I am sick of religious fads. Seriously. It's not cool to be Christian anymore so now everyone is following Kabala and Buddhism. If you're rich you're into scientology which is basically L. Ron Hubbard's drunken rebuttal to the bible.

It's all some trend. Next year it might be cool to be a Satanist, then kids everywhere will be "Satanists" and reading all their texts and "cool" for it. It's like the latest shirt. You have to wear the trendy clothes and act the trendy way so of course you put on the trendy religion.

Buddhism is what is bothering me right now. Almost everyone I know is "looking" into it or has looked into it at one point in time and every damn one of them says one day or another that they are Buddhist. I can guarantee you that most of the self-proclaimed religious trendy's don't have a clue what they are talking about or what they are claiming they believe in. It's a joke. Madonna is into Kabala so I have to be too because after all that is the cool thing. Who cares if I don't know anything about it! I'm into Kabala! Yay me!

Grow a brain. No, wait.. Even better.. GROW UP!

You're not Buddhist. You're not into kabala. You're not into scientology. You're just a moron who can't figure your own head out and thus turns to the latest "cool" thing. If Hinduism was cool, you'd be a Hindu. You're just bought and paid for just like the Christians, Muslims and Jews. Your shit just has a different smell.

Why don't you just say your Christian, only you don't like the name Jesus anymore so you changed it to Buddha and you don't like the term Heaven anymore so you call it Nirvana, and you don't like to call it praying anymore so it's meditating and you don't like the ten commandments anymore so you adhere to the laws of Karma and instead of going straight to heaven after you die, your reborn because that sounds so much more poetic.

Hey, it's okay.. I understand the need to keep my thoughts in line with all the other "cool" thoughts of my time. I also wear Britney Spears underwear, because if she wore it, it's a slam dunk into cool-ness!

Which turns me to my rant dealing with Mystics: hey, as long as I'm attacking the spiritual choices of everyone alive, why not attack the mystics too? Just in case everyone lost the memo: Jesus isn't cool anymore, but Isis is, and so is Thor, and Loki, and Ceridwen, and the three-fold goddess and whoever else you want to believe in. Hey, Jesus is pretend, but those guys... man they are real! I know, because when I dream I enter the astral plane and TALK to them. They TALK to me, which means I'm CHOSEN. If I'm CHOSEN to be SPECIAL by a god almost no one has heard of or cares about that means that I'm SMARTER THAN YOU AND PHILISOPHICAL!

So let me take a moment and pin a big, shiny gold star on my shirt and strut around in this HUGE circle for a moment with my chest puffed out so everyone can see just how SPECIAL I really AM!

Mystics bug the piss out of me, almost as much as the monotheistic people do, yet slightly more so than the religious trendy's. They are probably stuck between the two categories in my view. (1. Monotheism 2. mystic's 3. religious trendy's)

Its one big game of Halloween. Like one of my professors said Mystics are ridiculous because "it's only cool if it takes place in another time, in another place." It doesn't matter what flavor of mystic you are, it's all crap. If the Christian God doesn't exist what the hell makes you think I'm going to agree that Thor does? Because his hair cut is so much cooler in that one painted picture on your Tarot deck?

Hey, just so you know, Wicca is a NEW religion which has nothing to DO with the British Isles and has no relation to the burning times. Oh wait, Isis doesn't exist, neither does Thor. So read your little books and pin your gold stars on your chest, stay in your little clubs because once you leave them the rest of the world is going to look at you like your crazy and ask you why you never turned anything beyond 12. Oh, the dress up costumes on those so-deemed "holy days" are just so swanky cute. They really imbue me with this special feeling...

Wait... maybe that's just gas. Acid reflux... indigestion....

My point is that there is no point to the mystics. They are like their own brand of insane. I love it when they try to talk to me about their Gods and views of God and think they are so philosophical. "Oh... dude... I don't believe in God either, but check out what my VIEW of God really is. I know you'll love it because I think the same way you do." When they try to turn intelligent I want to run to the nearest toilet.

If I don't believe in Jesus or Zeus, what the HELL is going to possibly turn me on about your version(s) of zealot?

Come on and see it the way it really is: mystics are stuck playing Halloween. They are grown adults who think they have "magic powers", wear special costumes, talk to people only they can see, hear, touch, feel and dream about, have a special place with a special name only they can "access" when they are in their right state of mind.. And if your one of the really COOL mystics you even have a special book (or two) you read, and you have special sayings and slogans you utter to each other....

Gold stars to all!

The only cool thing about mystics is that instead of being self-disillusioned by one god, your self-disillusioned by two or more! But hey, it's in another place at another time so IT'S COOL!

Trendy bastards.

--Sarah--

Food for Thought:

Businesses may come and go, but religion will last forever, for in no other endeavor does the consumer blame himself for product failure. ~Harvard Lamphoon, "Doon" (paraphrase)