rich is to do the same thing that Robert Tilton did/does:

1. Start a ministry. This is so that you will be completely tax free and beyond IRS audits.

2. Open a bank account in the name you your ministry.

3. Write a book that explains how to get rich with your secret Bible based nonsense, e.g.- "send me $1000 dollars as "seed money" to show God that you love him and he will reward you".

4. Make claims you audience wants to hear, e.g.- "Jesus wants you to be rich".

5. Provide a free book that explains how to get rich to a gullible public. You make it free to show how serious your are about God's word.

6. Pray in front of your audience that God touches their heart so that they may hear your message, i.e. - make them feel guilty if they don't act on your offer.

7. Laugh all the way to the bank when the checks arrive.

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. - Seneca

Posted on: September 5, 2007 - 7:53pm #1

AaronZZZ

Posts: 27

Joined: 2007-05-14

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Ok you Convinced me

Ok you Convinced me.... I am starting the CHURCH OF THE WAY OF THE GOD OF THE LORD OF THE SHEEP OF THE SERVIENT OF THE JESUS! Now membership is only $99.99 and comes with your free holy text written by me and jesus 1940 years ago. If you dont join YOU WILL BURN ( in some manner in a place of some kind ) FOR ETERNITY!!!

All we ask is for legal owner ship of your children, property, and 90% of your income !!!!WHAT A DEAL!!!!

Mr. Triple Z

Posted on: September 5, 2007 - 10:48pm #2

RickRebel

Posts: 327

Joined: 2007-01-16

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AaronZZZ wrote: Ok you

AaronZZZ wrote:

Ok you Convinced me.... I am starting the CHURCH OF THE WAY OF THE GOD OF THE LORD OF THE SHEEP OF THE SERVIENT OF THE JESUS!

Good luck getting all this on a business card.

Frosty's coming back someday. Will you be ready?

Posted on: September 8, 2007 - 3:03pm #3

nullusdeus

Posts: 126

Joined: 2007-02-15

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RickRebel wrote: AaronZZZ

RickRebel wrote:

AaronZZZ wrote:
Ok you Convinced me.... I am starting the CHURCH OF THE WAY OF THE GOD OF THE LORD OF THE SHEEP OF THE SERVIENT OF THE JESUS!
Good luck getting all this on a business card.

You could use an acronym: COTWOTGOTLOTSOTSOTJ jesus! that won't fit either! XDDDD

Miracles don't exist. "Miracle" is a word given to a preposterous event that a theist considers dogmatically advantageous. Def. - Ecclesiastical sensationalism.

Posted on: September 8, 2007 - 3:08pm #4

nullusdeus

Posts: 126

Joined: 2007-02-15

Offline

Randalllord

Randalllord wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTYIv8Y-uCA
The 7 Secrets to getting rich is to do the same thing that Robert Tilton did/does:
1. Start a ministry. This is so that you will be completely tax free and beyond IRS audits.
2. Open a bank account in the name you your ministry.
3. Write a book that explains how to get rich with your secret Bible based nonsense, e.g.- "send me $1000 dollars as "seed money" to show God that you love him and he will reward you".
4. Make claims you audience wants to hear, e.g.- "Jesus wants you to be rich".
5. Provide a free book that explains how to get rich to a gullible public. You make it free to show how serious your are about God's word.
6. Pray in front of your audience that God touches their heart so that they may hear your message, i.e. - make them feel guilty if they don't act on your offer.
7. Laugh all the way to the bank when the checks arrive.

I'm ready to start selling my bibles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEvOlw3y0m8

Thanks, I'm on the road to success!

Miracles don't exist. "Miracle" is a word given to a preposterous event that a theist considers dogmatically advantageous. Def. - Ecclesiastical sensationalism.