I have spent the last few hours reading varies debates on diffrent sites - some asserting that Darwinism is faith based and that people need to see this.

It dawned on me - I am not a scientist - I have only basic knowledge of science and I am not inteligant enough ( or is it that I dont have enough time ) to fully grasp many of the concepts.

It also was countered with - I have never read the bible - why - well because it boores the hell out of me and I think its a waste of time.

If I were to assert at this moment - I believe evoltion is a valid scientific therory - I would indeed be making this statement of faith - because I have never read it - I have never educated myself on this subject more than reading cliff notes are getting the gist of it. Or just listening to some one else tell me.

Did my faith originate from being to lazy to think for myself ? Does it even matter ? I mean do I have to believe in something. I trust the scientific community I have faith that it is full of people who know more than I do about science and if they say " evalution is a valid theory" i will believe it untill they tell me other wise. This is faith - How is it diffrent then my faith in god or a bible I have never read ?

am I trading one belief system for another ? I understand that to a scientist it is not belief they understand how it has been tested and proven BUT I DONT. I understand it no more than my ansestors would have understood some one telling them the earth isnt flat. They either believed it or didn't. So the question is do I put my faith in a book full of things and actions and rules that I myself could never respect ( the parts I have read ) even if on reading it in intirety I might find some good to or do I put my faith in a proscess that makes sence ?

Like peer review and the constant search to prove itself wrong.

Do I choose to believe there is an infalible god looming over me
or do I choose to believe we dont know all the answers and we are still searching but I shall believe the answers the scientific community presents because the proscess it goes through to try and govern it self seems less currupt then that of the above god.

A lot of this probably doesnt make sence - but really its a way to write my questions and thoughts out so I can try and make some semblance of them.

One more thing ...

why was I taught to "FEAR GOD" ( the god in the bible not the one I know I want to exist)

Could the bible have been written by a bunch of people suffering from CPTSD due to the harsh lives they were leading. They fear god as they fear an abuser. They love god as one loves an abuser.