Holidays/family gatherings
Offline Hey guys, I was wondering, what do you do about the religious holidays and gift giving? How did your first holidays as an atheist go over? I'm wondering b/c I have no idea how I'm going to act (or my family for that reason) when the holidays come up. My immediate family knows i'm an atheist and are cool with it, but my extended family will most likely flip. (One set of cousins are hardcore xtians and belong to a small cult in PA and are missionaries, the other set are catholic) We usually get together for thanksgiving and what not, and they always hold hands around the table and pray before dinner. I'm just imagining what will happen when they ask me to hold hands with them and pray. I won't do it, but i don't want to start a family fight or make a scene before dinner. What do you guys do, and did you have any interesting experiences the first time your extended familiy found out you were an atheist?
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I will hold hands but I don't bow my head and pray. I scope out the food and have a good jump on the rest of the fam when it comes to the choicest cuts and biggest slices. Gift giving is much more of a social thing, so I don't really see the problem of that.
"When you hit your thumb with a hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a special kind of atheist to jump up and down shout, 'Oh, random fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!'"-Terry Pratchett
I don't really associate with my family so I wouldn't really know. To be clear, my break with my family was unrelated to my lack of religious belief.
My friends are xians in that way where they go through the motions. I've never seen any of them pray and I doubt they do. They are like most of the population I suspect, just nodding their heads when people ask if they 'believe'.
Holidays and traditions I don't care for. My wife likes the Christmas gift giving stuff; I try to be a good sport. I find the whole idea mildly offensive on several levels, but currently I am willing to make the concession for my wife. There may come a day when I will no longer go through the motions with her, but I try and pick my battles.
Really though, the issue of fundamentalists is a no brainer. Crazy people will behave in a crazy manner. You can bank on it. You either go through the motions and tell them what they want to hear or they will give you dirty looks, make snide comments under thier breath, or go the other way which is offensive remarks and potentially violence. In that instance, I will make no concessions and will stand up proudly and loudly. I refuse to be pushed around by other peoples insanity.
I guess in that situation religion would be selected against by natural selection.
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I'll get back to you when I think of something worthwhile to say.
Go ahead, hold hands and let 'em pray. That doesn't mean you have to bow your head and pretend to pray.
While they have their eyes closed during the prayer, you can scope out the food.
The part that I always hated was when someone pulled out a bible and started reading scripture. It was really hard to sit still through that. I just tried to sit in the corner of the room in case I started rolling my eyes or heaving heavy sighs of boredom.
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I give no respect to those that prove they have none for me.
[edit for clarity]
Religion, by it's own design, has always been something that society feels hesitant to criticize. I do not share this belief, and if they insist on putting religion in my face I will either leave or expain to them that we must come to a respectful accord. WHEN they refuse to give an inch ... I walk.
like most others, here, holidays for me are about family. i don't pray or bow my head, but i let others do it if they wish. most theists give a very superficial recognition to the traditional meanings of holidays such as christmas and easter, anyway.
one of my favorite aspects of the show "futurama" is how, in the future, nobody knows what "christmas" is. it's "x-mas", and it's a scary holiday where people hide from the evil robotic santa. and, sorry, but i can't mention futurama without sharing my favorite Frye quote, "ow! it's hot! the butter in my pocket's melting!"
www.derekneibarger.com http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=djneibarger "all postures of submission and surrender should be part of our prehistory." -christopher hitchens
That's a really good question to consider on a large scale if one wants to be true to ones self. Like most said I would also hold hands but not bow my head and pray. While they were praying I would look at the food and how ridiculous everyone looked talking to their imaginary friend as a whole. But if things got too out of hand I would clarify to them all that - I Love Them All As People/Family And Who The Are, I Respect Their Beliefs, And As An Atheist I Hope They Respect Mine. Then stress the FACT that this standpoint doesn't interrupt the love I have for them.
Kinda like the same respect they should have for someone who believed in one of the other 3,000+ documented gods...
But in the end like someone else pointed out you either stand up and take the heat, Or sit down and freeze. The only thing you can do to be true to yourself while at the same time keeping everything cool is to try to soften up the meaning of your standpoint as much as you can.
Slimm,