My Thoughts on Marriage #1

by Mindcore 

3-2-08

So lets discuss the institution of marriage. 

First lets all take a big disturbing look at the elephant in the middle of the room:

Why would anyone get married?

Lets examine some basic scientific facts.

Sexual desire for another can be directly caused by nothing more than electrical simulation to the septal region of the brain as was demonstrated by Robert Heath of Tulane university in humans, with his famously unethical study, in which he electrically caused homosexual volunteer B-19 to have uncontrolled sexual desire for women.

Oxytocin is neurotransmitter and hormone which seems to be active during human acts of non-sexual intimacy. It has even been suggested by military scientists that this chemical should be given during interrogations of terrorism suspects, causing them to love their captors.

There is also a basic chemical release of dopamine in the nucleus accumbens which is associated with most achievement of desire. This is why the Marovingian 

on the Matrix 2 says falling in love is no different than eating too much chocolate and then we have the erotic scene of his chocolate cake slice turning the woman on.

For me the question is simple, if we give you a coctail of these neurlogical stimulations to any human target will you feel love for them. Real love, or will something prevent it.

All my money is on a definite: YES!

It is my conclusion based on nothing but the scientific evidence that romantic love is a electrochemical reaction. 

So why should we get married then.

We could just have a rotating lifestyle of many sexual partners. 

Of course doing this need not be an obstacle of marriage, many actors and actresses in the pornography industry are married, mormon fundamentalists have plural marriages, there is also the swinger culture, many people marry but are not monogamous. 

Why did they get married?

Probably the same reason I did.

I found someone I thought was so awesome, so inspiring, so capable of making me feel great that I wanted that person close to me from now on.

Things can change, we all take that risk.

But it seems that many people marry for other reasons than just access to sex, as demonstrated by the cultural phenomena listed above.

Marriage is its own thing, its a bond of somekind, something deep and beautiful.

So what if is electrochemical in origin, does that make it any less awesome.

Let me tell you right now, music is nothing more than the ripples of air molecules hitting your eardrum and releasing calcium in your cochlea within your ear. 

Does that make it any less sublime?

Not to me. If anything the fact that something so lovely as my relationship with my wife or music might emerge from the laws of nature playing out their ballet is nothing less than awe inspiring.

So as I remove my jaw from the ground, let me get back to the point. 

Marriage is not for everyone necisseraly, but it is for me, and I want to express some ideas about it.

First of all I want to talk about why marriage can be a little difficult.

You have to learn another person's quirks and adapt to them.

And sometimes the learning curve can be rough.

You have to learn to be a unit in society.

This can be extremely difficult if you fail to have some important factors in common.

For example I am an extrovert, and my amazing wife, is definitely more of an introvert.

So how can I represent our marriage if I am out and about so often without her.

I am still learning, but I definitely think that it is unwise to not do this.

If I simply allow myself to appear single then I invite controversy and problems because my wife and I are monogamous.

We have decided to be monogamous because it feels more natural to both of us, and we both feel that we need to be in central focus in each others lives, and the lack of monogamy would make this difficult if not impossible,

We want to be the only person in each others hearts that radiates as brightly.

This is definitely true for me, and I find all of my inspiration for my wife.

There is not a drawing I've done, a podcast I've recorded, a blog I've written, a course I've aced without feeling as though she gave me the fuel to achieve these things. She is my source of power. 

If I signed her name, along with mine, to everything I did it would be nothing less than true. 

My wife is an edge that I have in this world, she's an ace in my sleeve, she is my recharging dock, she is my muse, she is my secret weapon, she is my source of fulfillment.

I wouldn't want to miss out on any of that, and for us this comes through marriage.

Its a completely beautiful thing built out of nothing more than nature at play.