I was born to an Episcopal mother and a Catholic father. I was baptized Lutheran. I was confirmed in a Presbyterian church. But I don't think there was ever a time when I really believed anything I was hearing or saying.

We all had to go to church every Sunday with my mom. We did Sunday School, vacation bible school, youth group, CC, lock-ins, pancake breakfasts, retreats, the whole nine yards. When they would sing hymns, I would stand in silence. When the pastor would ask for a response from the congregation, I was tight-lipped. I frequently sat in the back and brought my walkman in so I could listen to cassettes of my favorite bands while the sermon droned on in the background. Sometimes my friends and I would volunteer to watch the kids in the nursery so we wouldn't have to be in church for the service.

I once even ran away from home for several hours because I didn't want to go to confirmation class. My parents weren't very happy about that, but it was very uncomfortable to have to make these affirmations of something I didn't believe to be true.

All through high school I considered myself an "agnostic" although in my heart of hearts I don't think I believed it at all ("Agnostic" in the popular-definition sense, not in the true definition sense). I explored many other spiritual and paths such as Judaism, the Kaballah, Hinduism, Taoism, and Zen. I even read a lot of Greek and Roman mythology. Zen is probably the only one I would still consider valid, mostly because it doesn't speak about the unknown; Only about enhancing your worldly experience. I noticed striking similarities between all the stories, even though they were all told in different ways.

About 4 or 5 years ago I discovered Zechariah Sitchin. Reading about the An.unna.ki and ancient Sumer and Babylon, and about what he believes the origin of life on earth to be (if you haven't read about this, check it out -- it's really interesting). Finally, something that made sense! It was rational, it had a real-life foundation, it had some evidence to back it up. I didn't wholeheartedly believe in all of it, but I thought it was a start.

It was at this point that I began to realize that I was becoming more and more atheistic every day, and it felt GOOD.

Over time, I accepted my own mortality as an inevitability. I accepted responsibility for my own actions, and that I alone am to blame or to praise for the peaks and valleys in my own life experience. It was liberating. Life made much more sense when you take out the guesswork of a deity. Since I accepted that I reap what I sow, there was no issue of sin or commandments anymore. It was my responsibility to ensure that I lived a life worth living.

In the past 2 years, I begun to "out" myself as an Atheist. I have formally declared it to my close friends. I still haven't told my parents yet, but I will eventually. Each time I announce it to someone new, I feel a renewed confidence in myself. I am no longer ashamed of it, especially having found other people of like minds. We may still be a minority, but there are a lot of us. I still occasionally feel fear when around large groups of religious individuals. Mostly because they don't understand us and are told that we are immoral and wrong, and I guess I'm afraid that one of them will think he's "doing god's work" by harming me or my family.

At this point, I am doing more research; watching videos, reading, thinking, etc. I frequently engage in ontological arguments with devout Christians. My targets aren't the Christians I argue against, but rather the bystanders -- the people who aren't decided which side they belong to. Lectures by Edward Tabash and Richard Dawkins are especially helpful with research for this. I want to be more active in promoting Atheism, but I guess I'm still trying to find where I fit.

My name is Aaron, and I deny the existence of any and all God(s), particularly the Judeo-Christian God.