After playing the Bible Fight flash game (which is awesome), I recently had a conversation with a fellow atheist about how cool it would be if there were a cartoon where all of the most significant bible characters came together (we'll say they were assembled by god in order to flout any problems with chronology... god can do anything, you know?) and formed a bible character justice league.

Based on their lives and stories, what kinds of unique abilities could we expect their superhero versions to possess?

When we start mixing and matching stories and talents, what kind of adventures might unfold?

Bible Justice League: Episode #1: The Drop

The chief (God) sends Jesus a message via an inscription on a wall telling him that his work on Earth as a powerful orator is far from over. With the help of the Bible Justice League, he'll need to cross an ocean and start over in a new land. Out of custom, the message self-destructs, destroying Jericho a second time.

Jesus and the Bible Justice League set out across the Atlantic on Noah's tricked out battle-ark. Halfway through their journey, they are set upon by Satan's dreaded armada of evil. With some impressive cane work, Moses begins parting up a shitstorm for the demon fleet, but things soon unfold into heated hand-to-hand combat aboard the deck of the battle-ark. Jesus raises Cain---literally---before sneaking out the back with Jonah, who offers to take Jesus the rest of the way in his personal submarine. (His crew consisting of one Pinocchio and one Gepetto.)

Jesus accepts, explains that as soon as they get to shore, they'll need to engrave and bury some metal tablets. Upon uttering the word "tablets", Jesus has an afterthought and tells Moses he can't come. Moses is sad to be demoted to B-squad, but he understands and knows that he and Noah really make an awesome team. Jesus and Jonah hop into the whale and Jesus gives Jonah the run-down. Agent Smith will make the pick-up.

Next episode, more shit is made up!